Laying It Out

I have not written much for the last couple of weeks. Partly because I’ve not been sleeping well and that led to a drop in my mental health. Nothing major, but writing was sacrificed so I could put more energy into family, friends, myself, and my day job. This isn’t to say I haven’t been thinking about it. I’ve solved a couple of problems I was having and I made sure to note them down.

One of the problems I’ve been fighting this last few weeks is imposter syndrome. That has hit me like a freight train. I haven’t felt this insecure about my writing in quite some time. A big part of it was finding a solution for a problem with the vampire series I’m working on. I’ve been fearing that it’ll need another huge rewrite and that dented my confidence. I don’t have the will to try and rewrite this series which has been in the works for well over a decade. I’d started working through it again last month, and got to two of the episodes and both need a lot fo work to fit into what I want to do. This led to a feeling that I would have to do that big fucking rewrite, and I’ve not looked at it since. I was torn between putting it to bed and moving onto other things. I was done. I don’t have the will to rewrite it again. A writer who is someone I have a lot of respect for keeps telling me to stop editing, and he’s right. I need to stop going over and over this shit time and time again.

But I now know how to fix it by making a few adjustments to those two stories which I felt wasn’t working. I’m a little mad at myself for not realising how to fix it sooner, because it’s such a simple fucking solution! Once those few tweaks are done I just need to go over the rest of it quickly to make sure the continuity works. Then it’ll be all but done! I do have a plan for what I want to do with this series, and not for nothing I want to move on.

Moving on includes Black Blood. This is another one that has been on and off the burner for a while. It’s one of those things where I know I can do better. To give you an example I’ve got a character who I Tell the reader is an arsehole. I know I need to show that more then telling it, and I can do it. I’ve just got to get out of my head that I’m a no good wannabe, and I can’t say I’m not until I put my work out there.

I know I can do it. I fucking know it! I NEED to get out of my own way. I’ve got to stop overthinking every single word I put down. It’s never going to be perfect, I’m never going to be happy with it. But I’m at the point where some projects I know I can’t go any further with. Like Penal Earth. Aside form one dinky little thing I need to add (literally one sentence) I’m done with it. I can’t make it any better. I need another pair of eyes on it. That’s an editor. I know who I want to send it too, but I don’t have the funds and I know they’re super busy at the moment. So I need to save the funds and send it to them when they’ve got the time of send it to another editor.

I’m gonna wrap it there, because I want to get cracking. I know what I need to do with the vampire book, so I’m gonna get it done.

Good Morning, 26th July 2022

Good Morning, I hope everyone is well.

I’ve just read through the original draft of Penal Earth which I’m gutting for Penal Earth 2. Only thirteen pages this morning but had a few bits and pieces to do around that before I settle in for the new GTAV DLC.

I feel a little chaotic at the moment, where I’ve not done much writing this last week I’ve got bits and pieces everywhere! and I need an organise. So tomorrow I’m going to get stuck in with getting the writing bits sorted after A call I’ve got in the morning.

Right, Have an awesome day, all!

21/7/22 -Flash Post

Howdy folks! Super quick post today. I edited about 6600 words of the vampire book this morning.

I’ve not been too well the last 24 hours. I’m feeling better now, I did do a text and it’s not covid. So I’m thinking it was Tuesdays heat and a couple of bad hay fever days.

Have a good one, folks!

Morning selfie

17/7/22

Good evening, folks.

I was up at 6:30am and had edited 7936 words on the vampire book by 10am, amongst a number of non-writing chores.

It’s been a very warm day here in the UK. We’ve got Red weather warnings in place from the met office for heat. There’s predictions of temperatures hitting 40 degrees C over these few days. We’re not used to this here, but we love talking and complaining about the weather. So it’s all good!

The rest of the day has been very low impact. I made sure I did as much as I could yesterday after work and this morning before the temperature rose to its peak. Even the cats have done very little. I’ve not let either out, which hasn’t bothered Dizzy but normally Raven would be trying to claw her way through the windows. She hasn’t. Most of the afternoon both cats were sleeping on my bed as I did a little gaming.

Both cats chilling out on one bed is very rare.

Tomorrow I’ve got lunch planned with a friend but I don’t think I’ll be doing a lot that requires exertion. Probably writing/editing in the morning before lunch and then after, during the hottest part of the day I’ll keep it low impact like today.

Although writing has been a little slow lately I feel I’m picking up again. I have these ups and downs. They normally happen when I’m directing more energy into another part of my life than normal. But, it’s on an upward curve at the moment.

Right, I’m off to bed.

Have an awesome week, folks.

14th July 2022

Hey folks, how are we all?

I’ve eased off writing a little the last few days due to family and work taking priority. But today I’ve got stuck into editing some short stories for Ko-Fi, which means I’ve got stories scheduled for the Welcome To My Nightmare tier through the end of the year. Then next year, I’ll have something that I’ve been working on for a long time kicking off…….

In total I’ve edited 13751 words on four different stories today.

I’ve also stepped back a bit from Black Blood. I realised I wasn’t doing the deep edit it needed and was just going through the motions a bit. This tells me I’m burnt out on this story and I’m going to put it to one side for a while. I’ve got notes keep popping up in my head for it so I’ll note those down and when I get to editing it I’ll put those where they need to be.

In the meantime I’ll be working on Vampire Era as that’s the next on the schedule. I do need to make one minor addition to Penal Earth that I think will explain something a little better. It’s not a change, it’s just a small detail that I need to do a little research on, but it’ll likely be less than a sentence when I do add it.

Speaking of Penal Earth, I am in the very early stages of planning book two.

The last few weeks I have felt off pace, so I’m going to try and step it back up to the level I know gives me a decent level of productivity.

6th of July 2022

I can’t quite bring myself to say ‘good evening’ considering the shit show that is our government right now. Don’t take this as a pop at Johnson or any one in particular. Just the frustrated ramblings of someone who is just fed up of all this drama. Each one, whatever side of Parliament they sit, seems as bad as the other and are only there to fill their pockets and their power. It’s just one big circle-jerk that no matter who’s in charge seems to be the same no matter what. I know there’s good people working in Westminster, there’s good Members of Parliament but the good ones likely will never get to a position where they can do any good because they’re not jerking everyone else off.

What I long for, I ain’t gonna get. A leader who isn’t there to line their own pockets. Someone who isn’t a ‘career politician’, someone who has had a live outside of those circles. And someone who has some fucking integrity.

Anyway, rant over.

This morning I edited 11489 on Black Blood and did a little prep work for Penal Earth book 2.

Here’s some furry family pictures to end the post with.

5th Of July 2022

Howdy folks, just a quick post tonight. I’ve edited 1403 words on Black Blood and done a little planning on Penal Earth book 2. I kept thinking about scenes and plot lines, but I think diving in full steam ahead without any direction then I’m gonna end up hitting a brick wall, or seven!

So I’ve started a basic map out of what I want to do. A lot of what will end up being in book two will be taken from an original draft of the first book, including an element that I was scared I’d have to cut as it didn’t really advance the plot, but now I’ve got an idea to tie it all in nicely.

Right, I’m wrapping it up for the night, have a great one all.