Good Morning, 24th February 2021

Hey folks, how are we all doing today?

I’m not feeling as energised as I have been, and I’m writing this much later than yesterday for example. Something I do when I’m at work when customers ask me how I am I’d say ‘I’m good thanks, I’m always good me,’ It gets some laughs and it generally is true. Even when I’m feeling down I’ll try and snap myself out of it, because it doesn’t help anybody. I know it’s easier said than done. If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know I was finding things very difficult last summer, and it’s been a journey and a half to get to where I am now, and its a journey that will never have a destination. Because I learn and grow with each day, each challenge. I’m not letting myself hold me back any longer.

We have the potential to be great. Both on an individual level and as a species. Now, with the state of humanity in this day and age I think it’s going to be difficult for us to achieve that greatness, but as individuals. There’s nothing stopping us. Even when we get knocked down, we get up, and brush ourselves off.

On a recent episode of the Mando Method Armand Rosamilia said about me that I’m always moving forward, even when I’m taking steps back I’m moving forward. That’s what we all need to be trying to do. If we have to take a few steps back, its not a defeat, its a way of moving forward because we might not be quite ready for that next step. It’s like the timing of a pass in a football game. If you play it too early the recipient might not be in a prime position to take a shot. Sometimes stepping back is about being patient.

Right, I’m going to get a little writing/editing done before the day job. I hope you all have a great day, folks!

Good Evening, 19th February 2021

659 words this evening, and then I hit the wall! So, I’m gonna watch this weeks episode of WandaVision and then maybe a movie.

Working after an early shift does sap the energy more than I’d like to admit, and I’ve got to make sure I’m not burning myself out. I’ve got another early shift tomorrow and then two days off. I almost pushed through to try and hit that 1000 word mark, but I was struggling with the story, I know what I want to say with this scene but I wasn’t able to get the words right. Come tomorrow I’m sure I’ll be able to hit the mark, at worse, I’ll do it Sunday before getting out for that socially distanced walk with a friend I mentioned earlier.

I’ve had a period of heavy fatigue where I wasn’t able to get much writing done. I feel like I’ve come out the other side of that and am getting back on track again.

Right, time for dinner and feet up (jarred my ankle this morning so should really rest it up a bit before tomorrow).

*edit: dinners been demolished, now watching a movie 😁

Good Afternoon, 19th February 2021

Hey Folks, how are we all doing?

I’ve not written yet. After I finished work at 1pm I did some shopping and then have managed to faff about for the last couple of hours so am only now sitting down to work. I’m planning on working until about 6pm and then it’ll be feet up with a bit of TV I think tonight, maybe a movie. I’ll see how I feel. I’m in work early again tomorrow but then have two days off!

Sunday I’m going for a socially distanced walk with a friend, so I might not get a lot done then. On Monday I’ll crack on and get some progress made.

I’m feeling pretty darn good today. I had a good nights sleep and even though I’m feeling tired now, I still feel like I’ve got a real good mindset at the moment and I’m eager to get cracking.

With that in mind, time to get to work! If Dizzy’ll let me!

18/02/21 (2)

Just a quick post while I’m sitting in my car before walking into work. I wrote a little over a 1000 words this morning. I’d planned to write till 8:30am which would give me plenty of time to get ready for work before I had to leave. When it hit that time I saw I was at about 800 words and change for the day. So I pushed through another few minutes and got over that 1000 word mark.

That’s where I want to be, hitting a thousand words in a little over an hour. And I want to be at the point where if I’m close to hitting a 1000 words in a small window of time then I can push through and pass it.

That drive is essential! If I can capture that mentality then I can hit my goals, and there is no reason except myself for that not to happen!

Ready for work, having been productive already means I’m feeling good and raring to go!

Good Morning 18th of February 2021

Good morning, folks!

I’ve got working a couple of hours so I don’t have a lot of time to write. So this’ll be a shorter post today.

I’m not planning on doing anything else other than writing because I want to get stuck into this next story of the vampire book and see if I can get it rolling.

Right, that said it’s time to write. I need to be wrangling words when I can before work, it always sets me up for a good shift and a good day.

Rock on folks!

I’m useless before tea! 🤣

Good Evening, 17th February 2021

Hey folks, I’ve written 1231 words today on the vampire book and added some notes to Black Blood character files before I felt wiped out and decided on a nap.

After the nap I was going to do a little more but due to a car issue I took my parents to get their vaccine jabs. I made a few notes while I was waiting for them.

I did finish the episode of the vampire book I’ve been working on. The next one has me scratching my head a little, I’m not really sure how I’m going to tell the story I want to tell. I’m going to think it over a little and see what I can think out. I like this story, but it definitely needs rewriting and bringing onto track with how I want the story to be.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been struggling a little with my mental health. Nothing drastic, but enough to make me notice it. I’m taking steps, using what I’ve learnt from the help I’ve received to get back on track. Getting up early is part of that. The last two days I’ve been up around 8am and writing by 9am. Tomorrow I’m going to get up at about 7am and get cracking again before work. It worked well for me on Tuesday, and has worked well in the past. I get a good start to the day and I have a good day.

I feel like I’m on the right path again. Being productive helps, especially first thing of a morning. It means I’ve achieved something already that day.

A selfie a day keeps the black dog away…

Mental health is something that is still stigmatised. It’s still a dirty subject that people don’t want to hear about. I’m lucky, I’ve got loved ones who will listen when I need them. I’ve gotten great help, but I will fall at times. It’s how quickly I get back I that matters.

My favourite pen, a Parker Cartridge one, that I manage to misplace at least three times a week, but only ever for a few moments 🤣

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Good Morning, 16th Of February 2021

Good morning, folks!

I’ve been awake about an hour and I’m just about to get going on my mornings writing before I go to work. I’m pulling myself kicking and screaming to the laptop today though. I slept, but I don’t feel like I had a settled night. I know I just need to wake up fully, and getting some work done will help.

Something I realised about myself a long time ago was that if I get a good start to the day then the day is almost always better. It gives me a positive mindset and a sense of accomplishment. So that no matter what else happens that day I’ve already been productive and that puts me in a fantastic mood for the rest of the day.

Raven’s cold

It was a struggle to get out of bed when I did today. I had an internal battle with going back to bed for a couple of hours. I don’t have to be at work until this afternoon, so I could have had a few more hours but that felt like a surrender. I preach about being productive and I do that a lot to try and trick myself into doing it. Sometimes it’s easier to just roll over, but then nothing would have got done. I’ve got a few hours where I can just sit and work. I can sleep after work.

First song on a YouTube playlist this morning 🙂

11th February 2021

Yesterday I started the day off well. I got up early and got work done. I took a member of my household to the dentist and while they were in there I did some scouting in Gravesend town centre, in particular the Civic Centre (see video for more). Once I got home though, I took a mental health hit.

Something small triggered it, something that I see often but yesterday was the first time it knocked me like it did. I didn’t hit rock bottom, but I did fall somewhat. This made it hard to sleep, I think I had maybe two hours altogether. Maybe three at the most, and most of that was today. I was up at 8am like I planned, like I was yesterday but I knew I had to get my head back down. I finally got up at about 10ish and have felt that lack of sleep all day. I’ve tried to nap this afternoon but with no joy. So I’m going to work for a little while, not long, maybe an hour, and then a bath and reading after dinner. Try to relax into sleep.

On the plus side I did get some writing done last night. A little bit on the vampire era, and the part of it I was working on struck me that it might be a part where people may assume that I’m taking from real life experiences a little too literal. I do bleed into my work. I take what I’ve experienced and put it into characters, but how I think I do it is I put the dark moments I’ve had into the stories, but not the situations. I may get close with the odd one but I’ve not got the urge to turn my life into literature, not 100%.

My story ‘The Wank Diaries’ was one I bled into a lot. When I rewrote the ending after I was trying to get myself back it was a totally different vibe to the original ending and changes the tone of the story.

People ourselves into in our work is something that we all do, even if it’s something that’s subconscious. A lot of the time I don’t think we can help it. Writing, for me, is a great form of therapy. I can channel my emotions into my characters and I hope it makes them more real. More relatable.

Another plus side to last nights insomnia was I did look at the Vampire Era again. It’s on my to-do list but I’ve been so preoccupied with Penal Earth and Black Blood I hadn’t got around to looking at it. I’m going to start working on it, because it’s a rewrite and it’ll allow me to write while also working on editing and building worlds. I need to make sure I can find a way to be writing as well as working on the other elements of producing content.

Which is what I’m going to do now!

Getting Back On Track (9/2/21)

The last couple of weeks I haven’t got a lot done. Partly I was feeling unwell, but I think more of it was I was drained. Physically, Mentally, and emotionally. Just sometimes it all catches up with me and I adjust what I’m doing, moving my focus to where it needs to be. Which normally means writing is what suffers.

But, it also helps it. It’s a recharge for me. It allows that creative element of my soul rest, it lets me fill the creative well by (trying) to watch new things. I am heavily influenced by movies and TV, probably more than I realise!

It also helps me refocus. Normally when I take some time away from writing when I come back to it and I’ve got a better idea of where I am and what I need to aim for (which is something I definitely need to do!). It helps ideas grow as well. Even when I’m not writing I’m always thinking about it. There’s one idea or another head-banging in my brain and making sure I know it’s there.

I feel like I’m on the verge of getting back into the flow of it. I felt it a little on Sunday but I pulled a few extra hours at work yesterday which wore me out. I’ve not done a lot today, although I’ve added furry family member videos to YouTube today. I’ve got the next two days off, but have a few bits and pieces outside of writing to do. So I’m not planning to spend two days working on writing but I’m determined to get back on track.

There’s a whole playlist of my Furry Family members on my YouTube channel now 🙂

For now, I’m wiped out. So I’m going to watch a movie, and aim to be up nice and early tomorrow to get a good start to the day.

Good Evening, 5th February 2021

Hey folks, I got 519 words written this afternoon as well as a short vid to YouTube.

Not anywhere near as much as I’d have liked. I really struggled to get going today. I’ve been working on a Penal Earth spin off story, but I’m getting frustrated with world building details. So I’m thinking I need to get more details written down, and some sketches done so I’ve got something set in stone. The details I need I can put down by doing a map of the area the Penal Earth stories (so far) take place in. So tomorrow I’m going to start sketching.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. My Dad and I have a few bits and pieces to do around the house and I’ve got a little shopping to do. So I’ll likely be working in the afternoon. I’m going to do that sketch and then I’m going to start putting my notes into Black Blood and work on getting this draft done by the end of the month.

Despite not getting as much done as I’d have liked I’ve had a good day. Went for a walk with a friend, which reminded me of how out of shape I am! but it was good hanging out with her and getting out in the fresh air. I am missing my friends, and it was good to see one. We did do it respecting social distancing, but you know what, if we’re all sensible and follow the guidelines we’ll be able to start hanging out with each other a lot more.

Darnley Mausoleum

Right, I’m going to go and get the dishes done! Then I’m going to read for a little while. I’ve left intersections with friends who I know will be up early tomorrow to blow my phone up until I’m not just awake, but out of bed!

A time-lapse of me writing, and obviously Raven had to make a cameo!