Sometimes I Sit….

Sometimes I sit to write a blog post which isn’t my normal journal entry style that I tend to do. I like to give a little more once in a while, and I’m trying to get better at expressing my opinions. But more often than not I’m sitting looking at a blank screen while I wait for a subject, or even just s few words, to grab me. This post is a prime example. I had a good few minutes of thinking ‘fuck, I’ve got nothing’ but that also happens when I’m writing as well. I’ll look at that blank screen and my mind goes blank.

It’s both bizarre and frustrating at the same time. I know I’ve got the words there but so often they just do not want to play ball. This is where being in a good state of mind helps. If I’m feeling pretty good about myself then I can normally get rolling nicely. It’s when I’m having a bad head day that I struggle.

Thankfully those days and moments are few and far between now. I’ve got enough I can work on that it one idea is flowing well I can dive into another, and I’m finding that brainstorming is really beginning to help when I’ve got nothing coming out when I’m trying to write.

This doesn’t always work, sometimes it’s editing that I can get stuck into, other times nothing helps. But the key is I’m finding more ways to be productive when I’m not able to write.

Good Morning, Monday, 7th June 2021

Howdy folks! How are we all doing this morning?

Yesterday after work I didn’t do any word wrangling but I did get my goals for June written down, my next week schedule sorted, and a couple of posts done on my Buy Me A Coffee page. I did brainstorm while on my break at work, and made a compute of notes for other projects when I got home.

At the moment I’ve got a few bits and pieces going on behind the scenes so my focus has been on those a little, but what’s going on there will be of great help going forward.

I’ve got my first Covid jab today, so I’m not planning much after that just in case it wipes me out. I’ve heard people have had differing reactions so I’m just going to wait and see if I have one or any at all.

Something I really need to do is find more places to submit work too. That is something I’ve severely failed at this year and I need to step it up.

Right, time for a little breakfast and then I’m going to get some words written before I have to leave.

Have an awesome day, Folks!

Last nights movie. Loved this in my teens and it stands up well ☺️

Good Morning, 24th 2021

Hey folks, been a busy couple of weeks, so little writing but lots of brainstorming. I’ve got four or five projects that I’m beginning to get a really good idea of what I want to do with them. I also re-edited my kidnapping story, despite the date for its anthology submission being long past, I can submit it elsewhere or self-publish it (I have plans).

I am very stuck on Black Blood at the moment. I’ve been trying to write a sequence which is vital to the story and I’m not feeling it. Maybe I need to think it out a little more, I don’t know, but at the moment it’s just not clicking. I think I’ve got a good basis for it, that it’ll work, but I’ve just got to suss it out. I honestly don’t think I’m far away from it, I think I just need one little element to slot into place and then it’ll come together.

I will also be looking at the two short stories I’ve been working on that take place in the Penal Earth world. One of them I think I’ve got a good core for the story, whereas the other one is a lot more bare bones and I haven’t found the real story to it yet. I don’t think I’m far off, it’s tickling the periphery of my conscious but it isn’t revealing itself just yet. I’m going to read what I’ve written of these two and then brainstorm.

I’ve not done this sort of brainstorming for years, and I’m really enjoying it.

Right, I’m off. I hope y’all have a fantastic day and week ahead.

Dizzy enjoying the sun and watching the world go by ☺️

7th of May 2021

Good morning, folks!

How are we all doing today? I overlaid and instead of having three and half hours to write, I had an hour and a half. I managed 698 words in that time, which I’m happy about. I’m liking focussing just on this part of the story. It’s making it feel a lot less intimidating than addressing the whole story. It’s nice being able to scroll up and add and adjust elements to the sequence as I’m writing, it’s just a lot easier to navigate. Scrivener does a good job of making it easy as a rule, but I’ve got to get better at organising and remembering what is where.

Although I haven’t written much this month I’ve been doing a lot of brainstorming. As of this moment I’ve got four different stories that I’ve thrashing ideas out on. This feels a little excessive, but these four stories are the ones taking to me, so they’re the ones that are getting a little bit of time here and there.

Right, I’m out of time. So I’m gonna wrap it here.

I hope y’all are all doing well and keep pushing towards your goals!

Note books and The Running Man

10th of April 2021 (2)

Hey folks! Although I didn’t wrap up this draft of Black Blood I did add another 1500 or so words to the 500+ that I wrote this morning for a total of 2110 words for the day. Hopefully come tomorrow I’ll be able to wrap this sod up! I am so ready to be done with this draft.

Once it’s done I can move onto the next stage of Penal Earth, which will be a digital read through. I’m tempted to change things a little with my process and do two read throughs. Do the first one where I’ll make the changes as I go, and then a few weeks later go through it again to see what else I pick up. I’ll still do a red pen edit because I find an out loud read always finds bits and pieces that other edit passes don’t.

I had to get into proper game mode today!

With Penal Earth, I’m going to submit it to publishers. I’ve got my dream ones I’ll send it to first and see how well I do. I’m not expecting to get it accepted, and I can always self pub it if it doesn’t, but it’s not going to hurt to send it out to editors and smaller presses that I respect. That’s why I’m determined to do a good job with it. The zombie will be my first step into putting my work out there, and it has to be good. But Penal Earth is a full length novel that is part one of a trilogy. Now, part of me thinks I should just get something written which is a one and done, but with a few threads that I could pick up if it does well, but Penal Earth I’ve got a lot of confidence in, and if it doesn’t do well I can always self pub the rest of the trilogy when the rights revert to me or I manage to work it so I can publish them sooner. That’s a bridge I’ll cross when the time comes though.

Right, seeing is I’ve exhausted my creative wells today I’m going to watched sitcoms and tidy up before dinner.

Have a super day, folks!

I finished First and Only the other day, so now onto book two of the Gaunts Ghosts series, Ghostmaker.

27th February 2021

I’ve started editing 7843 words and written 1181, but also deleted about 3000 words. This means I’ve moved onto the next story in the vampire book and boy is there a lot of changes to make. I’ve got a feeling this will be more rewrite than edit, but we’ll see how it goes.

I’m just about to get ready for work, and despite feeling dead tired I’m feeling good. It always helps getting words wrangled early on in the day. I get to work and I’m energised (despite the fatigue), because I’ve already accomplished something. I’ll take a notebook with me to try and do a little during my break but I’m not expecting to get more done today. I’m trying to push harder, get more done, but until I sit down and look back at the month I’m not going to judge it too much. I can’t guilt trip myself on days like yesterday when I didn’t write. I need to get in the habit of looking what I’ve done over the month and then set myself a target for the next month to try and better that.

Right, I’m off to get my butt into gear. I hope you all have a lovely weekend, and be kind and good. It makes a difference even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Good Morning, 25th February 2021

Good morning, folks!

How are we all doing this morning?

I have edited 4196 words this morning and just printed off the draft of that short story ready for my pen and paper edit where I will be reading it out loud. This is the story for an anthology that I love the sound of and I really hope the publisher likes it.

Love it! This draft ended dead on 4000 words 😁

I’m not going to get much else done today. Once I’ve written this post I’m going to go out and make a start on sorting the garden out with my folks, and then after that I’m going to put me feet up for a few hours. I have an early start tomorrow, so I’d like to get a good nights sleep before hand.

Yesterday I got to work early as I needed to do a bit of shopping and thankfully the queues weren’t long so I had a nice twenty minutes to kill before work. So I made some notes on a short story that I wrote a long time ago that I’d like to expand into an novella. I’m getting some good thoughts on this one. I’ve not reread it yet, I want to make as many notes as I can before looking back through it. I’m liking this as I’m hoping it’ll give me an insight to the story I think I’ve written and I’ll see how my memory serves when I start reading it properly.

Right, time to get dressed and get started on the garden. I am out of shape and this will likely point out just how unfit I!

Have a great day, folks!

Good Evening, 17th February 2021

Hey folks, I’ve written 1231 words today on the vampire book and added some notes to Black Blood character files before I felt wiped out and decided on a nap.

After the nap I was going to do a little more but due to a car issue I took my parents to get their vaccine jabs. I made a few notes while I was waiting for them.

I did finish the episode of the vampire book I’ve been working on. The next one has me scratching my head a little, I’m not really sure how I’m going to tell the story I want to tell. I’m going to think it over a little and see what I can think out. I like this story, but it definitely needs rewriting and bringing onto track with how I want the story to be.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been struggling a little with my mental health. Nothing drastic, but enough to make me notice it. I’m taking steps, using what I’ve learnt from the help I’ve received to get back on track. Getting up early is part of that. The last two days I’ve been up around 8am and writing by 9am. Tomorrow I’m going to get up at about 7am and get cracking again before work. It worked well for me on Tuesday, and has worked well in the past. I get a good start to the day and I have a good day.

I feel like I’m on the right path again. Being productive helps, especially first thing of a morning. It means I’ve achieved something already that day.

A selfie a day keeps the black dog away…

Mental health is something that is still stigmatised. It’s still a dirty subject that people don’t want to hear about. I’m lucky, I’ve got loved ones who will listen when I need them. I’ve gotten great help, but I will fall at times. It’s how quickly I get back I that matters.

My favourite pen, a Parker Cartridge one, that I manage to misplace at least three times a week, but only ever for a few moments 🤣

I do have social media pages linked on the side of my blog, please consider following and liking me on any that you are on.

Good Evening, Folks! 15-2-21

I’ve not done a whole lot of writing these last few days. A couple of manic days at work takes its toll, but I am trying to make the most of my breaks and do a little writing work while on them. The last two days for example I’ve worked on notes for a mermaid story rewrite that I’m planning, and already got more depth for two characters in it.

Lunchtime notes 🙂

Aside from yesterday I’ve written everyday since the 10th. I’m pleased with that, even if the word counts weren’t high I still worked (partly editing as well on the story the words got added to).

I won’t get a lot done tonight as I pulled a few extra hours at work but due to shift changes I might have a bit more time tomorrow than I was expecting to get some work done.

I really need to touch base with the projects I’m working on at the moment. I’ve lost momentum (mainly my fault), which means I feel a little lost. I don’t think I’m miles away from where I was, it may just be a case of sitting down and looking over what I’ve got. So that’s something I’d like to get done before Wednesday (my next day off), so I’m able to get stuck in and have a productive day.

One of my favourite shorts of the last few years. I really hope they get funding to make a complete season 🙂

Something I’m going to try and do from here on out is watch more horror movies. I came to horror late, and there’s a lot I haven’t seen. So I’m going to start checking movies off and get into the depth of the genre I’m in. There’s countless books I want to read as well, but that’s a task which might be beyond me. I’m far too slow a reader to read it all.

Right, I’m going to get a little work done. I’m not planning on getting a lot done tonight. Just a bit to keep my momentum rolling. I am a little stuck with the story I’m working on, but there are other things I can work on if I don’t make progress with it tonight.

Lesbian Bed Death are one of my favourite bands to listen to in general as well as writing music.

11th February 2021

Yesterday I started the day off well. I got up early and got work done. I took a member of my household to the dentist and while they were in there I did some scouting in Gravesend town centre, in particular the Civic Centre (see video for more). Once I got home though, I took a mental health hit.

Something small triggered it, something that I see often but yesterday was the first time it knocked me like it did. I didn’t hit rock bottom, but I did fall somewhat. This made it hard to sleep, I think I had maybe two hours altogether. Maybe three at the most, and most of that was today. I was up at 8am like I planned, like I was yesterday but I knew I had to get my head back down. I finally got up at about 10ish and have felt that lack of sleep all day. I’ve tried to nap this afternoon but with no joy. So I’m going to work for a little while, not long, maybe an hour, and then a bath and reading after dinner. Try to relax into sleep.

On the plus side I did get some writing done last night. A little bit on the vampire era, and the part of it I was working on struck me that it might be a part where people may assume that I’m taking from real life experiences a little too literal. I do bleed into my work. I take what I’ve experienced and put it into characters, but how I think I do it is I put the dark moments I’ve had into the stories, but not the situations. I may get close with the odd one but I’ve not got the urge to turn my life into literature, not 100%.

My story ‘The Wank Diaries’ was one I bled into a lot. When I rewrote the ending after I was trying to get myself back it was a totally different vibe to the original ending and changes the tone of the story.

People ourselves into in our work is something that we all do, even if it’s something that’s subconscious. A lot of the time I don’t think we can help it. Writing, for me, is a great form of therapy. I can channel my emotions into my characters and I hope it makes them more real. More relatable.

Another plus side to last nights insomnia was I did look at the Vampire Era again. It’s on my to-do list but I’ve been so preoccupied with Penal Earth and Black Blood I hadn’t got around to looking at it. I’m going to start working on it, because it’s a rewrite and it’ll allow me to write while also working on editing and building worlds. I need to make sure I can find a way to be writing as well as working on the other elements of producing content.

Which is what I’m going to do now!