Good Morning, 22nd of March 2021

Howdy folks, how are we all doing today?

I’m feeling better than I did last night. Despite one very strange dream I slept well and this morning have written 372 on Black Blood and 826 on a story set in the Penal Earth world.

I’d hope to knock out a nice 1000 words on Black Blood today, but I really wasn’t feeling it. I can’t get my head in the right place to write the ending how I want it to play out. But instead of sitting and stewing about it I got stuck into another story. One that I’ve rewritten the opening for and am a lot happier about it now. I’m still not sure where I’m going to take it but I hope I’ve got a good footing to build from and have opened up another element of that world.

This always helps pull me from a creative funk.

I didn’t watch Day Watch like I was planning to last night. I was exhausted and the thought of watching something new, with subtitles (i don’t mind subtitles but I need to be more awake than I was last night), was a little too much. So I dived into some YouTube and then got my head down.

This week I’m going to get back in the flow of things. I’ve got lates for most of the week, so I’m hoping with some earlier nights I can get some energy built up again.

21st of March 2021

Hey folks, I’ve not written today but have transferred the vampire 1st draft over to Scrivener.

Short post today, I’m wiped out. I’ve posted a video on my YouTube today which is embedded into this post where I talk more about how the last few days have gone and why I’m so tired.

2020 Numbers

Originally posted on Buy Me A Coffee.

Last year was a mixed year for pretty much all of I would say. I’m no different. It was both the best and worst year of my life, from an amazing high to a low I didn’t know existed. If you’re a reader of my blog at petergermany.com you’ll know I’m not going to go into details on those moments. I talk about them because they did have an impact of writing. As you will see from the words I wrote and edited last year.

So, let’s get down to business:

  • January – 9011 words written
  • February – 11171 words written
  • March – 5691 words written
  • April – 562 words written
  • May – 1454 words written
  • June – 517 words written
  • July – 4524 words written, 39962 words edited
  • August – 14641 words written, 55323 words edited
  • September – 20471 words written, 7495 words edited
  • October – 15773 words written
  • November – 50615 words written (NaNoWriMo)
  • December – 13698 words written, 4477 words edited
  • Totals – 148128 words written, 107257 words edited

I only started tracking the words I edit in July which is why there are no numbers for them before that.

I was also published in three anthologies:

  • Corona-Nation Street from Burdizzo Books
  • Beneath The Leaves from Burdizzo Books
  • It Came From The Darkness from Red Cape Publishing and Phillip Rogers

I am so proud of these stories. My story in Corona-Nation Street, The Wank Diaries, had been written with this anthology in mind but I didn’t like the ending and with everything in life I’d forgotten about it until I’d seen a reminder pop up about it. So I rewrote the ending, which totally changed the tone of the story and I bled into it a lot. In hindsight maybe a little too much, now that I think back to it. But what it adds to the story I think gives it an impact that wasn’t there before.

The other two anthologies are ones I was invited into, with my story in Beneath The Leaves written long before life took a hard turn. My drabble in It Came From The Darkness was easy to write, almost impossible to get it down to the required 100 words!

Looking back now I’ve got the numbers right there, yeah, I’m incredibly happy with how much I achieved as a writer in 2020. There was a moment late in 2019 that I quit, then during the darkest moments of 2020 I didn’t make a decision but writing wasn’t going to be something I ever did again. When I started pulling myself clear of the dark hole I’d slipped into the words started coming again. I remember when I started blogging again last year, I talked about how I was struggling to get the words out again. The Wank Diaries got me going again. There was a deadline and I got it done in time.

That story got me back to doing what I needed to be doing, writing. Many things have helped me to get to the good place I’m in now, but that was a very distinct moment. Writing to me isn’t just a career. It’s part of my soul. Written into my DNA at the most primal level, and I’m never going to stop.

27th February 2021

I’ve started editing 7843 words and written 1181, but also deleted about 3000 words. This means I’ve moved onto the next story in the vampire book and boy is there a lot of changes to make. I’ve got a feeling this will be more rewrite than edit, but we’ll see how it goes.

I’m just about to get ready for work, and despite feeling dead tired I’m feeling good. It always helps getting words wrangled early on in the day. I get to work and I’m energised (despite the fatigue), because I’ve already accomplished something. I’ll take a notebook with me to try and do a little during my break but I’m not expecting to get more done today. I’m trying to push harder, get more done, but until I sit down and look back at the month I’m not going to judge it too much. I can’t guilt trip myself on days like yesterday when I didn’t write. I need to get in the habit of looking what I’ve done over the month and then set myself a target for the next month to try and better that.

Right, I’m off to get my butt into gear. I hope you all have a lovely weekend, and be kind and good. It makes a difference even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Good Morning, 24th February 2021

Hey folks, how are we all doing today?

I’m not feeling as energised as I have been, and I’m writing this much later than yesterday for example. Something I do when I’m at work when customers ask me how I am I’d say ‘I’m good thanks, I’m always good me,’ It gets some laughs and it generally is true. Even when I’m feeling down I’ll try and snap myself out of it, because it doesn’t help anybody. I know it’s easier said than done. If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know I was finding things very difficult last summer, and it’s been a journey and a half to get to where I am now, and its a journey that will never have a destination. Because I learn and grow with each day, each challenge. I’m not letting myself hold me back any longer.

We have the potential to be great. Both on an individual level and as a species. Now, with the state of humanity in this day and age I think it’s going to be difficult for us to achieve that greatness, but as individuals. There’s nothing stopping us. Even when we get knocked down, we get up, and brush ourselves off.

