3/6/22 – Flash Post

Evening folks, about 150 on a non-fiction piece today. I decided to have a light writing day.

The next couple of days are gonna be light as well, come next week I’ll be getting stuck in again.

A random selfie from last night, I’m struggling with self-esteem a lot at the moment. So trying to force my way through and get back to where I was a few weeks ago.

Good Afternoon, 31st of May 2022

Howdy, folks! How are we all doing?

Today I have edited 7408 words of Black Blood, adding 87 to the overall word count. That was a little bit of a slog but I got in done in about two hours or so.

I’ve also set up a few posts to go on my Ko-Fi page, including one flash piece which has gone live today. I was feeling a little behind with this so I got a few posts set up so I don’t have to worry about it too much for the next week or two. I do offer a membership in addition to one-time tips. Here I post an original short story each month in addition to bonus content. All for £1 a month!

Something I do want to touch on is that this month is the first that I have worked everyday in a very long time. For those of you who don’t know I have anxiety and depression, amongst a few other mental health bits and pieces, but my medications dosage was recently upped and I’m very much feeling it. Two months ago if I wasn’t feeling like working, I’d not. (when I say working here I mean writing. With the day job I haven’t missed a shift in a little over two years). At the moment I am working each day even if it’s just a few words while on my day job’s break. On days when I’m not at the day job I’m getting stuck into editing and making sure I get a decent start early in the morning and am normally done by midday. I’m making sure I have breakfast on these days and am getting a lot of little bits and pieces done that I’ve been putting off.

When I’m at the day job it’s a little different but I’ve found I’ve still been coming home (after a morning shift) and getting at least a little editing done. That’s normally in addition to writing something before work while sitting in my car, and during my break.

Max is waiting for me to finish so we can go play ball.

I’m feeling much more organised as well. I’m making notes on Black Blood on things like building a chapter to a conclusion to character motivations. I’m also listing what I’ve posted to Ko-Fi because knowing me I’d end up putting up the same story twice! I’m sure most people will be okay with a slight hiccup like that but people are giving me their money so I’m trying to be as efficient as possible.

I have had a hit to my self-esteem recently (I look hideous etc.) but I know how to rebuild that. I’ve done it, with help, recently and I know I can do it again.

Raven helping with editing this morning.

Life is moving in the right direction and I feel like I’m getting to the point where I can able do the things in life that I’ve always dreamt of.

18th of May 2022

Good Evening, folks! How are we all doing?

This morning I edited 8510 of a short story that will be posted on my Ko-Fi next month. It wasn’t something that needed a deep edit, just a once over to make sure there wasn’t anything that I’d missed and I needed to make a couple of tweaks that’ll bring it in line with something else I’m working on 😉

This is becoming Dizzy’s spot. She’s gonna be annoyed once that bits done and new flowers are planted!

After that I went out and cracked on with a job in the garden that took a fair chunk of time, I was going to do a little more writing work afterwards but I had a nap!

Raven found me taking an old shed down very interesting.

I felt a little bad for not doing more writing, but not as bad as I used to feel when this sort of thing had happened in the past. Something I’m thinking about a lot is balance. Tomorrow I’ve got an early and I know I’m not going to sleep great tonight. So the nap this afternoon will hopefully balance out any sleep I don’t get later on.

Always time to punt the ball for this great doggo

Right, you lovely people. I’m off to watch Alien Vs. Predator while I nod off. Night all!

Good Evening, 16th of May 2022

Good evening, folks. How are we all?

Today I’ve written 611 words on a short story I’ve recently started during my break and while I was waiting for something this afternoon. I was hoping to have got a good chunk of Penal Earth worked today but a few things came up that I had to see to and although I had time to write it was with pen and paper as I didn’t have access to my laptop.

I liked what I wrote though, and although I’ve got no idea where this story is going I’m enjoying the discovery aspect of it.

I spent an hour or so this afternoon after work in the garden. Partly to play ball with Max as he hasn’t had much playtime due to a lot going on the last few weeks (needless to say he loved it!) but I also needed to top up the bird feeders, do the poopa scooping; both of which I can do while still punting the football up the garden for Max to chase. I also done the cat litter, sorted the bins out for collection tomorrow, and got a load of washing done.

