Good Morning 14th April, 2021 (Make Art Uncomfortable)

Hey folks, how are we all doing today?

Yesterday I wrote 336 words on a short story but also did a lot of research for the same short story, and I’ve come to the decision that I’m just gonna go balls to the walls and yet loose. I’m not going to worry about grounding it in reality. I’m just gonna try and make it batshit crazy.

I’m having trouble letting go when I write recently. Stephen King said in On Writing that you have to write like an orphan, or words to that effect. I was reminded of this when watching the film M.F.A. recently. At the end of the film there’s a line where it basically says art shouldn’t just preserve the beauty of life, but also the brutality. Make art uncomfortable. I love this message. So many of us grow up listening to music about good love, or films where everyone lives happily ever after.

Art is different for everyone. Some people thrive on the uncomfortable while others thrive on a good old romcom. Everyone is different and we embrace different things. For me, what I write, people will find uncomfortable. But some will find it fun. I can watch Saw movies with barely a flinch at the content, but watched The VVitch and The Ritual, made me squirm in my seat. But there are different degrees of being uncomfortable. Listening to the audiobooks of The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum and What Good Girls Do by Jonathan Butcher made me very uncomfortable. Even to the point where I had to stop listening to them. M.F.A. falls into that grouping. Although not as extreme as I Spit On Your Grave, it’s still a content matter that is not pleasant and when done wrong, without the respect the topic deserves it just makes a whole other level of horrific.

For films like The Vvitch and The Ritual, these made me uncomfortable because there’s a witchcraft/cult elements to them. An unknown factor that made me uncomfortable in a way I’d yet to experience. It’s something I’m still trying to put my finger on exactly why I find it uncomfortable.

Another book that made me uncomfortable is The Silence by Tim Lebbon. This one I had to stop listening to three times. It’s got a quiet brutality to it, one which I can see happening. There’s three distinct moments in The Silence which I could see myself being in that situation. Having to make an uncomfortable decision.

Not being scared to write things which people will be uncomfortable with or offended by is something I need to be better with. I’m not going to write something just because it’s shocking. I don’t think that works and people tend to see through things like that. I’ll strive to write what the story is asking for.

Right, speaking of writing it’s time to get a few hours done.

Rock on folks, never give up on that dream. Never let someone take it away or belittle it or you. Just keep going.

11th April 2021 (Draft Done!)

This draft of Black Blood is DONE!!!!!! 1711 words its taken, and yes a ton of editing later on but it’s a completed draft!

I’ve also got my next weeks writing mapped out. So, happy writer here!

Onto the next project!

29th of March 2021

Goooooooooooooooooooooood Morning, Internet! (channeling Robin Williams right there).

How are we all doing today? My week of crappy sleep continued into last night, but despite that I’m okay! I have a purring Dizzy on my lap, a cup of tea, and a few hours at work to think this pm and then a day off tomorrow! Oh yeah!

I thought this last week had been crap writing wise. I feel like I’d not got anywhere with it, but when I look at my numbers I can see it wasn’t. I’ve had productive days, even if they’re only a few words written and nothing edited I can look at what I worked on those days and its set me up so I’m thinking through what I’ve written and where to go with the story the next time I work on it.

I thought I hadn’t hit many targets this month. Word count is definitely one I haven’t hit, but as I look at my board I can see that I’ve not only hit three of the six goals, I’ve surpassed them. I need to get my head out of the word count is the only goal that matters, it doesn’t. I know I can write 200k plus words a year, what I don’t know is if I can produce a finished story. Yes, I’ve had stories published but I need something where I’m standing on my own two feet. That’s what the zombie book is going to be. Me, out there on my own. No other writers to be amongst, just my words. Yeah, scary. But I’m not scared of the world anymore, yeah I might have a moment where I reach out to my closets friends and have them shout at me to hit that big ‘ol PUBLISH button, but it will be published.

Not taking today, but sums up Dizzy this morning ☺️

Right Folks, I’ve got to be at work soon. Today I likely won’t get anything written, but the gears are always turning.

A Little Ramble (24/3/21)

I’ve got no idea what I want to blog about, I just had the urge to have a little ramble .

