Laying It Out

I have not written much for the last couple of weeks. Partly because I’ve not been sleeping well and that led to a drop in my mental health. Nothing major, but writing was sacrificed so I could put more energy into family, friends, myself, and my day job. This isn’t to say I haven’t been thinking about it. I’ve solved a couple of problems I was having and I made sure to note them down.

One of the problems I’ve been fighting this last few weeks is imposter syndrome. That has hit me like a freight train. I haven’t felt this insecure about my writing in quite some time. A big part of it was finding a solution for a problem with the vampire series I’m working on. I’ve been fearing that it’ll need another huge rewrite and that dented my confidence. I don’t have the will to try and rewrite this series which has been in the works for well over a decade. I’d started working through it again last month, and got to two of the episodes and both need a lot fo work to fit into what I want to do. This led to a feeling that I would have to do that big fucking rewrite, and I’ve not looked at it since. I was torn between putting it to bed and moving onto other things. I was done. I don’t have the will to rewrite it again. A writer who is someone I have a lot of respect for keeps telling me to stop editing, and he’s right. I need to stop going over and over this shit time and time again.

But I now know how to fix it by making a few adjustments to those two stories which I felt wasn’t working. I’m a little mad at myself for not realising how to fix it sooner, because it’s such a simple fucking solution! Once those few tweaks are done I just need to go over the rest of it quickly to make sure the continuity works. Then it’ll be all but done! I do have a plan for what I want to do with this series, and not for nothing I want to move on.

Moving on includes Black Blood. This is another one that has been on and off the burner for a while. It’s one of those things where I know I can do better. To give you an example I’ve got a character who I Tell the reader is an arsehole. I know I need to show that more then telling it, and I can do it. I’ve just got to get out of my head that I’m a no good wannabe, and I can’t say I’m not until I put my work out there.

I know I can do it. I fucking know it! I NEED to get out of my own way. I’ve got to stop overthinking every single word I put down. It’s never going to be perfect, I’m never going to be happy with it. But I’m at the point where some projects I know I can’t go any further with. Like Penal Earth. Aside form one dinky little thing I need to add (literally one sentence) I’m done with it. I can’t make it any better. I need another pair of eyes on it. That’s an editor. I know who I want to send it too, but I don’t have the funds and I know they’re super busy at the moment. So I need to save the funds and send it to them when they’ve got the time of send it to another editor.

I’m gonna wrap it there, because I want to get cracking. I know what I need to do with the vampire book, so I’m gonna get it done.

Good Morning, 30th January 2021

Good morning folks!

After a very slow week I’ve written 1595 words this morning and finished off the first draft of a short story for a project from a fantastic publisher. I’m hoping it fits into what they’re looking for! But either way it’s a story that I really like. After a slow start it’s really picked up and got some nice depth (I hope!).

I’d set myself the goal of the end of the next calendar week to have this draft done, so I’m adjusting that goal so that I’ve got my drafts done. I’d like to get it off to the editor early so if it isn’t what they’re looking for I can have another crack at it.

The zombie book is with the editor now, the artwork is almost done. So I’m optimistic about hitting my release date for it. Very excited and nervous as well!

An update from a couple of days ago 🙂

After my shift today I am off for a week and I’m determined to make the most of it. I’ve been a little down this last week and it’s time to get snapped out of it. This morning has helped. I was up when I wanted to be, and have written and finished a draft today. I know that sets me up for a good shift at work because I’ve already been productive and that fires me up. It leaves me with a good buzz for the rest of the day.

Speaking of work, I’d like to grab a little food before I’m off. Please check out my latest YouTube video which you can see above.

Have a super Saturday, everyone! And I’ll speak to you again tomorrow!