Good Morning, 31st of May 2021

I wrote 1600 words yesterday and have kind of finished off the sequence of Black Blood I’ve been working on. I still think I need to do more with it, and well just make it stronger with more impact. I’m pretty sure I’m capable of that, but I want to put it down for maybe a month or so and then look at the story as a whole and start editing it again from scratch.

For the next few days I’m going to be working on a couple of stories connected to my Penal Earth universe. Of the two that I’ve got started, one is nearly a full story while the second one is more at the concept stage. The second one really does need a lot of work. I’ve got an idea for the setting, but not an actual story for it yet. I’ve got a few ideas but nothing has settle hard for it.

Right, I’m going to make a start on one of those stories.

Have an awesome day, folks!

Dizzy is purring away ☺️

Good Afternoon, 16th April 2021

Gooooooooood afternoon, folks! How are we all doing?

Yesterday I edited 10379 words on Penal Earth, and today I’ve got 9728 words edited.

I was going to hold off till next month to start on this edit and focus on three unfinished short stories the rest of this month, but when I started struggling to write I knew I had to do something to get myself back on track. I made a small start on Wednesday with 563 words edited. If I can do 10k or so a day, I’ll be done a week today. I’m not gonna bust my guts to get it done by then, I’m going to aim to have it done by the end of the month.

I did get in a situation where I was stuck on what to write. I couldn’t get my head around any of the three short stories that I wanted to work on and the story that is talking to me I’m not sure if I’m ready to work on it yet. I don’t want to just dive in and hope it works out, I think I’ve got a decent tale to tell in a setting that I think is going to be one I can play in for a few stories. So I want to think things out a little more before I just dive in.

Right, I’m going to wrap it up there. Good day’s process. I’m working a lot of making changes in my life so I’m happier in myself, and I think the changes are going to be a good start in moving forward.

Have a good one, folks!

Good Morning 14th April, 2021 (Make Art Uncomfortable)

Hey folks, how are we all doing today?

Yesterday I wrote 336 words on a short story but also did a lot of research for the same short story, and I’ve come to the decision that I’m just gonna go balls to the walls and yet loose. I’m not going to worry about grounding it in reality. I’m just gonna try and make it batshit crazy.

I’m having trouble letting go when I write recently. Stephen King said in On Writing that you have to write like an orphan, or words to that effect. I was reminded of this when watching the film M.F.A. recently. At the end of the film there’s a line where it basically says art shouldn’t just preserve the beauty of life, but also the brutality. Make art uncomfortable. I love this message. So many of us grow up listening to music about good love, or films where everyone lives happily ever after.

Art is different for everyone. Some people thrive on the uncomfortable while others thrive on a good old romcom. Everyone is different and we embrace different things. For me, what I write, people will find uncomfortable. But some will find it fun. I can watch Saw movies with barely a flinch at the content, but watched The VVitch and The Ritual, made me squirm in my seat. But there are different degrees of being uncomfortable. Listening to the audiobooks of The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum and What Good Girls Do by Jonathan Butcher made me very uncomfortable. Even to the point where I had to stop listening to them. M.F.A. falls into that grouping. Although not as extreme as I Spit On Your Grave, it’s still a content matter that is not pleasant and when done wrong, without the respect the topic deserves it just makes a whole other level of horrific.

For films like The Vvitch and The Ritual, these made me uncomfortable because there’s a witchcraft/cult elements to them. An unknown factor that made me uncomfortable in a way I’d yet to experience. It’s something I’m still trying to put my finger on exactly why I find it uncomfortable.

Another book that made me uncomfortable is The Silence by Tim Lebbon. This one I had to stop listening to three times. It’s got a quiet brutality to it, one which I can see happening. There’s three distinct moments in The Silence which I could see myself being in that situation. Having to make an uncomfortable decision.

Not being scared to write things which people will be uncomfortable with or offended by is something I need to be better with. I’m not going to write something just because it’s shocking. I don’t think that works and people tend to see through things like that. I’ll strive to write what the story is asking for.

Right, speaking of writing it’s time to get a few hours done.

Rock on folks, never give up on that dream. Never let someone take it away or belittle it or you. Just keep going.

Good Evening, 7th March 2021

Howdy folks! When I was in bed last night, not being able to sleep, I gave up trying and started writing and ended up writing 473 on a new story set in the Penal Earth universe. I haven’t read it since I wrote it, so it could suck! but who cares! everything can be fixed in edits!

I took time during my break to make some notes on the mermaid story, and it feels like I’m getting some good world building down. This story is beginning to fill out nicely, although its just occurred to me that I’ve not done too much on characters yet.

Anyway, after work I did a little work on the vampire book and added 182 words on that one while also carrying out edits. Not much, but I worked through a fair bit of what is a difficult scene.

Right, I’ve got an early start tomorrow. So I’m going to bed! Have a good one, folks!

2nd of March 2021

Hey folks!

596 today on the vampire book, but I also deleted 2466 words today. Before I deleted those words the overall word count was 48,800 words. At this rate I think this book will end up about 70,000 words. There’s a lot of story to go, but I can see the ending in sight.

I’ve got another late shift tomorrow, and where I’ve left this story today I will be getting stuck into a chunk where we discover a lot and there’s some good friction to it as well. I’m looking forward to getting stuck into that tomorrow! I’m hoping it’ll flow like the scenes I wrote yesterday. What I did today was more connecting the last scene and the next one together. It’s not a bridging scene as it opens up the next section of the story, it’s a small but key part of the mystery of a couple of characters deaths. But the next scene will be, hopefully, page turning!

Right, time to grab something to eat and then get ready for work! Rock on folks!

Goofing around 🤪

2020 Numbers

Originally posted on Buy Me A Coffee.

Last year was a mixed year for pretty much all of I would say. I’m no different. It was both the best and worst year of my life, from an amazing high to a low I didn’t know existed. If you’re a reader of my blog at petergermany.com you’ll know I’m not going to go into details on those moments. I talk about them because they did have an impact of writing. As you will see from the words I wrote and edited last year.

So, let’s get down to business:

  • January – 9011 words written
  • February – 11171 words written
  • March – 5691 words written
  • April – 562 words written
  • May – 1454 words written
  • June – 517 words written
  • July – 4524 words written, 39962 words edited
  • August – 14641 words written, 55323 words edited
  • September – 20471 words written, 7495 words edited
  • October – 15773 words written
  • November – 50615 words written (NaNoWriMo)
  • December – 13698 words written, 4477 words edited
  • Totals – 148128 words written, 107257 words edited

I only started tracking the words I edit in July which is why there are no numbers for them before that.

I was also published in three anthologies:

  • Corona-Nation Street from Burdizzo Books
  • Beneath The Leaves from Burdizzo Books
  • It Came From The Darkness from Red Cape Publishing and Phillip Rogers

I am so proud of these stories. My story in Corona-Nation Street, The Wank Diaries, had been written with this anthology in mind but I didn’t like the ending and with everything in life I’d forgotten about it until I’d seen a reminder pop up about it. So I rewrote the ending, which totally changed the tone of the story and I bled into it a lot. In hindsight maybe a little too much, now that I think back to it. But what it adds to the story I think gives it an impact that wasn’t there before.

The other two anthologies are ones I was invited into, with my story in Beneath The Leaves written long before life took a hard turn. My drabble in It Came From The Darkness was easy to write, almost impossible to get it down to the required 100 words!

Looking back now I’ve got the numbers right there, yeah, I’m incredibly happy with how much I achieved as a writer in 2020. There was a moment late in 2019 that I quit, then during the darkest moments of 2020 I didn’t make a decision but writing wasn’t going to be something I ever did again. When I started pulling myself clear of the dark hole I’d slipped into the words started coming again. I remember when I started blogging again last year, I talked about how I was struggling to get the words out again. The Wank Diaries got me going again. There was a deadline and I got it done in time.

That story got me back to doing what I needed to be doing, writing. Many things have helped me to get to the good place I’m in now, but that was a very distinct moment. Writing to me isn’t just a career. It’s part of my soul. Written into my DNA at the most primal level, and I’m never going to stop.

Good Morning, 25th February 2021

Good morning, folks!

How are we all doing this morning?

I have edited 4196 words this morning and just printed off the draft of that short story ready for my pen and paper edit where I will be reading it out loud. This is the story for an anthology that I love the sound of and I really hope the publisher likes it.

Love it! This draft ended dead on 4000 words 😁

I’m not going to get much else done today. Once I’ve written this post I’m going to go out and make a start on sorting the garden out with my folks, and then after that I’m going to put me feet up for a few hours. I have an early start tomorrow, so I’d like to get a good nights sleep before hand.

Yesterday I got to work early as I needed to do a bit of shopping and thankfully the queues weren’t long so I had a nice twenty minutes to kill before work. So I made some notes on a short story that I wrote a long time ago that I’d like to expand into an novella. I’m getting some good thoughts on this one. I’ve not reread it yet, I want to make as many notes as I can before looking back through it. I’m liking this as I’m hoping it’ll give me an insight to the story I think I’ve written and I’ll see how my memory serves when I start reading it properly.

Right, time to get dressed and get started on the garden. I am out of shape and this will likely point out just how unfit I!

Have a great day, folks!

Good Evening, 17th February 2021

Hey folks, I’ve written 1231 words today on the vampire book and added some notes to Black Blood character files before I felt wiped out and decided on a nap.

After the nap I was going to do a little more but due to a car issue I took my parents to get their vaccine jabs. I made a few notes while I was waiting for them.

I did finish the episode of the vampire book I’ve been working on. The next one has me scratching my head a little, I’m not really sure how I’m going to tell the story I want to tell. I’m going to think it over a little and see what I can think out. I like this story, but it definitely needs rewriting and bringing onto track with how I want the story to be.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been struggling a little with my mental health. Nothing drastic, but enough to make me notice it. I’m taking steps, using what I’ve learnt from the help I’ve received to get back on track. Getting up early is part of that. The last two days I’ve been up around 8am and writing by 9am. Tomorrow I’m going to get up at about 7am and get cracking again before work. It worked well for me on Tuesday, and has worked well in the past. I get a good start to the day and I have a good day.

I feel like I’m on the right path again. Being productive helps, especially first thing of a morning. It means I’ve achieved something already that day.

A selfie a day keeps the black dog away…

Mental health is something that is still stigmatised. It’s still a dirty subject that people don’t want to hear about. I’m lucky, I’ve got loved ones who will listen when I need them. I’ve gotten great help, but I will fall at times. It’s how quickly I get back I that matters.

My favourite pen, a Parker Cartridge one, that I manage to misplace at least three times a week, but only ever for a few moments 🤣

I do have social media pages linked on the side of my blog, please consider following and liking me on any that you are on.

11th February 2021

Yesterday I started the day off well. I got up early and got work done. I took a member of my household to the dentist and while they were in there I did some scouting in Gravesend town centre, in particular the Civic Centre (see video for more). Once I got home though, I took a mental health hit.

Something small triggered it, something that I see often but yesterday was the first time it knocked me like it did. I didn’t hit rock bottom, but I did fall somewhat. This made it hard to sleep, I think I had maybe two hours altogether. Maybe three at the most, and most of that was today. I was up at 8am like I planned, like I was yesterday but I knew I had to get my head back down. I finally got up at about 10ish and have felt that lack of sleep all day. I’ve tried to nap this afternoon but with no joy. So I’m going to work for a little while, not long, maybe an hour, and then a bath and reading after dinner. Try to relax into sleep.

On the plus side I did get some writing done last night. A little bit on the vampire era, and the part of it I was working on struck me that it might be a part where people may assume that I’m taking from real life experiences a little too literal. I do bleed into my work. I take what I’ve experienced and put it into characters, but how I think I do it is I put the dark moments I’ve had into the stories, but not the situations. I may get close with the odd one but I’ve not got the urge to turn my life into literature, not 100%.

My story ‘The Wank Diaries’ was one I bled into a lot. When I rewrote the ending after I was trying to get myself back it was a totally different vibe to the original ending and changes the tone of the story.

People ourselves into in our work is something that we all do, even if it’s something that’s subconscious. A lot of the time I don’t think we can help it. Writing, for me, is a great form of therapy. I can channel my emotions into my characters and I hope it makes them more real. More relatable.

Another plus side to last nights insomnia was I did look at the Vampire Era again. It’s on my to-do list but I’ve been so preoccupied with Penal Earth and Black Blood I hadn’t got around to looking at it. I’m going to start working on it, because it’s a rewrite and it’ll allow me to write while also working on editing and building worlds. I need to make sure I can find a way to be writing as well as working on the other elements of producing content.

Which is what I’m going to do now!

Good Evening, 5th February 2021

Hey folks, I got 519 words written this afternoon as well as a short vid to YouTube.

Not anywhere near as much as I’d have liked. I really struggled to get going today. I’ve been working on a Penal Earth spin off story, but I’m getting frustrated with world building details. So I’m thinking I need to get more details written down, and some sketches done so I’ve got something set in stone. The details I need I can put down by doing a map of the area the Penal Earth stories (so far) take place in. So tomorrow I’m going to start sketching.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. My Dad and I have a few bits and pieces to do around the house and I’ve got a little shopping to do. So I’ll likely be working in the afternoon. I’m going to do that sketch and then I’m going to start putting my notes into Black Blood and work on getting this draft done by the end of the month.

Despite not getting as much done as I’d have liked I’ve had a good day. Went for a walk with a friend, which reminded me of how out of shape I am! but it was good hanging out with her and getting out in the fresh air. I am missing my friends, and it was good to see one. We did do it respecting social distancing, but you know what, if we’re all sensible and follow the guidelines we’ll be able to start hanging out with each other a lot more.

Darnley Mausoleum

Right, I’m going to go and get the dishes done! Then I’m going to read for a little while. I’ve left intersections with friends who I know will be up early tomorrow to blow my phone up until I’m not just awake, but out of bed!

A time-lapse of me writing, and obviously Raven had to make a cameo!