Firstly, it really freaks me out when I get a message request on FB from someone using a nickname I had a few years ago. Very few people know me by that now, and those people are very close to me. Part of my inner circle. So when a spammer uses it, it’s an immediate ‘fuck no’. Also, not for nothing, I’m not German. Sending me a message in German is even more likely to get no response at all. To be fair I don’t reply to message requests anyway, but that’s just gonna make me less likely to acknowledge you.

I’ve also had a shit load of people adding me on Facebook (hi folks!) I don’t mind this, the more the merrier, but please don’t immediately send me the link to your page or group, same goes if I sent you a request. At least let’s have a conversation first!

Okay, so those were a little ranty, here’s something good. I got mentioned in a review recently! Not going to say by who or where, but needless to say it made me smile. As did a friend responding to my story, The Wank Diaries, which is in the Corona-nation St anthology from Burdizzo Books. This story is one of my most personal and hearing someone, especially someone who I consider a dear friend saying positive things about it puts a smile on my face. Both of these help to reinforce that I can write, and it’s super humbling to know people are enjoying my word wrangling.

Spot Raven!

Even though I’ve had my attention focused on personal matters that take priority, I am still thinking about writing. But not the actual writing but the business side of things. If all goes to plan my first novella will be out this year, which means I’ll need to do something to promote it. Only a couple of ideas, and hopefully I’ll have the confidence to try them and then use them when the time comes.

Okay, enough rambling! I need sleep. So good night folks!

Be kind, you don’t know how that little bit of kindness may help someone out.

Good Morning, 17th March 2021 (2)

That is 695 words written this morning, and one character killed off!

It was a pretty straight forward session this morning. I managed to get rolling quite well, despite kitty interference, and the next scene my characters will really get thrown in at the deep end.

I’d like to be able to channel some of the bleakness I put into a story late last year, but where I’ve got through that part of my life I don’t seem to be able to draw from it at the moment. Obviously I don’t want to return to living with the sense of desolation I had back then, I work each day to prevent that. But I wrote some good pieces then and I think this story would work well with some of that vibe added to it. That said though, would it work for this story? This story has never had that depth of emotion to it, so it may screw up the vibe it has now.

But anyway! I’m at work and will be starting shortly. I always have a productive day at my day job when I’ve been able to get some words wrangled beforehand.

2nd of March 2021

Hey folks!

596 today on the vampire book, but I also deleted 2466 words today. Before I deleted those words the overall word count was 48,800 words. At this rate I think this book will end up about 70,000 words. There’s a lot of story to go, but I can see the ending in sight.

I’ve got another late shift tomorrow, and where I’ve left this story today I will be getting stuck into a chunk where we discover a lot and there’s some good friction to it as well. I’m looking forward to getting stuck into that tomorrow! I’m hoping it’ll flow like the scenes I wrote yesterday. What I did today was more connecting the last scene and the next one together. It’s not a bridging scene as it opens up the next section of the story, it’s a small but key part of the mystery of a couple of characters deaths. But the next scene will be, hopefully, page turning!

Right, time to grab something to eat and then get ready for work! Rock on folks!

Goofing around 🤪

Good Afternoon, 1st of March 2021

Howdy folks! I hope everyone’s day is going well?

I managed to get 1236 words written this morning, which is more then I was expecting. When I wrote my post this morning the thought of hitting even 500 words felt like a pipe dream, but I got some fluids and a little food into me and fought through the initial feeling of “let me go back to be!!!!!!” and cracked on. I’ve often said, I am the only person holding me back. That is absolutely true, that is something which I am working hard to overcome.

One thing that helped with this mornings words was that I was rewriting a scene that I knew I liked from the original drafts and I like how I’ve rewritten it. I’ll admit, it was originally very judgemental of one character, I suppose to a degree it was very cliched as well. I didn’t want to demonise this character for the lifestyle they had. It’s one that is their choice and although there is an element of scope to judge part of this characters lifestyle, I hope I’ve demonstrated some of the hypocrisy of other characters in the scene. I’m sure when I sent it to my beta readers, and my editor that all three will be more than happy to correct me if I’ve fucked it up!

Right, time to get ready for work! I hope everyone is having a good day!

2020 Numbers

Originally posted on Buy Me A Coffee.

