Random Thoughts

Good Evening, 27th December 2022

Peter Germany Cat, Editing, Horror, Horror Writer, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Nanowrimo, Random Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Howdy, folks! How are we all doing? Are people having a good festive period? Mine has been pretty darn good, but it’s back to work tomorrow. Which I am looking forward to, I enjoy my day job a lot and I like the routine (if shift-work has such a thing), and as most of my shifts are early’s I tend to have the rest of the day to get stuck into what I need to.

In the week before Christmas I had very little time to focus on writing, but I did manage to squeeze writing time in. This years NaNo project is still in process and I didn’t want to go too many days without working on it. I’ve had seven days this month where I haven’t done any writing at all, and likely a few days where I haven’t worked on NaNo ’22, but I’ve not let too many days in a row where I’ve not worked on it. Something I’ve talked about a lot on here is momentum, and I think it’s something that’s very important. I’ve lost momentum before and it’s very hard to get it back. I’m worried it’s going to happen again, so I’m hoping I’ve done enough so far with this story to stop me from hitting a roadblock that stops me dead like has happened in the past.

I don’t want this year to end with a bang, and I definitely don’t want it to end with a whimper. I want it to end with a nice steady pace, similar to where I am at the moment which rolls right into 2023 and continues.

I haven’t spoken much about my mental health publicly of late, that’s simply because I’m feeling better than I have done in a long time. Okay, then I’ve ever felt. Yes, there’s a long way to go. There are still things which really eat away at me, and as I kinda tick one thing off another three crop up. But I’m working on it all. I have less bad days now then I used to and the good ones are more frequent. I don’t believe it’s one or the other. I think some days are a mix of both, while others are neither. Those are the days I have most of, but even those days tend to be more towards the positive side of life.

The biggest lesson I feel I’ve learnt of late is to get a decent amount of sleep. Life is a lot more settled when I’m more rested.

We all have that one co-worker that don’t do much 😉🤣

Indiana Jones 4 & Zootropolis+

Peter Germany Movie Review, Movies, Random Thoughts, TV , , ,

Howdy folks. Something a little different tonight, a few thoughts on a movie and a streaming show.

I recently watched Indiana Jones and the Kingsom of the Crystal Skull for the second time, and the first time since shortly after it came out. I had a negative impression of it and watching it again I’ve come to feel that, it’s not as bad as I’d let myself think it is. Is it as good as previous instalments? No, but that doesn’t make it a bad film. I’d have liked a different ending, honestly not sure about the wrap up of the mystery but hey ho. Overall though, it was decent. Harrison Ford was good, John Hurt was awesome. Cate Blanchett was soils as always and I love Karen Allen’s energy and her chemistry with Ford. And Shia Labeouf was good. I’ve seen a few headlines about him over the last few years, which unfortunately seem to just be negative. Which is a shame because, damn. That dude can act.

I also watched Zootropolis+ on Disney+ and I’m a little disappointed. It was a series of adjacent stories that run alongside the movie, which was okay, and a some of them were really good. Especially the Mafia boss’s backstory, but I’d love to see a series following the police in that world, not like the central precinct like in the film, but another smaller district. I think that could really open up that world where it felt like we only scratched the surface.

Good Morning 1-1-22

Peter Germany Cat, Health, Life, Lifestyle, Men’s Mental Health, Mental Health, Random Thoughts, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Good morning, folks! How are we all doing this this morning? I’d imagine there are a few sore heads surfacing from their beds, sofas, or wherever they found themselves waking after seeing the New Year in. Me, I was in bed and well off to sleep as the clock brought 2021 to an end.

I’m not really one for making a fuss of new years. When I was in my early teens my step-grandad died on New Years Eve and since then I’ve only had a couple of new years that I’ve felt were good. It has become somewhat of a time of year that I can come to dread. Some have been pretty darn awful. So I don’t really pay too much attention to them.

Dizzy doesn’t seem that interested in the fact it’s a new year.

The same could be said of New Years Resolutions. I never really saw the point in them as most people give up on them after a few weeks, and if you really wanted to change something in your life you’d just start doing it, right? Well, this year something feels different. I’ve woken up with a new determination to get my arse into gear and change a few things in my life.

