Health

May 19th 2023

Peter Germany Health, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Writer, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Good Evening folks! How are we doing tonight? I hope everyone has had productive and fun weeks.

I’ve written 640 today, I didn’t have much time and I’m quite happy with that. Overall this week has been pretty good, I’m about 4000 words in with two days to go. Even though the words petered out in this mid to end part of the week I’ve kept a bit of momentum but writing each day going. Even if it’s only a couple of hundred words. I’m trying to build a mentality of consistency. Whether its a few words a day or a thousand. It’s all words. At the start of the year I set a goal of writing for at least half an hour a day, for at least twenty-five days a month. So far this month I’ve had two days where I’ve not done any writing work.

I know my biggest enemy is myself. My sheer lack of confidence and self-esteem torpedos me, I get some oomph going and I have a bad day which takes a chunk out of my confidence and or self-esteem and I retreat into my shell. My aim is to keep my momentum going even when I take a mental health hit. This is something I feel like I’m improving on. I feel more capable of sitting in the chair and getting words done when I’m looking for an excuse not to get any writing done.

I’m not discounting the fear element either. Once I’ve got a story done, as in something I’m either going to self-publish or submit to a publisher, then once it’s out there it’s out there. It’s something that can be judged, and I know I have to have a hard skin for it and that’ll come with time and more I get out there, but there’s still that potential rejection from the reader. I know anything I publish will blow up, but it’ll still have some readers.

A random picture I took in my garden this afternoon

These are things I know I’ve got to overcome, and I think I’m doing it bit by bit. Being consistent with being productive is going to help. Doing so always leaves me in a better headspace. So its a win-win.

Yesterday was pond cleaning day 🙂

Right, I’ve rambled enough (need to stop doing that. Rambled makes it sound like what I say has no weight or direction. Its a form of self-deprecation and although us Brits can be experts at that it doesn’t help someone like me), so I’m gonna watch a movie and call it a night.

Have a great weekend all!

Flash Post – 10/5/23

Peter Germany Health, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Sci-Fi, Short Fiction, Writer, Writing , , , , , , , ,

Evening folks, I’ve not felt too well this afternoon and have felt wiped out. I think it’s some fallout from being unwell at the weekend. So I’ve stepped back my goal today (1000 words), and will get back on it tomorrow.

I did write 221 on the short story today during my break at work. This has gone in a totally different direction than I was expecting, so I’m not sure where it’ll go.

Right, have a good one, folks!

8th of May 2023 – Building A Structure

Peter Germany Health, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Preparation, Sci-Fi, Short Fiction, Writer, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Howdy folks, I hope everyones week has started well. I had a good start with work and when I got home I got some words wrangled and did some gaming before dinner.

I managed to scrap a few words during my break as well on a short story but not many. All in all I wrote about 1300 words today give or take. I’m particularly happy with one section where I took a scene that was kind of filler and gave it some depth while building up a subplot for the early part of the book.

I’ve tried to map out what I want to achieve this week on a desk planner. This is something I’ve tried and failed at before but I’m hoping with the changes in life I’ve made and what I’ve learnt will help me make the most of it.

So far this month I’ve 7137 words, I’m trying to figure out what my targets should be and make sure they’re realistic. At the moment I’m working off a rough target of twenty thousand words a month, but I think I should be pushing to have that a minimum goal rather than a target to aim for.

None of the three cats were very helpful today….

I know writing before work, during my break, and when I get home works for me. So why not push and make that my routine and try and focus on building from that? I’ve looked at my work rota for this week, as well as non-writing bits and pieces I need to be doing. As well as time with family etcetera. I’ve worked out my daily targets from looking at what else I have each day. Thursday for example; I’m working 11am through till 6pm. A somewhat unusual shift for me which doesn’t leave much time before work (unless I actually get up at a decent time!) to write. So I think my words will be written during my break and a few after. I do feel like I’m low-balling that number, but I’m also looking responsibly. If I hit target for the other five days of the week (I’ve got my little one at the weekend so I won’t be writing then) then I’ll have 4500 words for the week.

The problem I’ve had in the past is when life throws a curveball I have a habit of loosing momentum with writing, when that’s the time I need to be writing the most. Not only is it good for my mental health to be writing but keeping that habit of writing each day will keep some structure in life. Even if it’s just writing during a break or when I have a spare moment, it’s still writing.

