I have always thought of Dyspraxia as a learning difficulty that affected balance and co-ordination.  Speech, pronunciation of words and letters and the way that I cannot express what is in my head.  This is how I would describe Dyspraxia to someone after I had told them that I had it.  After looking into it now though, I cannot really believe how little I knew about it.  I suppose it is like living in a great city like New York for example.  I’ve heard that a lot of people have never been to view the Statue of Liberty and I do wonder how many people with a condition like Dyspraxia actually look into it to see just what it is all about.  I’ve found out so much about myself from just a little bit of research which did not take an hour to be honest.

In addition to speech, balance, co-ordination and expression of thought Dyspraxia also affects grip and feel, even orally.  There are foods that I will not eat because the texture does not feel right.  Difficulties riding a bike and even driving can be difficult.  Social skills can be really bad as well.  I’ve found making friends difficult at times.

This learning disorder can also overlap with Dyslexia(reading and spelling), Dyscalculia (maths), Dysgraphia (writing and drawing), Expressive Language Disorder (verbal expression).  As well as ADHD and Aspergers syndrome.  This overlap must make it very difficult to diagnose exactly what a child or an adult may suffer from.  Each of the three schools I attended either had a separate unit for Dyspraxia or the whole school specialised in helping children with special needs.  (those schools were York Road Primary, Gap House and Upbury Manor secondary school) So I grew up with children that had similar problems and a friend of mine who i always assumed had Dyspraxia was diagnosed as having Aspergers Syndrone a few years ago.  So this is a good example of a miss diagnoses.

When I was a child it was mainly the speech problems that dominate my memories.  I did not utter a word until I was six years old, and then it a the F-word! I asked my parents what they remembered from that time as few people have clear memories of their childhood.  What they told me brought back a few memories but much of it did not.  I remember having to be taught how to move my lips and tongue to form letters but I did not remember that peanut butter and chocolate spread was smeared on the inside of my mouth so I would move my tongue to those parts of my mouth.  Speech therapists were positive that I could talk as I could mimic the sounds that animals make.  Even after i started talking my folks said it wasnt until I was eight or nine that I began to speak like a child of my age.  The methods used to teach me how to speak were similar to those used to teach stroke victims to speak again.  One thing that I did find very amusing was that my parents told me that I spoke with a foreign accent until I was about twelve, boy do I wish we owned a video camera back then! just to hear for myself! 

One of the things my parents told me was how proud they were of me when I played Christopher Columbus in ‘Christopher Columbus, this is your life’  It was the lead role and I was on stage throughout the entire show.  They said it made them so proud seeing how far I had come.  Thankfully I have over come most of my speech problems.

The most interesting thing that I learnt was that Dyspraxia does not affect all who suffer with it the same way.  Where I may struggle with say, speaking my thoughts someone else who has Dyspraxia may be able to speak with the skill of a statesman.  When I get flustered or I am put on the spot I can get very tongue-tied and flustered, I also find that my sentances drop off and for the life of me I cant finish what I was saying or writing.  I’ve always had bad grip in my hands and when I’m writing with a pen my hands begin to ache.  Muscle tone can also be weaker which I’ve notice when I’m having to hold a weight. It also does not affect intelligence like i thought it did.  It’s known as a Specific Learning Disorder or SPLD.  I think this basically means that it does not make us who have it less intelligent but its harder for us to learn and develope.

Another difficulty that I have is that I find it difficult to follow instructions at times and to plan things out, so if this post and future ones look like they lack a little organisation thats my excuse and I’m sticking to it 😛

I would imagine this may sound like I’m using Dyspraxia for attention or trying to blame it for some of my personality quirks but I am not.  As I did the little bit of research for this post i found it very difficult and mentally draining because it made me realise just how much it affects me in my everyday life.

I have never used Dyspraxia as an excuse for how I am or if I make a mistake, but now that i have looked into this condition which will always be part of me I now know how it affects me.  I know these things I can now look at and try to fix so Dyspraxia does not have as much of an effect on me. 

Dyspraxia has never been a daemon for me, it’s never been an excuse for failure. Yes i have Dyspraixa but it is never something that I have ever been ASHAMED of.  I have never hid it and quite freely tell people I suffer from it if the conversation comes onto the subject.  It does not define who I am, it is not something that I think about to great lengths and I do not feel the urge to make my life about Dyspraxia.

Dyspraxia is part of me as much as the colour of my eyes and I would not have it any other way.