30th June 2022

Good afternoon folks, I hope we’re all well?

Today I’ve edited 3779 on Black Blood, 238 on a flash piece called Watermelon, and 171 on another flash story called Roommate Wanted. Roommate Wanted is now live on my Ko-Fi for all supporters.

I’ve been a little burnt out this last week or so, which means I haven’t written much. So I’m playing a little catchup with things like Ko-Fi and where I want to be with Black Blood. I think I might have to print Black Blood off before I go into the next stage. I’m working through the notes I made on my last pass and have a lot of work to get it where it needs to be. It’s been A slow start but I’ll build my momentum slowly and get back on target.

That’s my writing day done, I’m going to go and start unwinding a bit before an early night as I’ve got an early tomorrow.

Rock on folks!

I quite like this one ☺️

20th June 2022

Good evening folks. Not much to report from the last few days. I’ve been writing dribs and drabs here and there. Tomorrow I’m aiming to get stuck into the next pass through on Black Blood.

I have been working on a piece about my lack of confidence but I feel like I’ve crashed and burned with it. I feel a little like I went off in about a dozen different directions with it. I might give it a little time and see how it settles.

On Friday I went canoeing with my brother and his partner. We went to Herne Bay and stayed in a patch of water protected from the sea by a break water. We’ve been tried to do this last year but were rained off. To say I stepped out of my comfort zone is an understatement, but I stayed out for about ten minutes or so and I did enjoy it despite the anxieties it was stirring up. I didn’t go out again, instead sat and wrote my thoughts down and chatted with my brother and his partner.

Despite the slapped looking face I was enjoying myself

I love the coast and want to get down there more often. Maybe not hopping in an inflatable canoe that often but getting down and enjoying the sea air is going to be good for the soul.

Right, I’m off to watch a movie and then bed. Have an awesome one, folks!

16th June 2022

Howdy folks, It’s the first really blistering warm day of the year here in the UK. So obviously I’ve spent a fair chunk of it at my desk. I did spend about four hours in the garden sorting something out, and have now got a sunburnt bald spot. Lovely.

But writing wise, I’ve written 2356 words on a non-fiction piece that I needed to type up, and it’s done now. This is one of those pieces that is acting a little about self-therapy. Analysing elements of life while I try and figure myself out better. This one was about the car trade of which I spent nineteen and a half years in. I’d love to publish it, but I think I’ll hold off for a while, if ever. It’s something I’ll have to see how I feel with it.

I’ve also done one of these on confidence, well my lack of confidence. That’ll be typed up next. Before that though I’m going to start working through Black Blood again. I’ve got a lot of notes that need to be transferred into it, and hopefully this’ll be my second to last post before sending it off to beta readers.

Right, I’m off for the evening. I’ve got work tomorrow then I’m off kayaking with my brother and his partner.

Have a great one, folks!

Good Evening, 15th June 2022

Howdy folks, likely just a short one tonight.

I’ve been a little burnt out lately so I’ve put writing on a back burner for a couple of days. Today I managed to get back into it somewhat. I’ve written 122 on a new short story set in the Penal Earth universe, and I’ve just finished typing up a short story I wrote earlier in the year.

There’s a new story posted on my Ko-Fi page that is available to all supporters.

Right, I’m going to wrap it here. I’m looking forward to a day off tomorrow. I’ve got a lot to do but it’ll be nice not having to be up before 5am.

Have an awesome one, folks!

9/6/22

Hey folks, how are you all?

Just a quick little post tonight. Last nights post did trigger a little bit of an anxiety spike but it didn’t last long.

Today I managed to get 180 words done on a non-fiction piece, which wrapped it up. I’ll get that typed up at some point.

Right, that’s it for tonight. Have an awesome evening, folks.

Draft Done

Good Evening, 8th June 2022

Good evening, folks. How are we all?

I have had a productive morning. I did a wee bit of tidying and rearranging before getting stuck into writing today. I managed 1023 words on typing up a short story that I wrote a few months ago. This afternoon I had a nap. I’ve got an early tomorrow and I never sleep well when I’ve got an early, so I’ve found that nap during the afternoon to be essential.

I posted a new flash fiction piece to my Ko-Fi tonight, please support and check it out if you’d like to.

There’s been a lot changing in my life recently, one of which is that my mental health medication was increased. I’ve been on medication for anxiety and depression for a couple of years now and with this adjustment it feels like the dosage is right.

That’s not the only element that has helped, I’ve been working on listening to my body. Whether it’s about how I feel after eating certain foods, or how something makes me feel. What the increased dosage of my medication has done is shut down the anxiety better than anything I’ve ever tried before. I was working out in our garden a few weeks ago, taking down an old shed that has long been past its use. We’re hoping to repurpose some of the sides of it, but it needed to come down. Half of the roof had collapsed and it needed to come down. As I was taking it down though I was feeling good about the task. I wasn’t hesitating in how to take it down, I was even thinking about how to make use of the space. After a good few hours of work I took a break, sat down, had a drink. I was also texting a dear friend who I was talking to about what I’d done that morning, when it struck me that I wasn’t anxious. I wasn’t questioning myself in any way. I actually broke down, began crying and text my friend ‘Is this what life is meant to be like?’ she called me and said, quite simply ‘Yes’. We then talked about it, as I cried. So many fucking years living scared of the world. Some days I was fine and did enjoy life, but these were few and far between. Most days I was anxious to leave the house, mainly doing so because I had a job (that I told myself I loved, but in truth I hated it). There was so much I wanted to see and do in the world, but I was too scared too. Twenty, twenty-five years of my life gone. That day as I was sitting in my back garden talking to my friend I cried with a sort of relief at finally feeling free of the prison that my mind had put me in, but also at anger of having let myself be in that prison for most of my life.

Raven investigating my work

Male suicide rates are significantly higher than that of women. Here’s some numbers from the Samaritans. And yes, I was suicidal on a couple of occasions (Not anymore though). There is so much more to what I put myself through over my life, but I’m not going into it here, not now. Partly because I haven’t figured it all out yet. When I mention non-fiction that’s what I’m talking about. Trying to break down the why of this all. I’m slowly getting there, I’ve had some counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that has helped immensely. I’ve also opened up with my loved ones. Instead of hiding my problems, thinking it’s better not to worry them, that’s bollocks as well. Being open and honest with what I’m going through has made it easier to work through all of this. Having that support, that I’ve always known is there, has been priceless.

Ask for help, Mental Health in this country needs a major overhaul and we as a society need better education on the subject. But there are resources out there. Speak to your GP, Google mental health hotlines, there are plenty of organisations, charities, out there who are able to help. Yes there are waiting times, yes it is hard to admit to needing help. Trust me though, it’s worth it.

I still have bad days (I took a big self-esteem hit recently), but they don’t last as long and I’m able to manage my moods so much better. I listen to my body, mind, and soul. Trust me, it’s paying off. I’m happier now than I have ever been, shit, I can’t ever remember feeling this settled and capable. There’s a lot playing into that, but we need to be open to seeing it. To appreciating what we have, to loving what we have.

A self-esteem hit knocked me hard but it doesn’t now last long because I know how to rebuild myself with the help of loved ones and all that I’ve learnt.

Okay, this became a much heavier post than I was expecting it to. But too many people out there are struggling with mental health. And the amount of men who are struggling that don’t seek help because it is not what ‘men do’ is costing too many lives.

Life is amazing when we get out of our own way. From a writing point of view, I’ve been more productive in the last few months than I feel I have ever been. See, brought it back to writing.

Good Evening, 7th June 2022

Howdy folks, how are we all?

I had a later start to my working day than normal, starting at 10am and not 6am like most mornings. So I got up early and cracked out 837 words on typing up a short story I wrote a couple of months ago. I also wrote some words on a non-fiction piece during my break.

This evening I’ve updated some details on my Facebook Page and have a lot planned for tomorrow. Need to do a little spring cleaning and I really want to get a good dent in typing up this short story as well. I want to get that done before I go back to Black Blood.

Right, I’m going to watch a movie. I hope you all have a good night, folks 🙂

3/6/22 – Flash Post

Evening folks, about 150 on a non-fiction piece today. I decided to have a light writing day.

The next couple of days are gonna be light as well, come next week I’ll be getting stuck in again.

A random selfie from last night, I’m struggling with self-esteem a lot at the moment. So trying to force my way through and get back to where I was a few weeks ago.

2/6/22 – Flash Post

Good evening folks, Sorry. I’ve got another flash post tonight.

I did a little editing this afternoon after I got home from work. Then did a little gaming and had a nap. When I’ve got an early I struggle to sleep so I find napping to be helpful in making up for that.

It bugged me that I hadn’t done more editing, when I’d first got home. So I cracked on this evening and got the last few thousand words done.

Max made himself comfy while I was working ☺️

7552 words edited, and I wrote 124 on a non-fiction piece.

The next stage is to let this sit for a couple of days and then I’ll get into making the changes that are needed.

(okay, not so much of a flash post!)

My Ko-Fi page: