Changes

If you’ve been reading my blog at petergermany.com you’ll have seen that I mentioned that I’ve got some stuff going on in my life outside of writing, no I’m not going to talk about it here but one thing that has happened outside of writing is not only a change of jobs but an entire career change.

In April I started working at a supermarket, after almost twenty years working in the car trade. I started off at eighteen washing cars at a second hand car sales and when I left I was the sole valeter at another second hand car sales. I was pretty damn good at the job. From washing the cars lined up each I got shown how to fully valet a car. From engine bay to roof linings. Upholstery to tires. Was I the best at it? No, but I was pretty damn good. I learnt to work through most weather conditions, from baking summer days to freezing winter ones. I’ve had sunstroke, and been cold to the point where my fingers and toes were numb to the point where I couldn’t feel them. Cleaning cars with hands like that was hard and I had more than a few days where it took me hours to warm up after coming home.

I did enjoy it though. I enjoyed the work, there was something about taking a car that hadn’t had much love and making it look like it had been waxed every week. Like it had been hovered out daily.

I worked with the same core group of people over those years. They’ve become good friends who are the types of friends I could call in the middle of the night needing help and they’d be there for me.

There was more than a few arseholes I met as well. Thankfully those people rarely hung around.

It was hard work, very hard work but I always tried my best. I worked through a lot times when I shoulda probably gone home and sweated out whatever cold I had, or toothache (second worse pain I’ve ever experienced), and worst of all kidney stone.

The job came to an end the early part of this year. With how the market was moving and our way of preparing and presenting our cars not what the public wanted anymore my former employer called it a day. I wasn’t out of work straight away, and could have stayed in the same company but in the workshop. Although I’m not a mechanic I know enough that I could have been of value. I know my former employer wanted me to stay, I had an informal job offer from a former employer and I was told of a valeter’s position at another car sales. With my experience and work ethic I would have gotten both of those jobs hands down, but it was time for a change though.

Retail was calling me, and if I’m honest I would be in retail if it wasn’t for getting a job in the car trade. I had one company in mind and they were one of the first places I applied. I had someone give me a little help with getting my CV up to date and with preparing for the interview. Which I screwed up! I got my times wrong and showed up late. Thankfully I was given a second chance and I took it. Once I was through the interview process I was offered a job, which I accepted.

To say it’s been both exciting and nerve raking is accurate. I haven’t worked in retail since 1999/2000, and then it was a shoe shop. So, very different to what working in a supermarket is. But my nerves were shouted down from the excitement I was feeling. I knew in my gut I wanted this job, I knew that was the place for me.

I haven’t looked back.

I’ve had a few tough days, but most of those were early on when I was still learning the ropes. I like the physicality to the job, I like talking to the customers. The attention to details that are needed speaks to my OCD a little.

Something that I’m enjoying is that I haven’t been challenged to do better in my job for a long time. With this job its a real team effort and I do not want to be an element that let the side down. I feel like I’ve fallen on my feet because it’s such a great group of people that I’m working with, I’ve been welcomed in and am really getting to know my colleagues now.

Hopefully I’m there for a long time.

One of the plus sides is less hours, which means more time and more time to spend with family, friends, and get some writing done. I’m looking at making the most of my time and trying to maximise my time. I still need to work on my focus but it’s slowly getting better.

Things have been hard, but there are a few good things there as well.

(This post was originally posted on my Buy Me A Coffee page).

Here We Go

Post originally posted on BuyMeACoffee on 27/7/2020.

A lot of what I’ve been doing recently is trying to get my head back on track with all this. I know I’ve got to get these stories edited. Getting fresh work isn’t going to get me where I want to be. I can work on new stories and keep rewriting the ones I’ve already got until the end of time and it’s not going to get me where I want/need to be.

I know the chances of me earning enough to write full time are very slim, but you know what? That doesn’t matter. I want to have my work published. I want people to read it. I want to grow as a person and as a writer. I think the two can go hand in hand. Even if I just break even, or make a loss for the rest of my life I’m going to write and try and get my work published. Whether that’s through publishers, or self-published or a bit of both I’m going to try and get my work published.

What does that mean for the foreseeable future? Well, at the moment I’m working without much of a direction. I know the three main projects I need to be working on, with one in particular that I should really bump to the top of the list because that one is the one that’ll be out first.

Speaking of out first. I’ve given the artist a heads up that I’ll want him to resume work on the cover for the zombie book (absolutely love what he’s done so far). I’ve spoken to an editor and got a quote, and I’ve spoke to someone about formatting, and gotten a quote for that as well. So, I know what it’s going to cost roughly for me to get this out. So I’m going to be putting as much away as I can to get that sum together. It’s doable, just. Like everyone I’ve got bills to pay, and expenses, but I can do it. Anything I earn from writing until I’ve got that cash together will go to it as well. So anything I receive through this website will be a part of that. All my writing costs (.com fees etc.) are covered for the year, so I don’t have to worry about those until the new year.

So there it is. Not much of an action plan, but it’s a vague direction until I get my head settled properly and I can get a proper plan in place.

3rd August 2020

Evening, Folks! This will be a super short post. I edited 2583 words on Penal Earth today, and I’ve realised I’ve only got six more chapters to edit. I’m not getting excited. My beta readers pointed out that the ending comes quite suddenly so I’m going to add more to build up to it. I’ve got an idea of what I want to put in there, but I’m not really sure how it’s going to go at the moment.

I have got a short story to get done and dusted by the end of the month (that includes having my betas read it as well), I hope I can get it done. I think I can, but we’ll see.

That’s it for tonight, have a good one folks!

Good Evening, 2nd August 2020

Good evening folks! How’s everyone doing tonight?

It won’t be a long post tonight. I haven’t edited but I did write 104 words on the drabble story, yes that’s 4 words over the 100 max it’s meant to be and there’s elements to the story I want to add, but that’s what editing is for.

This week I’m going to be looking at setting myself some targets. Something a little more short term as opposed to the next eighteen months that I’ve been thinking about the last few days.

I do have a lot going on in my personal life that I’m not going to go into detail here. Those things are driving my writing though, more than it’s ever been driven before. Yes, I need to focus again. But I’m getting there. This coming week I’m going to look at the time I have and what time I can give to writing and try and make the most of that time.

The anthologies I’ve been published in 🙂

Good Evening, 1st 0f August 2020

I’ve got the emails worked through. I got those five chapters edited, which is 13678 words worked through. I didn’t get the drabble written. I kept looking at it but although I’ve got an idea I haven’t found a way to get it rolling yet. So I’m going to let it simmer for a couple of days and see what it says to me.

It was a real slow burn day. I’m still struggling to get up to the speed I used to be at.

A coupe of numbers for you: Last month I wrote 3626 words and edited 39962 words. The end of August I’ll be reporting different numbers, better numbers.

Good Morning, 1st of August 2020

Good morning, folks. How are we all doing today?

I’m going to try and get a few bits and pieces done today. I’ve got a tonne of emails to work my way through. I’m tired of seeing so many emails in the inbox and it means I’m missing emails I need to be dealing with in good time.

So thats one goal.

I’m also going to be editing. I’m making okay progress with this main edit, which is Penal Earth, so I’m going to aim for a good day with that one. Last night I said I was going to try for one chapter done today, but I’ve had a change of plans so I’ve got a lot more time to make the most of. So I’m going for five chapters today. It feels a little intimidating, but I’m going for it.

That’s another goal.

My working space for the day.

Finally I’ve got a drabble to write to submit to an anthology I’ve been invited to. When I got this invite it made my day, it’s super flattering but also hits my ego a little. Although I have a lot of insecurities I do have an ego, it might not be that big but it’s there. It’s also a big challenge to write a drabble. A hundred word story takes a certain skill, and thankfully I do have experience with these flash fiction pieces. I’ve got a number of stories in the anthology 84 Stories 84 Words which are all stories which have only 84 words in. So having a hundred to play with is almost a luxury! But still a challenge. I’m looking forward to it, it’s something I can get my teeth stuck into and hopefully have some fun with it.

That’s three goals. Let’s see how I do at the end of the day.

28/7/2020

Gooooooood evening, folks! I’ve slowly edited two chapters over the last few hours. Concentration is still something I’m struggling with. I’ve got busy week coming up but I’ve two clear days next week and I’m going to try and get rolling nice and early those days and get a mornings worth of work done each day.

Today’s edits weren’t bad. Some of it is just bog standard stuff where I’m tightening sentences up. I think the story is okay at the moment but this project is one that I’m going to go hard on in the next few months and make sure it’s as clean as I can get it.

With CL Raven. This is one of my favourite pictures. These two ladies have become great friends and supporters of me and my work.

I’m going to try and change a few things when it comes to sleep. I need more of it, after months of getting very little it’s time I did something to change it. So I’m going to make sure I’m done with writing by 9pm, and TV off by ten. Then read for half an hour and then head down. Especially on a work night. I love my day job and want to make sure I’m on top of my game with it.

I’m wrapping it up for the night. Time to chill out a little before bed.

Have a good one folks!

26-7-2020

No writing, no editing done today. I’m past tired. I’m going to watch a movie then bed. Tomorrow, I’m going to go for it. At least three chapters edited during a day where I’ve got calls to make, and a couple of appointments.

A short post tonight, so here’s a picture of senior kitty Dizzy playing like a kitten.

18-7-20

Good evening folks, today I had a movie and writing day. Okay so it was more movies than writing. I’ve had a few busy days where I’ve been getting a lot sorted and I was wiped out. So I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy and a couple of other movies, and did a little writing.

Something I’ve realised is that I’ve already re-written a fair bit of the vampire book I’ve been working on. So I’ve looked over the bit I’ve been rewriting the last couple of days and merged it together. I’m going to go through it over the next few days and see where I am properly with it all though. I did write 771 words today though. Getting into editing the word count will drop but that’s part and parcel of the process. My head isn’t in the right place to be working on multiple pieces at the moment so I’m not going to try to do so.

I’ve got a busy week with work coming up but I’m going to try and make sure I’m working on these projects each day. I am thinking about goals through the rest of the year but am not comfortable with sharing them at the moment.

Right folks, thats it for now. I can hear a bed calling me so I’m off to it.

Looking Back At 2017

This last year has been a tough one. As a family we’ve had a lot of crap thrown our way this year. We’ve lost loved ones, and had issues of health pepper us amongst other difficulties life has a habit of throwing in our paths.

It has been a hard year, it’s not been harder than anyone else’s year. It’s been what it is. We’ve taken each day as it comes and in my opinion that is the best way to take life at times.

These things I won’t go into detail on. They are things that affect my family as well as myself and I don’t think it’s my place to talk in-depth about these events on my public blog.

One moment this year that hit me harder than I thought something of its nature could was the death of Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington. Although now I am really out of date with most music, I was a huge fan of Linkin Park when they first hit the scene. Their first two albums are two of my favourite albums ever, I didn’t even listen to that type of music until they came along. It’s music that speaks to me, but I didn’t realise how important it is to me until Bennington’s death this year. I mourned his death in a way that I haven’t for other public figures. I read a lot of Tom Clancy when I was in my late teens. I was a huge fan of Alan Rickman as well, and although it saddened me when they died it wasn’t like when Chester Bennington died. I immediately binge listened to the Linkin Park albums I had, and blitz their YouTube channel. It was only a month or so ago that I’ve stopped getting a lump in my throat when I hear his vocals. I realised a few weeks after his death that I felt like this because it was the first death of one of my icons. Someone who not only did I look up to and admire, but someone who spoke to me. I didn’t know the death of someone I didn’t know would hit me as hard as Chester Bennington’s death did.

I’ve had highs and lows with writing this year. A few projects I put a lot of time into have crashed and burned pretty badly. In particular I was quite demoralised by a zombie story I thought was going to be something good but it just didn’t pan out how I was expecting it too and it kind of gave me a bit of a confidence hit. I had done a lot of outlining for it, characters had been thought out and developed, but it just didn’t go right. I tried to rewrite it for NaNo, and it’s not bad. I’m happier with it now than I was initially but it’s not how I was expecting it to go. I think I can roll with how it’s changing, I just need to do some re-thinking on it.

Something I have learned is that it doesn’t matter whether I write with a pen and paper or straight into a word processor the words are the same. I wrote a first draft of a story I’ve got a lot of hope for by hand but was writing something else at the same time digitally and realised quickly that it didn’t matter how I wrote something, if I was in the mood to write it all came out the same. With this story in particular I’ve got to change a lot for the second draft. Like the zombie story I mentioned it came out different to how I envisioned it. The biggest problem is I’ve written it from only one point of view, and to tell the story I want to I need to do it from multiple POVs. I don’t think it’ll be difficult, but I want to let it sit for another month or two before I return to it. I’d like to get some more planning done for it as well.

The work with Owen is a little up in the air at the moment but I’m expecting to find out what’s happening early in the new year.

The highest points of this year for me have been getting two stories published. Both through charity anthologies from Burdizzo Books. The first one, The Final Charge was in Sparks: An Electric Anthology in October. The second was my take on The Three French Hens in this years 12 Days of Christmas 2017 Anthology. I am incredibly proud of both of these stories. They were a lot of fun to write and knowing the proceeds from both books go to good causes makes it feel even better than it does. The folks at Burdizzo Books are fantastic people as well, along with the group of writers they have around them.

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It’s great to finally have my writing in print and has really fired me up and shown me that it’s not impossible. There is nothing stopping me except myself.

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The last item I really want to talk about are a few of the people I’ve met this year. I attended a book launch for Sparks up in Walsall and met the head honcho and editor Matthew Cash as well as a couple of the other contributors. We later had another launch in my home town as Burdizzo Books’ other editor, Em Dehaney, is from Gravesend as well. Both launch parties were fantastic, I did a reading at both, although with the Gravesend one I was hit with a severe cold a few hours before and was incredibly unwell. I thought I was going to pass out during my reading, but it was still an amazing experience.

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Myself with Pippa Bailey, Matthew Cash, and David Court.

I also went to a few cons this year. Unfortunately DemonCon down in Maidstone has now come to an end. I was pleased to be at the last one in February, but will miss it. It’s the con were I first me Dan Abnett and his wife Nik, who are lovely people. I went to Birmingham Horror Con around that time as well, that was incredibly fun and I got to see my friends Cat and Lynx Raven again as well as Dave from From The Shadows. I also went to EGX with my buddy Stefan from Stefan’s Daily Gaming. Although I’m not a huge gamer this was a lot of fun as well. It was good seeing some great games and a lot of people who were in their element. Bristol Horror Con was my favourite of the year though. Not only did I see CL Raven and Dave (From The Shadows) again but I also went to a couple of panels. I spent a little time talking to Adam Millard and his wife in the VIP room. Seriously lovely people who were very encouraging of my own work and just fun to talk to. I also got the chance to speak to Tim Lebbon as well. Again, another awesome and encouraging person. I just hope the more of these I go to the more at ease I get speaking to all these fantastic people.

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With Lynx and Cat Raven at Bristol Horror Con

The horror community is really welcoming and seems to have a lot of heart to it. It’s definitely a place I feel at home it.

One night in particular that was both fun and tiring was an all-night ghosts hunt I went on with Boleyn Paranormal down at a True Crime Museum in Hastings. It was a lot of fun, very interesting and I met more awesome people, but I’m not doing another all-nighter. I was shattered for a few days after that. Cat and Lynx Raven were there as well, and they popped back to my home to meet my animal army before they returned to Cardiff. En Route to my house we stopped at the site of the Battle of Hastings. Although not far from my home I can’t recall ever going there and it was quite a surreal experience that I’m glad we took the time to do.

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Lynx and Cat saying hello to two of our hens

A massive highlight of the year for me was meeting Scott Sigler and AB Kovacs. I’ve been a fan of Sigler’s work for a decade now and when he announced he was coming to Europe, including the UK, it would have taken the zombie apocalypse to have stopped me from getting there. It was a great evening in a pub in London just hanging out with Scott, A and other fans of Sigler’s work (AKA the Junkies). It was good chatting to them both and seeing the love they have for the fans of the work. Both Scott and A have a lot of charisma and energy and clearly love what they do, and it was one of the highlights of the year.

2017 has had a lot of downs, but its had a lot of ups as well. That’s what I’m focusing on, I’m not ignoring the low points, just choosing to look at the positives. Most importantly I appreciate those important people I have in my life. My friends and family mean the world to me and I’m very grateful having them all.

Roll on 2018…