Hey folks, I’ve not written today but have transferred the vampire 1st draft over to Scrivener.
Short post today, I’m wiped out. I’ve posted a video on my YouTube today which is embedded into this post where I talk more about how the last few days have gone and why I’m so tired.
Good evening folks, this morning I wrote 853 words before work. These words ended a short story I’ve been working on. It needs editing, obviously. This story has come to me quite quickly and I’ve found I’ve got it written as quickly. I’m a little worried that it’s going to need a lot of pulling together but I have time before the submission window for the anthology I’m going to submit it to.
This story, I hope, has a bleakness to it. The story kind of rests on this mood for it. I hope I have it nice and level throughout and it feels as heavy as I think it does.
I’m still not progressing well enough with where I want to be. Editing has fallen behind, so I need to pick that up again. I have one short story which I recently started that I’ll be looking to work on in the next few days and get rolling with it properly, but when I have a proper amount of time to sit down and work, it’ll be editing.
Right now, it’s past my bedtime. Good night all!
Happy Max because he has a new toy 🙂
I’ve got the emails worked through. I got those five chapters edited, which is 13678 words worked through. I didn’t get the drabble written. I kept looking at it but although I’ve got an idea I haven’t found a way to get it rolling yet. So I’m going to let it simmer for a couple of days and see what it says to me.
It was a real slow burn day. I’m still struggling to get up to the speed I used to be at.
A coupe of numbers for you: Last month I wrote 3626 words and edited 39962 words. The end of August I’ll be reporting different numbers, better numbers.
Good morning, folks. How are we all doing today?
I’m going to try and get a few bits and pieces done today. I’ve got a tonne of emails to work my way through. I’m tired of seeing so many emails in the inbox and it means I’m missing emails I need to be dealing with in good time.
So thats one goal.
I’m also going to be editing. I’m making okay progress with this main edit, which is Penal Earth, so I’m going to aim for a good day with that one. Last night I said I was going to try for one chapter done today, but I’ve had a change of plans so I’ve got a lot more time to make the most of. So I’m going for five chapters today. It feels a little intimidating, but I’m going for it.
That’s another goal.
Finally I’ve got a drabble to write to submit to an anthology I’ve been invited to. When I got this invite it made my day, it’s super flattering but also hits my ego a little. Although I have a lot of insecurities I do have an ego, it might not be that big but it’s there. It’s also a big challenge to write a drabble. A hundred word story takes a certain skill, and thankfully I do have experience with these flash fiction pieces. I’ve got a number of stories in the anthology 84 Stories 84 Words which are all stories which have only 84 words in. So having a hundred to play with is almost a luxury! But still a challenge. I’m looking forward to it, it’s something I can get my teeth stuck into and hopefully have some fun with it.
That’s three goals. Let’s see how I do at the end of the day.
It is 7:46am and I’m up and have a cup of tea and a laptop on my lap. I had planned to have a lay in but my back decided to scupper that idea, yeah….. I’m getting old!
But anyway, nothing worked on yesterday. After work I had errands to run and a couple of phone calls to make and then, and yeah I’m gonna say it, I binge watch the new Transformers series on Netflix. I needed a little downtime as well if I’m honest. I needed to shut down for a few hours, and although I didn’t get lost into the series as I’d have liked to of done I did a little, and that took a little pressure off me. Even if it was just for a few moments it helped.
I’m feeling pumped at the moment. I feel like I’m getting back into the rhythm of getting writing done. I still need some more focus and start thinking forward a little. I vaguely know what I’m going to be doing in the next few months but I need to start trying to figure out a plan going forward. What do I want from the next eighteen months? How the hell do I even figure out how to plan that out? It’s something I’ve been thinking on, and will until I have an answer.
This next few months are very vital to where I want my writing to be. I need to figure my track out and get on it and know where I want to be and what I’ve accomplished in, say eighteen months time. I need to work out what I’m capable of achieving in that time.
I have no idea how to do that, I’m taking to a few people. Seeing what guidance I can get and formulating a plan from there.
That’s a wrap, folks. I’m going to get cracking with my day. Have a good one folks.
(If you want an idea of how my mind is a little scattered at the moment, how I’m struggling to keep focus then look at the time stamp at the start of the post, and it’s now 9:28am).
***This post was written on the 27th of November 2019***
During NaNoWriMo this year I almost quit writing. As in I was done and never going to write a word of fiction again. I was struggling to get any words written. I was failing, and have subsequently failed as an Municipal Liaison(ML). My personal life was busy, but good. I wasn’t writing though. I was snatching words here and there and never really feeling like I was getting anywhere.
I hit a breaking point where I realised that I’d failed as an ML. I’d screwed up my own schedule and couldn’t follow through with a commitment I’d made. I’d felt lost at sea with being an ML throughout the month. Luckily my region has two experienced MLs in place so I hope my lack of skill and capability as an ML didn’t cause any major problems. But even knowing that I had two MLs with me who knew the score I still couldn’t seem to step up. I know I could have asked both of them for help (hell, one of them was my official ML mentor!), but I hesitated each time. I felt stupid and incapable of being what I wanted to be. I found limitations in myself that I hadn’t even realised I’d had. Realising all this broke me one day.
In addition to that, I wasn’t getting words written. I’ve had to push back a release to early next year at least and I was feeling lost in a way that I’ve never felt before when it comes to writing.
I hit breaking point.
I was done. I wasn’t going to write anymore. I was a nobody, I had no talent, my writing and my ideas are just re-tellings of stories that have been done to death. I was a hack.
So for a few days I was done. I’d all but decided that I’d fullfil my writing commitments (NaNoWriMo ML and a short story I’ve promised to write), but after that I was done.
Then, one random day Dave B Jeffrey tagged me on Twitter as a genre writer worthy of peoples time. I think I was already coming out of my pit of self-loafing but this yanked me out. Without knowing it Dave Jeffrey threw a rope down that deep dark hole I was trying to claw my way out of and pulled me out. I only know Dave Jeffrey on social media. He seems like a nice guy but as someone with a touch of shyness and a lot of social anxiety I’ve not really spoken to him. So this was a big surprise.
Since then I haven’t written as many words as I’d like, I won’t be hitting even 20k on NaNo, but the ideas are flowing again. I’m seeing ways to solve problems in long term projects that have not gone how I wanted them too (also contributing to the crisis of faith in my own ability), I’ve had new ideas and I’m thinking about how to make the most of the small amount of time I have in the future.
I’ve also got to make sure to remind myself that I can write. I’ve been told this by people around me, but also by peers and reviewers. I’ve had one short story compared to a Stephen King work. A reader mentioned my story as one of the best in that anthology. A second said my story in another anthology has become one of their favourite short stories. I’ve had a writer give me a blurb for that book I’ve had to put back and what he said gave me a smile the size of Australia.
I think I will always have doubts about myself as a writer. Think it’s called imposter syndrome, but I’m not the only one who feels that. I look at people who inspire me and have to remind myself that I can do this. Maybe I’m not ML material, but I can write.
***I’m not in this place anymore. I struggled to get back to where I am but at that time I was so very done. I had quit writing. I had given up. Even though it took a long time for me to get back on track, this one tweet stopped me from giving up on my dream***
When I wrote my last post on Sunday I mentioned that I was a little nervous about getting stuck into editing, but I dove in Sunday all the same and knocked out fifty pages of 1.5 spaced A4. On Monday night I steamed through another twenty-two pages, and last night I got through another twenty-five pages.
Getting on with this editing has been just like getting back on a bike and has been a damn sight easier than I was expecting it to be. It’s not been a walk in the park but is has been quite straight forward.
It’s a lesson that I need to let take hold in my head. Stop worrying over something that I know I can do, just because I haven’t done something for a while doesn’t mean I’ve lost all ability in the field. I’m almost at a hundred pages of making these edits to my novella, in three days. It’s not a nightmare, it’s not (for me) the dreaded act of fixing the novella. At over the halfway point it’s straightforward and moving at a good pace.
So the angst is redundant here, I can do this. Like most of writing, it’s just a case of sitting down and getting it done!
Peter Germany's World 