Good Evening, 27th December 2022

December 27, 2022December 27, 2022 Peter Germany Cat, Editing, Horror, Horror Writer, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Nanowrimo, Random Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing Cat, Cats, editing, Goals, Health, Horror, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, NaNo, Nanowrimo, Sleep, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Angst, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

Howdy, folks! How are we all doing? Are people having a good festive period? Mine has been pretty darn good, but it’s back to work tomorrow. Which I am looking forward to, I enjoy my day job a lot and I like the routine (if shift-work has such a thing), and as most of my shifts are early’s I tend to have the rest of the day to get stuck into what I need to.

In the week before Christmas I had very little time to focus on writing, but I did manage to squeeze writing time in. This years NaNo project is still in process and I didn’t want to go too many days without working on it. I’ve had seven days this month where I haven’t done any writing at all, and likely a few days where I haven’t worked on NaNo ’22, but I’ve not let too many days in a row where I’ve not worked on it. Something I’ve talked about a lot on here is momentum, and I think it’s something that’s very important. I’ve lost momentum before and it’s very hard to get it back. I’m worried it’s going to happen again, so I’m hoping I’ve done enough so far with this story to stop me from hitting a roadblock that stops me dead like has happened in the past.

I don’t want this year to end with a bang, and I definitely don’t want it to end with a whimper. I want it to end with a nice steady pace, similar to where I am at the moment which rolls right into 2023 and continues.

I haven’t spoken much about my mental health publicly of late, that’s simply because I’m feeling better than I have done in a long time. Okay, then I’ve ever felt. Yes, there’s a long way to go. There are still things which really eat away at me, and as I kinda tick one thing off another three crop up. But I’m working on it all. I have less bad days now then I used to and the good ones are more frequent. I don’t believe it’s one or the other. I think some days are a mix of both, while others are neither. Those are the days I have most of, but even those days tend to be more towards the positive side of life.

The biggest lesson I feel I’ve learnt of late is to get a decent amount of sleep. Life is a lot more settled when I’m more rested.

We all have that one co-worker that don’t do much 😉🤣

17th November 2022

November 17, 2022November 17, 2022 Peter Germany Cat, Editing, Health, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Nanowrimo, Writing editing, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Nanowrimo, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

We’re well past the NaNoWriMo halfway mark now, and I’m at 23246 words. So, about 5000 words behind. Quite happy about that. I feel like I’m staying in sight of the goal while still building a story. I think I’m going to end up with a lot of fragments of scenes when the month is over, but that’s a foundation to build from.

Strangely I feel like I’m stepping up a level with this one. It has a lot of moving parts and I think I’ve got a good handle on them all.

I’ve written a little differently today. I’ve knocked out about 1700 words but done it while laying on my bed with movies going in the background. Both movies are ones I’ve seen a lot and have been helpful because I can drop into them when I need a mental breather and don’t end up getting sucked into a social media blackhole. Which happens a lot when I sit at my desk and try and write after a work shift.

I also had a couple of hours between work and starting to write to relax a bit. Going straight from work to writing can sometimes prove difficult. Kind of like I’m putting too much pressure on myself, but putting that mental break in there seems to be working okay.

Right, I’m off for the night.

Be awesome, everyone!

20th October 2022

October 20, 2022October 20, 2022 Peter Germany Cat, Editing, Health, Home Office, Horror Writer, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Outlining, Planning, Writing Anxiety, Cat, Confidence, editing, Health, Horror, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Outlining, Self-Esteem, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Angst, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

Good evening, folks. How are we all doing?

I’ve had two productive days, well the whole week has been productive to be honest. Although today got off to a later start as I had shopping and some errands to run.

I am making progress with my goals for this month. I’ve typed up the short story I recently wrote and will be looking to do the next edit pass before the end of the month.

The read through of the vampire book is moving nicely. I’m finding more little errors and continuity issues than I was expecting, but nothing major.

I’ve also started digging into the planning for Penal Earth book 2. I’m hoping to have this as a major project for 2023. I’ve got a number of stories that are either ready to go (zombie and Penal Earth) or very ready to go (vampire and Black Blood), and I really want to push to get those published or submitted one way or another in the next two years.

I still need to be writing though. Yes, I’ve got those four pieces to get out into the world, but I also want to get ready for what’s going to be published after those.

This surge of productivity, I’ve had it before and it drifts away. I’m tired of letting it wonder off when it sees fit. I’m working on figuring out what causes me to loose this drive I’ve currently got. I know it’s anxiety, self-esteem. Confidence. I’m better prepared for working it all out than I’ve ever been. It’s still not always easy, and it’s something that’ll take time. But I’m getting there.

Rock on, Folks!

EGX 2022 (Thursday)

September 22, 2022September 22, 2022 Peter Germany Convention, Conventions, Gaming, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Video Games EGX, EGX 2022, Gaming, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health

Today I went to EGX with Stefan and Steph from Stefan’s Daily Gaming.

This was my third EGX, but my first at ExCel in London. The other two were at the NEC in Birmingham. So a much shorter drive this time.

The first thing you notice when you walk in is the vibe. Even while standing in the queue to get through security and get our lanyards there’s an electricity in the air. The three of us are adding to it, especially when Stefan sees some of the PlayStation Access team.

We got our lanyards, much better than having just a wristband. They’ve an advert for House Flipper 2, which Steph got rather excited about, and we went into the event room itself.

There’s a lot to take in when you first walk in. There are a few folks handing out leaflets. Cosplayers moving around, not as many as I was expecting, but it’s Thursday and I’d imagine the weekend will ramp it up a bit. There’s a lot of folks in some amazing outfits. While not cosplay there is a lot that are themed as well as those that are just awesome. There’s all the gaming setups right there and they go throughout the space. Off to the left and towards the rear quarter of the floor is the vender stores. This is where we go first.

Now, my cash flow like many of us is shite at the moment so I only had a small budget but I couple of little bits went for a Mystery bag that was £25. Now, what I got in it I wouldn’t necessarily have bought, but I’m really happy with what was in there and it was definitely worth the money I paid for it.

I find I really enjoy looking around the vendors. As it’s a gaming convention most of them are gaming related in one way or another. There was a lot of anime as well, and strangely enough I noticed a lot of vendors selling pop culture themed swords at this con.

There’s a lot of people selling artwork based on video games and pop culture in general. Some of it I found mind blowing. The skill that goes into producing these pieces is amazing and I could have spent quite a chunk of money on those alone. There was a couple of DOOM ones that really caught my eye.

We explored the retro gaming section. This got the nostalgia going big time. The one that really got me was one called Dizzy Egg. Now I can’t remember if this was the exact game me and my brother had on the Sinclair Spectrum ZX as the one I saw today was on a different system. But I had a quick go, and died like four times! But it brought a big smile to my face.

I saw StarFox, Micro Machines, Halo 2, various Super Mario Brothers and Sonic The Hedgehog games. There was a few Batman ones, one of which Stefan dived into (he’s a big Batman fan) and so many more. Aside from Dizzy Egg I didn’t really play any as others were playing them while I was circulating, and honestly my anxiety was rising.

Steph did wait to play House Flipper 2 and she spoke to one of the developers of the game. I’d imagine seeing people queueing up to play and talk of how much they love the game you’ve worked your arse off must be good.

Now, my anxieties did get to me a little but not like they would have done before. I didn’t have to take a moment and regulate my nerves at any point, although a couple of times I did feel a little overwhelmed.

It was such a good day though. I was with two of my dearest friends, and seeing how much they loved it as well made the day even better.

Good Morning, 8th Of September 2022

September 8, 2022September 8, 2022 Peter Germany Editing, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Writing editing, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Sleep, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

Howdy, folks! How are we all doing?

Yesterday I edited 10503 words and wrote 141 words. I did the 141 while waiting for my car to be MOT’d, trying to make some use of time that is presented to me. The 10k of edited had kind of burnt my brain out though, so although I got some words down I’d like to have got closer to that 200 words in that time period.

Pictures from yesterday as my car was in the garage.

This morning I’ve edited 6149 words and was going to start on the next episode but if I do that then I’ll not get any housekeeping done afterwards. I’ve got a number of little bits and pieces that although not urgent, do need doing.

I got up an hour and a half earlier than I was planning to, so I’m ahead of where I was expecting to be by this time. I’m trying to remap my sleep patterns, and a big part of that is getting to bed earlier. My day job tends to have a 6am start time so I’d like to get to the point where I’m getting more sleep in general at night and not have to rely on naps to keep my energy levels high. I also want to be getting better sleep. Although last night was a little interrupted a few times it did feel like a decent nights sleep.

Having a decent nights sleep helps with mental health as well. Lack of sleep, for me at least, is a big reason why I can be more susceptible to feeling down. When I’ve got a decent amount of sleep I also feel a lot more productive and able to work in the manner I want to.

I’m going to be working for another hour or so, and I’d like to get a bit more editing done as well. Let’s see how much my brain can take before it checks out for the day!

Still Struggling With Writing (and a big ol’ rant).

August 23, 2022August 23, 2022 Peter Germany Editing, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Writing editing, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

So, I’m still struggling to get my arse in the chair and get some writing done. I did write a little before work and during my break yesterday, which was a start, but I still feel like I’m slacking off.

The why of that is a mystery. I think it may be a side effect of mental health. I was a little down recently and when I get like that writing tends to be put on hold, but I can normally get back into the flow pretty easily.

Away from writing, life is good. There are some big changes coming at work, but nothing that I don’t think will have a negative effect at work or on myself.

There is a lot going on in the world though. We’ve got Ukraine, Covid, Brexit here in the UK. Raising cost of living, rise of Nazism (I refuse to call them white supremacist. They’re nazis. Simple as that).

Here in the UK we’ve got a parliament that is in disarray. Our Prime Minister had to resign and feels like he’d already checked out before his successor has been chosen (not by the population of the UK but by the Conservative membership by the way). The two people who are the candidates to succeed him are both not very inspiring and honestly, much of the same. The opposition party is weak. So we’ve got a weak government (that is allowing raw sewage to be pumped into our rivers and seas) and a weak opposition. That’s not good for this country. Which feels more like corporations are being allowed to dictate policy when it should be the government telling corporations what they can and can’t do and if the corporations don’t like it, they can fuck off!

Okay, rant over.

In regards to writing and my lack of, everything above is just bollocks! It’s all just bullshit fucking excuses that I’m using to justify my lack of work. And bullshit is what it is. Everything above should not stop me from writing. When I’m down, use those emotions in my writing (writing also makes me feel good about myself, so why wouldn’t I do it?). The state the planet is in, the shitshow that is Westminster at the moment, vent that frustration into fiction. Or even a blogpost like this.

I’ve spent most of my life hiding from the world. Hiding who I am, what I think, feel and so on. Suppressing my own fucking voice!

Have

Voice!

I need to use it. I need to put it into fiction, I need to stand up for what I believe in. (For the record, if i have a racist, sexist, just generally horrible nasty cunt of a character in fiction; that’s not my voice. That’s me creating a character who is FUCKING what is wrong with so much of this world).

Okay, I’m going to shut up now and do some writing work.

Be true to who you are. Even when it’s hard, thats when we have to be strong and stand our ground.

30th June 2022

June 30, 2022June 30, 2022 Peter Germany Editing, Horror, Horror Writer, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Writing editing, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Selfie, short fiction, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

Good afternoon folks, I hope we’re all well?

Today I’ve edited 3779 on Black Blood, 238 on a flash piece called Watermelon, and 171 on another flash story called Roommate Wanted. Roommate Wanted is now live on my Ko-Fi for all supporters.

I’ve been a little burnt out this last week or so, which means I haven’t written much. So I’m playing a little catchup with things like Ko-Fi and where I want to be with Black Blood. I think I might have to print Black Blood off before I go into the next stage. I’m working through the notes I made on my last pass and have a lot of work to get it where it needs to be. It’s been A slow start but I’ll build my momentum slowly and get back on target.

That’s my writing day done, I’m going to go and start unwinding a bit before an early night as I’ve got an early tomorrow.

Rock on folks!

20th June 2022

June 20, 2022June 20, 2022 Peter Germany Editing, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Writing editing, Herne Bay, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Kent Coast, Kent Life, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Seaside, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

Good evening folks. Not much to report from the last few days. I’ve been writing dribs and drabs here and there. Tomorrow I’m aiming to get stuck into the next pass through on Black Blood.

I have been working on a piece about my lack of confidence but I feel like I’ve crashed and burned with it. I feel a little like I went off in about a dozen different directions with it. I might give it a little time and see how it settles.

On Friday I went canoeing with my brother and his partner. We went to Herne Bay and stayed in a patch of water protected from the sea by a break water. We’ve been tried to do this last year but were rained off. To say I stepped out of my comfort zone is an understatement, but I stayed out for about ten minutes or so and I did enjoy it despite the anxieties it was stirring up. I didn’t go out again, instead sat and wrote my thoughts down and chatted with my brother and his partner.

Despite the slapped looking face I was enjoying myself

I love the coast and want to get down there more often. Maybe not hopping in an inflatable canoe that often but getting down and enjoying the sea air is going to be good for the soul.

Right, I’m off to watch a movie and then bed. Have an awesome one, folks!

16th June 2022

June 16, 2022June 16, 2022 Peter Germany Cat, Health, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Writing Cat, Cats, editing, Indie Writer, Indie Writers, Life, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Word counts, Writer, Writer Life, Writers, Writers Community, Writers Journal, Writers Life, Writing, Writing Community, Writing Journal, Writing Life

Howdy folks, It’s the first really blistering warm day of the year here in the UK. So obviously I’ve spent a fair chunk of it at my desk. I did spend about four hours in the garden sorting something out, and have now got a sunburnt bald spot. Lovely.

But writing wise, I’ve written 2356 words on a non-fiction piece that I needed to type up, and it’s done now. This is one of those pieces that is acting a little about self-therapy. Analysing elements of life while I try and figure myself out better. This one was about the car trade of which I spent nineteen and a half years in. I’d love to publish it, but I think I’ll hold off for a while, if ever. It’s something I’ll have to see how I feel with it.

I’ve also done one of these on confidence, well my lack of confidence. That’ll be typed up next. Before that though I’m going to start working through Black Blood again. I’ve got a lot of notes that need to be transferred into it, and hopefully this’ll be my second to last post before sending it off to beta readers.