Last year was a mixed year for pretty much all of I would say. I’m no different. It was both the best and worst year of my life, from an amazing high to a low I didn’t know existed. If you’re a reader of my blog at petergermany.com you’ll know I’m not going to go into details on those moments. I talk about them because they did have an impact of writing. As you will see from the words I wrote and edited last year.

So, let’s get down to business:

  • January – 9011 words written
  • February – 11171 words written
  • March – 5691 words written
  • April – 562 words written
  • May – 1454 words written
  • June – 517 words written
  • July – 4524 words written, 39962 words edited
  • August – 14641 words written, 55323 words edited
  • September – 20471 words written, 7495 words edited
  • October – 15773 words written
  • November – 50615 words written (NaNoWriMo)
  • December – 13698 words written, 4477 words edited
  • Totals – 148128 words written, 107257 words edited

I only started tracking the words I edit in July which is why there are no numbers for them before that.

I was also published in three anthologies:

  • Corona-Nation Street from Burdizzo Books
  • Beneath The Leaves from Burdizzo Books
  • It Came From The Darkness from Red Cape Publishing and Phillip Rogers

I am so proud of these stories. My story in Corona-Nation Street, The Wank Diaries, had been written with this anthology in mind but I didn’t like the ending and with everything in life I’d forgotten about it until I’d seen a reminder pop up about it. So I rewrote the ending, which totally changed the tone of the story and I bled into it a lot. In hindsight maybe a little too much, now that I think back to it. But what it adds to the story I think gives it an impact that wasn’t there before.

The other two anthologies are ones I was invited into, with my story in Beneath The Leaves written long before life took a hard turn. My drabble in It Came From The Darkness was easy to write, almost impossible to get it down to the required 100 words!

Looking back now I’ve got the numbers right there, yeah, I’m incredibly happy with how much I achieved as a writer in 2020. There was a moment late in 2019 that I quit, then during the darkest moments of 2020 I didn’t make a decision but writing wasn’t going to be something I ever did again. When I started pulling myself clear of the dark hole I’d slipped into the words started coming again. I remember when I started blogging again last year, I talked about how I was struggling to get the words out again. The Wank Diaries got me going again. There was a deadline and I got it done in time.

That story got me back to doing what I needed to be doing, writing. Many things have helped me to get to the good place I’m in now, but that was a very distinct moment. Writing to me isn’t just a career. It’s part of my soul. Written into my DNA at the most primal level, and I’m never going to stop.

24th February 2021 (2)

Hey folks! Only about 400 words this morning. I had a few non-writing matters to see to, and I had a morning where I’m reminded of how good I can be at procrastination!

I have left the vampire story (that I’m still working on!) in a good place for when I look at it tomorrow.

I’m off work tomorrow but have a garden to start sorting out so I won’t be doing a lot of writing, but there will be time for word wrangling.

Right, off to work in a bit, have an awesome day folks!

I still love this poster from last years NaNoWriMo. I’ve got it above my desk so I just have to look up and get a touch of inspiration ☺️

Good Morning, 24th February 2021

Hey folks, how are we all doing today?

I’m not feeling as energised as I have been, and I’m writing this much later than yesterday for example. Something I do when I’m at work when customers ask me how I am I’d say ‘I’m good thanks, I’m always good me,’ It gets some laughs and it generally is true. Even when I’m feeling down I’ll try and snap myself out of it, because it doesn’t help anybody. I know it’s easier said than done. If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know I was finding things very difficult last summer, and it’s been a journey and a half to get to where I am now, and its a journey that will never have a destination. Because I learn and grow with each day, each challenge. I’m not letting myself hold me back any longer.

We have the potential to be great. Both on an individual level and as a species. Now, with the state of humanity in this day and age I think it’s going to be difficult for us to achieve that greatness, but as individuals. There’s nothing stopping us. Even when we get knocked down, we get up, and brush ourselves off.

On a recent episode of the Mando Method Armand Rosamilia said about me that I’m always moving forward, even when I’m taking steps back I’m moving forward. That’s what we all need to be trying to do. If we have to take a few steps back, its not a defeat, its a way of moving forward because we might not be quite ready for that next step. It’s like the timing of a pass in a football game. If you play it too early the recipient might not be in a prime position to take a shot. Sometimes stepping back is about being patient.

Right, I’m going to get a little writing/editing done before the day job. I hope you all have a great day, folks!