The last couple of years have had a lot of change and growth for me, and I’m getting better at recognising when I need to be more proactive with making changes. I’ve known a few of these changes I’ve been needing to make recently, but I’m not someone who can just snap my fingers and make those changes. I need to let things process a little before making a start.

One of the big ones is I used to be able to get up on my days off and make a start on writing. I think back to when I was in the car trade and my one day off a week would be a Sunday and I’d get up and be working on a blog post by about 8am. If you’ve been reading my blog for more than a few years you may remember my ‘Good Morning, Sunday’ posts. Those started because I liked getting up, having a cuppa tea and knocking out a post about what I wanted to get done that day. I felt good getting up and having a good start to the day, and that more often than not led to a decent day. I’ve found if I can get a blog post written early on, or get a few words written, then it gives me a boost for the day. I feel like I’ve already achieved something for the day, which gives me a good vibe going into whatever the day holds.

My last selfie of 2021

Over the last couple of years I’ve lost my way with that, and I need to get back on track with it. And I’m starting today. This is the first time I’ve sat down and ever tried to write a blog post at this time of the day in a long time.

So although I’m not going to make resolutions, I’ve got a list of things I’m looking at being a little more proactive with improving.

Happy New Year, folks! Make it a year to remember for the right reasons.

Sometimes I Sit….

Peter Germany Editing, Horror Writer, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Outlining, Planning, Preparation, Random Thoughts, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I sit to write a blog post which isn’t my normal journal entry style that I tend to do. I like to give a little more once in a while, and I’m trying to get better at expressing my opinions. But more often than not I’m sitting looking at a blank screen while I wait for a subject, or even just s few words, to grab me. This post is a prime example. I had a good few minutes of thinking ‘fuck, I’ve got nothing’ but that also happens when I’m writing as well. I’ll look at that blank screen and my mind goes blank.

It’s both bizarre and frustrating at the same time. I know I’ve got the words there but so often they just do not want to play ball. This is where being in a good state of mind helps. If I’m feeling pretty good about myself then I can normally get rolling nicely. It’s when I’m having a bad head day that I struggle.

Thankfully those days and moments are few and far between now. I’ve got enough I can work on that it one idea is flowing well I can dive into another, and I’m finding that brainstorming is really beginning to help when I’ve got nothing coming out when I’m trying to write.

This doesn’t always work, sometimes it’s editing that I can get stuck into, other times nothing helps. But the key is I’m finding more ways to be productive when I’m not able to write.

3am thoughts (1/6/21)

Peter Germany Cat, Conventions, Life, Random Thoughts, Uncategorized , , , , , , ,

I’m awake, very awake. That doesn’t mean I’m not tired, I’m beyond tired. Sleep isn’t coming though. Luckily I’ve not got the day job tomorrow, so I’m not having to worry about that.

The thing about be awake at this time of the night is very few people are. I don’t mean globally, and thanks to the internet there is always someone I can chat to as I’m blessed to have made friends all over the planet thanks to writing, and the internet. Where it gets strange is there are no, or very few, cars driving up and down my road. Yeah it’s a little country lane, but we’d still get vehicles coming up and down. There’s always tractors and other farm machinery moving around. We get people walking up and down, some with dogs, others without. Cyclists use the road as well. We get a lot of groups of cyclists that I’m guessing are from local organisations (all seem to forget the rule of riding single file, but that’s a rant for another day).

If someone walks this road tonight they might glance up at the single window illuminated and wonder who is awake, and why they are. They might even seen me (my desk is at my window). Will they have the same thoughts I am? How the hours between midnight and say, 5am, are strange and almost alien. Or are they thinking, ‘look at that muppet’.

I know for some the nighttime hours are not weird. They’re not an alien concept. For them it’s their profession. How many jobs now exist where people work all hours. I don’t just mean the emergency services but I’m thinking about hauliers, taxi drivers, workers fixing roads because at night it’s easier as it’s less impactful on the traffic, Supermarket workers. There’s a whole host of people going to or still at work while the majority of us sleep.

I’m not a city boy, but I’d imagine even the cities and towns which are people say never sleep, still see a drop in activity in these early hours of the morning. We as a species aren’t nocturnal. Some people are, they feel at home when the sun is giving light to the other side of the planet, but for most people their days start when the sun is rising or risen, and end when it takes it’s light away for another day.

Unlike Raven, I’m not nocturnal.

I’m going to try and sleep. Writing this post might have pushed me over that tipping point where exhaustion will win out over the reasons why I’m awake.

Peace out, Folks!

Good Morning, 24th February 2021

Peter Germany Health, Horror, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Random Thoughts, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hey folks, how are we all doing today?

I’m not feeling as energised as I have been, and I’m writing this much later than yesterday for example. Something I do when I’m at work when customers ask me how I am I’d say ‘I’m good thanks, I’m always good me,’ It gets some laughs and it generally is true. Even when I’m feeling down I’ll try and snap myself out of it, because it doesn’t help anybody. I know it’s easier said than done. If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know I was finding things very difficult last summer, and it’s been a journey and a half to get to where I am now, and its a journey that will never have a destination. Because I learn and grow with each day, each challenge. I’m not letting myself hold me back any longer.

We have the potential to be great. Both on an individual level and as a species. Now, with the state of humanity in this day and age I think it’s going to be difficult for us to achieve that greatness, but as individuals. There’s nothing stopping us. Even when we get knocked down, we get up, and brush ourselves off.

On a recent episode of the Mando Method Armand Rosamilia said about me that I’m always moving forward, even when I’m taking steps back I’m moving forward. That’s what we all need to be trying to do. If we have to take a few steps back, its not a defeat, its a way of moving forward because we might not be quite ready for that next step. It’s like the timing of a pass in a football game. If you play it too early the recipient might not be in a prime position to take a shot. Sometimes stepping back is about being patient.

Right, I’m going to get a little writing/editing done before the day job. I hope you all have a great day, folks!

Taking Positive Steps

Peter Germany Books, Health, Home Office, Horror, Horror Writer, Insperation, Life, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Preparation, Random Thoughts, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thinking about the goals I wrote down yesterday something has struck me today; I need to learn how to make the most of my time. I’ve talked briefly about this before, but it really is something I need to master. The next few months I’m going to be trying to optimise my time. Between work, writing, family, friends, and downtime I need to be productive when I have the time. Something I’ve recently written on my dry/erase board above my desk is ‘Make Writing Time Sacred’. This is something I definitely need reminding of. To try and make that happen is that when I’m sprinting (writing intensely for a set period of time) not to do anything else. Just write. I’m getting better at that, especially when I don’t have much time available. Very little can’t wait twenty minutes. If its an emergency, I’ll respond but how often do we really have emergencies?

My office door

I’m exercising the same mentality with blog posts. I’ve got notifications I need to respond to, but they can wait. Don’t get me wrong, if its a private message I’ll respond between paragraphs, but I don’t want to stop mid paragraph.

Something I am good at is procrastinating. If it were an olympic sport, I’ve be wearing the fucking gold medal! I would be the world record holder and destroy all who come to take my crown, but am I like that anymore? No, I don’t think so. I’m getting my butt in the chair a lot more than I used to. Even though I’m blogging from my bed right now, with a movie on, I’m trying to do all my work from my desk in my office. That’s what it’s there for, and I write more. I write more when I’m working from my desktop (when it wants to work which isn’t often, I do need to get it checked out, but when I have the cash).

The office is a work environment. It’s got fewer distractions, and it’s set up to work. I can write anywhere, but it’s so much easier having that space to write. I can shut the door and get cracking. I’ve got all my notebooks, printer, and very little non-writing items in there.

I’ll take some updated pictures of my office soon, seeing as it’s all but done when it comes to the layout and furniture.