On a recent episode of the Mando Method Armand Rosamilia said about me that I’m always moving forward, even when I’m taking steps back I’m moving forward. That’s what we all need to be trying to do. If we have to take a few steps back, its not a defeat, its a way of moving forward because we might not be quite ready for that next step. It’s like the timing of a pass in a football game. If you play it too early the recipient might not be in a prime position to take a shot. Sometimes stepping back is about being patient.

Right, I’m going to get a little writing/editing done before the day job. I hope you all have a great day, folks!

Good Afternoon, 19th February 2021

Hey Folks, how are we all doing?

I’ve not written yet. After I finished work at 1pm I did some shopping and then have managed to faff about for the last couple of hours so am only now sitting down to work. I’m planning on working until about 6pm and then it’ll be feet up with a bit of TV I think tonight, maybe a movie. I’ll see how I feel. I’m in work early again tomorrow but then have two days off!

Sunday I’m going for a socially distanced walk with a friend, so I might not get a lot done then. On Monday I’ll crack on and get some progress made.

I’m feeling pretty darn good today. I had a good nights sleep and even though I’m feeling tired now, I still feel like I’ve got a real good mindset at the moment and I’m eager to get cracking.

With that in mind, time to get to work! If Dizzy’ll let me!

18/02/21 (2)

Just a quick post while I’m sitting in my car before walking into work. I wrote a little over a 1000 words this morning. I’d planned to write till 8:30am which would give me plenty of time to get ready for work before I had to leave. When it hit that time I saw I was at about 800 words and change for the day. So I pushed through another few minutes and got over that 1000 word mark.

That’s where I want to be, hitting a thousand words in a little over an hour. And I want to be at the point where if I’m close to hitting a 1000 words in a small window of time then I can push through and pass it.

That drive is essential! If I can capture that mentality then I can hit my goals, and there is no reason except myself for that not to happen!

Ready for work, having been productive already means I’m feeling good and raring to go!

Good Evening, 17th February 2021

Hey folks, I’ve written 1231 words today on the vampire book and added some notes to Black Blood character files before I felt wiped out and decided on a nap.

After the nap I was going to do a little more but due to a car issue I took my parents to get their vaccine jabs. I made a few notes while I was waiting for them.

I did finish the episode of the vampire book I’ve been working on. The next one has me scratching my head a little, I’m not really sure how I’m going to tell the story I want to tell. I’m going to think it over a little and see what I can think out. I like this story, but it definitely needs rewriting and bringing onto track with how I want the story to be.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been struggling a little with my mental health. Nothing drastic, but enough to make me notice it. I’m taking steps, using what I’ve learnt from the help I’ve received to get back on track. Getting up early is part of that. The last two days I’ve been up around 8am and writing by 9am. Tomorrow I’m going to get up at about 7am and get cracking again before work. It worked well for me on Tuesday, and has worked well in the past. I get a good start to the day and I have a good day.

I feel like I’m on the right path again. Being productive helps, especially first thing of a morning. It means I’ve achieved something already that day.

A selfie a day keeps the black dog away…

Mental health is something that is still stigmatised. It’s still a dirty subject that people don’t want to hear about. I’m lucky, I’ve got loved ones who will listen when I need them. I’ve gotten great help, but I will fall at times. It’s how quickly I get back I that matters.

My favourite pen, a Parker Cartridge one, that I manage to misplace at least three times a week, but only ever for a few moments 🤣

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Good Morning, 16th Of February 2021

Good morning, folks!

I’ve been awake about an hour and I’m just about to get going on my mornings writing before I go to work. I’m pulling myself kicking and screaming to the laptop today though. I slept, but I don’t feel like I had a settled night. I know I just need to wake up fully, and getting some work done will help.

Something I realised about myself a long time ago was that if I get a good start to the day then the day is almost always better. It gives me a positive mindset and a sense of accomplishment. So that no matter what else happens that day I’ve already been productive and that puts me in a fantastic mood for the rest of the day.

Raven’s cold

It was a struggle to get out of bed when I did today. I had an internal battle with going back to bed for a couple of hours. I don’t have to be at work until this afternoon, so I could have had a few more hours but that felt like a surrender. I preach about being productive and I do that a lot to try and trick myself into doing it. Sometimes it’s easier to just roll over, but then nothing would have got done. I’ve got a few hours where I can just sit and work. I can sleep after work.

First song on a YouTube playlist this morning 🙂

Getting Back On Track (9/2/21)

The last couple of weeks I haven’t got a lot done. Partly I was feeling unwell, but I think more of it was I was drained. Physically, Mentally, and emotionally. Just sometimes it all catches up with me and I adjust what I’m doing, moving my focus to where it needs to be. Which normally means writing is what suffers.

But, it also helps it. It’s a recharge for me. It allows that creative element of my soul rest, it lets me fill the creative well by (trying) to watch new things. I am heavily influenced by movies and TV, probably more than I realise!

It also helps me refocus. Normally when I take some time away from writing when I come back to it and I’ve got a better idea of where I am and what I need to aim for (which is something I definitely need to do!). It helps ideas grow as well. Even when I’m not writing I’m always thinking about it. There’s one idea or another head-banging in my brain and making sure I know it’s there.

I feel like I’m on the verge of getting back into the flow of it. I felt it a little on Sunday but I pulled a few extra hours at work yesterday which wore me out. I’ve not done a lot today, although I’ve added furry family member videos to YouTube today. I’ve got the next two days off, but have a few bits and pieces outside of writing to do. So I’m not planning to spend two days working on writing but I’m determined to get back on track.

There’s a whole playlist of my Furry Family members on my YouTube channel now 🙂

For now, I’m wiped out. So I’m going to watch a movie, and aim to be up nice and early tomorrow to get a good start to the day.