My Ball!

Now, I get this may not seem like much. It’s not really worth noting, everyone does these things. But considering how tired I was I could have easily just got home, let Max out and have a nap. And I feel so much better for it.

It also means once I’ve finished work tomorrow and ran a couple of errands I’ll have a nice chunk of time to get some words edited and then on Wednesday when its my day off I’ll be able to dedicate a bigger slot of time to writing.

This is a level of organisation I’ve only dreamt of for many years!

Have a great evening, folks!

13th Of May 2022

Good evening folks! How are we all doing today?

Today has been one of those “What The Hell” days. Nothing seriously drastic happened, but there was a lot of small things which were made to test the resolve. Some of the things were out of my control and I tried to laugh them off. Some of them were things that I could have averted and have learnt that lesson.

Dizzy taking refuge after a surprise attack from Raven.

Like I said, it was nothing drastic. Although the one this afternoon scuppered plans I had with a friend, and involved a little running around to get it sorted. But it was sorted and after a little GTAV and something to eat I sat down to get some work done.

Raven trying to figure out if she could get out the window (she couldn’t).

I’d written during my break this morning and added a few more words this evening to give me 319 words on that short story for the day. Then I got stuck into the edit of Penal Earth and did one chapter which was 2717 words.

I’m in the home straight of Penal Earth right now. I seem to have progressed quicker than I was expecting. Partly because the draft is all but done and I’ve been tidying parts of it up, but also because I’ve worked on it all but three days of this month, and I’ve not had a day where I haven’t written or edited at all. It’s nice having some momentum.

If you’d like to support my work then please visit my Ko-Fi page. My various social media links are on the right hand side of the screen if you’d like to follow me on those platforms.

And yours truly while writing this post 😀

Good Afternoon, 9th of May 2022

Howdy, Folks! How are we all?

Yesterday I wrote 286 words on a short story during my break and before I started work. It was a long workday and then I went out to celebrate a close friends fortieth. So little to no time to write.

Today I used my break to write 183 words on the same short story and edited 7866 in about fifty minutes this afternoon after work.

Being honest, I really wasn’t feeling it today. I’m tired after over eighteen hours of the day job in two days, yesterday of which was a non-stop day, but I told myself to do an hour. Sixty minutes. In the course of the day, that’s not a lot and I can now chill out for a little bit before thinking about something to eat. Then somewhat of an early night as I suspect tomorrows shift is going to be another busy one.

Pushing through and still getting some writing done regardless of how I’m feeling is important. With the changes I’ve made and a recent increase in my medication I feel like I’m capable of maintaining momentum I’ve built up in the past but let slip through my fingers. Obviously time will tell, there may be the need for adjustments with meds in the future but I’m going to try and make the most of it while feeling as capable as I am and hope it’s something that does last a long time.

Right, I’m off. I hope everyones week has started off well.

Good Morning, Sunday 18th April 2022

It is a gorgeous sunny day out there, and I’m at my desk because I need to get some words wrangled!

My aim for today is to do my final pass on Zombie. I’ve added in the rewritten ending and have a load of notes to work through for it and then I’ll hopefully be done with it. The notes aren’t like massive rewrites or anything like that. A lot of them are notes from my editor that’ll help build the characters and the world, and have it make more sense.

I do have a video that I need to get some more work done on and I’d love to post it today, but I’m kind of bottling it at the moment. Just that self-doubt creeping in again.

My plans for my Ko-Fi page are moving along, albeit it a little slowly. I’ve almost got the first year’s worth of content lined up. I’m just going to go simple and have it as one short story a month and then with additional bits and pieces added in as and when I can. I’ll be open with what I want to do when it comes to memberships, in time I’d like to change it up a bit but for now I’m going to keep it simple.

I had a little waiting around time yesterday while I picked up a prescription, so I walked down to St.Georges church and sat in it’s grounds for a little while. It was pretty nice and calming down there. (managed to find a plot hole fix as well). It was nice just listening to the world for twenty minutes, letting my soul absorb the space.