Tuesday 2nd of May, 2023

Peter Germany Health, Horror Writer, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Sci-Fi, Writer, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Good evening folks, I’ve written a total of 1120 words today on two different projects. 758 on War Child, and 362 on a new short story.

I wish I could tap this energy I’ve got at the moment better. over 3500 words in two days? That should be a regular occurrence, not just when I’ve got butt in gear. It needs to become a habit, but defeating my own brain is a war that is still ongoing. I’m winning battles, using the lessons from each one to better fight the next.

I was lurking on Armand Rosamilia’s Twitch livestream yesterday and he was working on a short story and it struck me that I have worked on one short story in the last few months. An idea popped into my head and I started it last night and am currently at 510 words on it. I’m not expecting it to be a long story, and I already know how it’s going to end. I am a little worried the ending will be a bit predictable but I’ll see how it goes.

It’s a good start to the month, I’m going to try and keep it up.

1st of May 2023

Peter Germany Health, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Sci-Fi, Writer, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Howdy folks! How are we all doing?

I have written 2241 words today. I started about 9am and finished a little after midday. A damn good start to the month.

I didn’t deliberately take a break from blogging the last week or so, it’s just been busy away from writing. I had other areas of life where i had to prioritise so writing at those times takes a step back. Today, very much back on track though. I’ve generally been working towards getting back in the habit of writing before work and during my break, which I’ll be focussing some energy on continuing. This has worked well for me in the past and I’d like to build on that, mainly getting more consistent with it. Then the plan his to come home and knock out more words. I know I can do it, but I need to get that consistency. That, I think, is the difference between someone just playing around and someone who wants to make something of their passion.

One of my big faults when it comes to writing is how I’ll back off when other areas of my life are taking more energy than normal. There are times when I don’t write and I’m happy not to be writing, when I have my little for example. Then my focus is on her and it’s one of the few times when I don’t think about writing at all. But those times aren’t like when I’ve got a lot on my plate. Last week for example my Dad was in hospital (he’s home now), so that’s where I put my attention. But even around visiting etcetera I still had plenty of time where I could have written more than I did. I’ve got myself into a mindset where I think I haven’t got the energy, but that’s bollocks quite simply. It’s giving my self-doubt an out. Which I hate because it’s letting doubt win. And bollocks to that as well.

Writing is therapy for me. It helps my mental health in all the good ways, and my self-doubts know that. So it’s trying to stop me from helping myself in more than just making fiction. I need to get that reaffirmed in my head and get back on track again. Today is the start I needed. Tomorrow I’m at work, but I’ll have time after work. I set myself a goal at the start of the year of writing no less than twenty-five days a month, and for at least half an hour. I should be doing that easily! So Peter, you doughnut, get it done!

Hospital waiting area words.

Words Were Wrangled

Peter Germany Health, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Good morning folks! It is early here in the UK as I’m about to start a shift at my day job. I’m not near awake despite the amount of sleep I’ve had recently. For the last week I’ve been hit with some bug which has knocked me off my feet. I’m finally feeling a little better but still very tired.

This has meant I’ve not been writing. I’ve got next to nothing done this month but I did manage to get my arse in gear yesterday and cracked some words out.

I think I’ve figured out what I’ve got to do with War Child as well. I’m not going to go into details but I hope I’m going in the right direction with it now.

Thankfully I am beginning to feel a lot better. Once I’ve been finishing work this last week I’ve been crashing out, but each day feels a little less like I need to just pass out when I get home. So hopefully I’m well past the worst of it.

6th February 2023

Peter Germany Editing, Health, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Sci-Fi, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Howdy, folks! How are we all doing?

I’ve had a good weekend with family. But I did manage to get a little writing down first thing yesterday and a little tonight. About 4500 words edited in about an hour or so altogether.

It’s been a good start to the writing month, I’m nearing 8000 words edited with around 500 new words down. Most of those are on a non-fiction piece.

I did also, finally, find a way to get my iMac up and running. It’s been out of acton for a while. What happened was the screen just up and stopped working. Well, it was like someone turned off the screen’s light. You hold a torch to it, you could still see the display. Now, I did do a little googling at the time, and here and there I’d look into it. Although I didn’t go into Apple and speak to someone I did speak to a couple of computer repair shops and they were quite clear in that it just wasn’t cost effective to repair it. The annoying thing was, it would work for a bit and then nothing for months. Eventually I just stored it, having given up on it.

Then, a few weeks ago I got thinking about it again, like could I just not connect it to another screen? Well, back to the googling, and yes. I was searching for the problem previously. This time I was searching for the solution, can I connect my iMac to another screen? After a little digging, all I needed was a thunderbolt connector plugged into a HDMI adaptor. I plugged it into my tv and boom! it worked! I planned to connect it to my old tv which had lost its sound, but the tv had completely died. So I hopped online and ordered a monitor and I’m up and running. The annoying thing is, the damn iMac screen is working perfectly well, at the moment………

Until it does, I’ll run it as a multiscreen set up. It’s strange, a lot of the changes I’ve been making the last couple of years all seem to be coming together. I’ve got better concentration, I’m more at peace in myself. I don’t have so much of the self-hatred running around my head like I used to. It feels good.

Right, I’m off to watch a bit of Orange Is The New Black. Have a good one, folks.

January 2023 Reflections

Peter Germany Cat, Editing, Health, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Preparation, Sci-Fi, Travel, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

January wasn’t a bad month, I wrote 5448 words, and edited 51758 words.

I realised I needed a lot more background work on War Child before I can move forward with it. So I decided to go back to Black Blood while I start building what I need to progress on War Child. Because I’ve had a somewhat busy and interesting month I’ve not done as much on War Child, or writing work in general, as I’d have liked. But it’s not been disappointing though, it’s given me time to let War Child simmer nicely, let ideas grow naturally. I think that element has been very helpful in that I haven’t just rushed through it and made a pigs ear out of it all.

The edit on Black Blood is not overly taxing. For the most part it is just going through and taking out any little spelling and grammar errors. This will be my final pass on Black Blood before it’s shelved until I have the money to get it edited. It’s behind Penal Earth in that queue.

Not quite what I was hoping for, but still enjoyed it.

On a personal note, I had some good news which came near the end of the month. I broke out of my fear-built cocoon and got away for a couple of days, I’ll have a post about that soon. I feel like I’ve had some good mental and emotional growth, and have made some interesting self-realised revelations about myself. Which, honestly, I’m still working on figuring out.

Selfie while in Brighton

But I tell you what, it feels good.

2023 Goals

Peter Germany Health, Horror Writer, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Planning, Preparation, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

So, here we are, 2023. I feel like the last few times I’ve tried getting goals scribbled down I end up loosing track of where I am on them. This time I’m hoping to be able to stick to them much better. I feel more focused, more capable at the moment and like I can actually follow through with these plans.

1 – Publish my zombie novella

2 – Publish one vampire era story to my ko-fi a month (this covers me till august)

3 – Continue writing War Child (2022’s NaNoWriMo project)

4 – Find publishers to submit Penal Earth to

5 – Complete Black Blood (just need to do the final edit)

6 – Continue planning for Penal Earth 2

7 – Spend no less than half an hour a day, for at least twenty-five days of the month working on writing projects

8 – Blog on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays

9 – Continue serial killer story

10 – Find anthologies to submit to

This feels like a big list, like there’s a lot I’ve lined up for myself. I do feel like I can do it though, I don’t feel like I’m fooling myself with what I want to achieve in this calendar year. A lot does rest on me continuing working on my life in general. I’m going to try and map out some personal growth goals as well, but I’m not sure where I want to start with that one.

17th November 2022

Peter Germany Cat, Editing, Health, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Nanowrimo, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We’re well past the NaNoWriMo halfway mark now, and I’m at 23246 words. So, about 5000 words behind. Quite happy about that. I feel like I’m staying in sight of the goal while still building a story. I think I’m going to end up with a lot of fragments of scenes when the month is over, but that’s a foundation to build from.

Strangely I feel like I’m stepping up a level with this one. It has a lot of moving parts and I think I’ve got a good handle on them all.

I’ve written a little differently today. I’ve knocked out about 1700 words but done it while laying on my bed with movies going in the background. Both movies are ones I’ve seen a lot and have been helpful because I can drop into them when I need a mental breather and don’t end up getting sucked into a social media blackhole. Which happens a lot when I sit at my desk and try and write after a work shift.

It’s a hard life isn’t it? 🙄
Tired human 🥱

I also had a couple of hours between work and starting to write to relax a bit. Going straight from work to writing can sometimes prove difficult. Kind of like I’m putting too much pressure on myself, but putting that mental break in there seems to be working okay.

Right, I’m off for the night.

Be awesome, everyone!