I’ve got my wardrobe in there, which I’ve got covered with pictures of my loved ones. It’s the first thing I see when I walk into the room and it’s an instant inspiration. They help drive me but it’s not just that which is pushing me forward. I’ve had both the worst and best year of my life. Because of the worst I’ve finally addressed my mental health and the help I’ve got for that, along with great support from my loved ones and professionals has meant I’m feeling more focussed and capable now. I would never have been able to think about my goals for next year in the way that I have done without these changes in my life.

What I’ve learnt the most is that I dictate my moods. If I’m feeling down, I now know how to pull myself up. If I can’t do it myself, then I can reach out to loved ones and they help me out of it. We can’t control what happens around us, but we can control how we react to it.

The anthologies I’ve been published in.

This post went way off in a direction I wasn’t expecting! But I hope you enjoyed my rambling!

Good Morning, 31st of July 2020

Peter Germany Editing, Insperation, Life, Outlining, Planning, Preparation, Random Thoughts, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It is 7:46am and I’m up and have a cup of tea and a laptop on my lap. I had planned to have a lay in but my back decided to scupper that idea, yeah….. I’m getting old!

But anyway, nothing worked on yesterday. After work I had errands to run and a couple of phone calls to make and then, and yeah I’m gonna say it, I binge watch the new Transformers series on Netflix. I needed a little downtime as well if I’m honest. I needed to shut down for a few hours, and although I didn’t get lost into the series as I’d have liked to of done I did a little, and that took a little pressure off me. Even if it was just for a few moments it helped.

I’m feeling pumped at the moment. I feel like I’m getting back into the rhythm of getting writing done. I still need some more focus and start thinking forward a little. I vaguely know what I’m going to be doing in the next few months but I need to start trying to figure out a plan going forward. What do I want from the next eighteen months? How the hell do I even figure out how to plan that out? It’s something I’ve been thinking on, and will until I have an answer.

This next few months are very vital to where I want my writing to be. I need to figure my track out and get on it and know where I want to be and what I’ve accomplished in, say eighteen months time. I need to work out what I’m capable of achieving in that time.

I have no idea how to do that, I’m taking to a few people. Seeing what guidance I can get and formulating a plan from there.

That’s a wrap, folks. I’m going to get cracking with my day. Have a good one folks.

(If you want an idea of how my mind is a little scattered at the moment, how I’m struggling to keep focus then look at the time stamp at the start of the post, and it’s now 9:28am).

Subtle Influences

Peter Germany Books, Random Thoughts, Vampires, Writing , , , ,

It struck me recently as I was watching Terminator 2 that I put Mini Guns into pretty much anything that I can and that it was the influence of this film and the movie Predator that gave me this fascination with this weapon. This got me thinking about what else I may have picked up during my life that comes out when I write, although I suspect this may only become obvious once I’ve had my work read by a few people.

This is a thought that has been running through my head and I suppose I like to put loyal and honest characters in my writing. I like putting certain vehicles in as well.  Having worked in the second hand car trade for the last fourteen years I’ve picked up on what generally is a good car and the types of car that I like tend to be reflected in some of my protagonist’ vehicles of choice. I mention guns a lot too. In my vampire collection I mention different pistols i.e. Berreta and Glock.

From now on I know I’m going to be looking at what I’m writing and trying to pick out where I’ve put my likes and dislikes into the text, which i suppose is all part of being a writer. We let our preferences come out in our fiction.

has anyone else noticed this in their own writing?

Erratic Sleeping Pattens

Peter Germany Life, Movies, Random Thoughts, Reading ,

I would not say that I’m an insomniac but I do have a few issues with sleep. Normally it’s a case that I just struggle to drop off when I get my head down. Some nights I’ll lay for what seems like hours before sleeping, and that is normally something I’m okay with. I’ve lived with it for so long I’m use to it. Waking up 3, 4, 5 times a night is something that I am not as used to and it’s what I’m getting at the moment, and it takes it out of me a lot.
This is a time thing though. I’ve been here before and I’m sure that either in a couple of days, a week or two at the most then I’ll be back to normal. Until then I’ll muddle through and adjust as I need to.

A little trick that I have learnt about falling asleep is that I need to relax my mind a little before I try to sleep. Normally a movie or a chapter or two of a book does the trick.

😊