I can be very critical of my hometown. I think it’s one of many towns that is slowly dying and one of the things keeping it alive is its proximity to London. As I walked through town yesterday I couldn’t help but look at all the flats being built. Some into every nook and cranny going, while others are being rammed into old buildings. Gravesend feels like its become a bed for the workers who travel to London each day. I don’t like this. We’re not a B&B. This town has some amazing history and I’d love to see it bloom.

Now, I don’t keep track of the politics of the town, or the mechanics of administrating a town, but I’d like to see more done to build this town that has some amazing people in it. There are so many empty shops, so much litter on the streets (the street cleaners do a great job but it’s a never ending battle for them). We need to change the mentality of those who call Gravesend home.

Right, I’m off to get some words edited. You all have a lovely day.

Good Afternoon, 13th April 2022

Howdy folks!

Today I have written about 1600 words on a short story. Added the new ending to the zombie book, and done background work on Penal Earth. I’ve also spoken to a publisher about a couple of ongoing projects that unfortunately seem to be on hold at the moment, and I’m about to look up some submission calls.

I need more days like this! I easily have the time, but my own self-doubt and anxiety get in my own way. It’s not even imposter syndrome, it’s just me self-sabotaging out of fear of the unknown. I need to get out of my own way and just do it! I know I can, I know I’ve got good stuff to get out into the world. So let’s stop fucking about and do it!

Okay, rant over. I’m off to play some GTAV while I wait for a phone call.

If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, a dream you’ve had, just go for it!

Raven ‘helping’ 🤣

Good Afternoon, 25th March 2020

Hey folks, how are we all doing?

I’ve had a couple of days off from writing, which have felt good. But I got back onto it today. I’ve written 393 of an anthology submission and 497 on the zombie book. I think I’ve also solved one of the queries the editor had for a character in zombie as well.

Trying to take a selfie when there’s a Raven in the house!

I’ve not really much more to add today. I needed those couple of days off to focus on a few other things, nothing major or ground breaking. But I think it also serves to help rest the brain a little from grinding out the work. It helps to solve a few problems if you step away a little. The trick I need to learn is when I do that, not to let it stutter my momentum. I was hitting about a 1000 words a day on zombie, so I’m happy today has been almost five hundred. Tomorrow I’ll be aiming for a 1000 before heading off to work.

Right folks, have an awesome day!

My Ko-Fi Page:

Good Morning, Tuesday 22nd of March 2022

Good Morning!

I have tea, Raven is climbing over my printers while Dizzy is sitting staring at my from besides my chair. A scrap is imminent….but I’m awake. I’ve got a late shift today so I wanted to get up and get cracking early and for once it feels like I have done. There was no ‘snoozing’ of alarms. No rolling over for ‘another five minutes’ which always turned into at least another half an hour. I have an Amaranthe playlist via YouTube playing and I’m ready to get some words cracked out. I’m even dressed!

So, what’s the day got planned for me. I’d like to knock out another thousand words of zombie. I think that is very achievable. Just plug away until about midday I think and then that gives me a little time for lunch, half an hour on GTAV and a few other bits and bobs before heading off to work.

That all sounds really straight forward. It’s not. I’ll be editing as I type of the hand written draft of zombie. So I’ll be having to think on the go and I’m going to try and read the scene before I type it up so I know what point the scene is taking the story to. I am feeling quite a bit of pressure with zombie. This will be my first release and it’s got to be right. I don’t want to be that person who puts something out into the world and it’s poorly put together. Typos, spelling mistakes, bad layout, and so on. I trust my editor, she is incredibly good at what she does and I know she won’t let me embarrass myself.

They’re behaving…….for the moment……

But, I’m pushing through. I’m not letting my self-doubt stop me. I’ve had far too many months where that doubt has had me dragging my heels on writing. I know the why of this, and I’ll talk about it one day but it deserves more than a few sentences in a daily post. I know I can do this. I know it’s time to step up. And I know I keep repeating this, but that is more for myself. It’s me keeping that positivity at the forefront of my consciousness.

Self doubt, imposter syndrome, what ever you want to tag it with, is a prick. It’s a horrible feeling and one that when it takes hold it can shut me down in a heartbeat. But it will not win. It may gain ground by winning small battles but I will win the war.

Scruffy selfie!

Ko-Fi Link: