Yesterday I wrote about 700 words on two different stories. One of which feels like it’s come to an end while the other is just getting started.
The one that feels like it’s come to an end doesn’t feel finished. I’ve got an ending but I feel like there is more story to tell. I’ve got A few little snippets whispering to me for it so I’m just going to listen to them, let their voices come through a little clearer before I start pushing them.
I’m trying to listen to these characters before I dive in and start trying to tell their story. This isn’t like a whisp of an idea or a line of dialogue. I’ve got a nice start to this story, and I’ve told one characters story already, but there’s other stories to tell here and I need to take the time to listen to them before I start trying to tell them.
I set out in my post this morning to try and hit 250 words. In the end I wrote 511, and after the first 50 or so they flowed pretty damn smoothly. It’s a new story that isn’t one I’ve been thinking about it was just shot from the hip. I don’t know where it’s going, and I don’t need to know. I’m going to try not to think about it too much and just le the words carry me along.
I also began a little prep work for NaNo, as in I created the file and made some notes on a story idea I had Monday. I’m kind of tempted to go for the short story collection again. I like that format for NaNo and the story I was going to write for NaNo I’ve already started and the one I was thinking about doing I’m not sure it’s the right time to be doing it. I was going to do a rewrite but I’ve GOT TO STOP with the rewrites! I’ve got first drafts done of a few stories and I need to just go through and edit the crap out of them. There’s some good stories there and they deserve to get some proper attention. I’m a big believer in not truly growing as a writer unless others are reading your work. Well I’ve got maybe half a dozen stories of novella length that have never had another pair of eyes look at them. Time to change that.
Maybe focus on writing short stories for a while, and learn more about honing those skills while also working on these edits.
This is my problem, I’m all over the place when it comes to things like this! I think some of the problem is I’ve got three novels that I think I’ve done all I can but can’t afford to send them to an editor at the moment and I’m not sure I want to lumber my beta readers with in excess of 150,000 words of fiction in the next few months. I know if I ask them they would, but I get that anxiety hit and back off.
Speaking of which, I will just take a moment to mention my Buy Me A Coffee page. I am occasionally able to take money from my day job income to fund my writing aspirations but anything would be grateful. I don’t really post much different to Buy Me A Coffee then I do here, I use it at the moment as a way people can easily tip me if they so wish.
And I’d just like to thank everyone who takes the time to read, comment, and share my posts. I am obsessed with numbers (even though they are my nemesis!!!!!) and seeing how many people do stop by always makes me smile!
416 words today, but I also edited my kidnap story and have submitted it! The publisher for the anthology it’s for are pretty good and I should know by the end of August if it’s successful.
It’s always humbling reading through Beta reader’s notes. I’m not fooling myself, I know I’m still learning how to write. But seeing some of the basic mistakes I make it grounds me and makes me want to push harder to improve. The only thing holding me back from improving is myself as I’m not getting enough of my work read by others. It’ something that I drastically need to change. I’m not even talking about publishing. I’m talking about Beta readers. It’s these people who’ll show me what works and what doesn’t, and dear god just how bad my grammar is! A lot of these things I think are the basics and I definitely don’t want to making too many basic mistakes in my work before send them out to editors and for submissions.
Right, I’ve got a few things to do tonight before a little gaming with friends. Then tomorrow, a lot to do!
Good Morning Folks, how are you all doing? I’ve been up about fifteen minutes and am hoping a blog post will help me wake up a little quicker. Plus tea, tea is a gift from all the gods!
I am waking up a little easier now. I was going through a period where I was struggling to get up, I know this is a marker of mental health concerns, but the last few weeks I’ve been setting an alarm, generally for 8am and I’m finding that I’m waking up about 7:30am most mornings. It’s a little different when I’m working an early as I have to be up at 4am for those, but I’m finding it easier to get up for those as well. I’m just not waking up thirty minutes beforehand!
Writing wise, I’m going to add a few more words to the short story I’ve been working on. I think it’s taking shape nicely and although yesterday I was thinking I’ve nearly finished this draft I think I may be a little further off than I thought.
Last night I had a thought and realised that this story I’m kind of letting loose a little and I think there’s an icky factor to it that I like, and I realised last night that is what I should be doing. Finding that element of boundary pushing. I’m a horror writer, the stories are meant to be uncomfortable.
It really got me thinking about the writing I’ve been doing lately and how I need to go down that more uncomfortable path. Art isn’t just meant to be beautiful. It’s allowed to make you think as well, it’s allowed to trigger things that make you feel uncomfortable. So I’m going to try and embrace that.
Right, I’ve work in a bit and would like to get a little bit done or writing work done before leaving. I also need tea! and something to eat.
Rock on folks! It’s the start of a new week, so lets all hit the ground running and make a difference.
I have written 1529 words on Isolation today, and 837 yesterday and I’ve got the first draft done! I wasn’t expecting to get this draft finished today but am pleased I have.
This coming month I’ve got a lot I’d like to get done and I couldn’t have asked for a better start to the month.
I wish I’d been able to dive into the next project, but I wasn’t able to just jump into either the editors notes on the Zombie novella or the vampire book. I also struggled to find the flow with Isolation, until today. I had an idea of how I wanted the story to go but wasn’t sure how to get it there. The ending I’ve got was very spontaneous but I’m wondering if I need to take it in a different direction to what I did. I’m going to sit on it for a few days, maybe a month, and then see how I feel about it.
Right, I’m gonna get myself a little dinner and chill out a little. I’ll probably work on a blog post I’ve been scribbling away at for a few days now after I’ve eaten, but I’ll see how I feel.
Good evening, folks. 720 words on a short story today. I set aside half an hour and ended up writing for forty minutes, which I like because it shows I got into the flow and didn’t stop when my timer went.
With this story I think I might go whole hog with it and just write it how it feels, which might be over the top in the worst kind of way. Or it could be over the top in the best possible way. Only time will tell!
Right, a short and sweet post tonight. It’s very freeing having got the Black Blood draft done. No guilt for working on something else.
Last year was a mixed year for pretty much all of I would say. I’m no different. It was both the best and worst year of my life, from an amazing high to a low I didn’t know existed. If you’re a reader of my blog at petergermany.com you’ll know I’m not going to go into details on those moments. I talk about them because they did have an impact of writing. As you will see from the words I wrote and edited last year.
So, let’s get down to business:
January – 9011 words written
February – 11171 words written
March – 5691 words written
April – 562 words written
May – 1454 words written
June – 517 words written
July – 4524 words written, 39962 words edited
August – 14641 words written, 55323 words edited
September – 20471 words written, 7495 words edited
October – 15773 words written
November – 50615 words written (NaNoWriMo)
December – 13698 words written, 4477 words edited
Totals – 148128 words written, 107257 words edited
I only started tracking the words I edit in July which is why there are no numbers for them before that.
I was also published in three anthologies:
Corona-Nation Street from Burdizzo Books
Beneath The Leaves from Burdizzo Books
It Came From The Darkness from Red Cape Publishing and Phillip Rogers
I am so proud of these stories. My story in Corona-Nation Street, The Wank Diaries, had been written with this anthology in mind but I didn’t like the ending and with everything in life I’d forgotten about it until I’d seen a reminder pop up about it. So I rewrote the ending, which totally changed the tone of the story and I bled into it a lot. In hindsight maybe a little too much, now that I think back to it. But what it adds to the story I think gives it an impact that wasn’t there before.
The other two anthologies are ones I was invited into, with my story in Beneath The Leaves written long before life took a hard turn. My drabble in It Came From The Darkness was easy to write, almost impossible to get it down to the required 100 words!
Looking back now I’ve got the numbers right there, yeah, I’m incredibly happy with how much I achieved as a writer in 2020. There was a moment late in 2019 that I quit, then during the darkest moments of 2020 I didn’t make a decision but writing wasn’t going to be something I ever did again. When I started pulling myself clear of the dark hole I’d slipped into the words started coming again. I remember when I started blogging again last year, I talked about how I was struggling to get the words out again. The Wank Diaries got me going again. There was a deadline and I got it done in time.
That story got me back to doing what I needed to be doing, writing. Many things have helped me to get to the good place I’m in now, but that was a very distinct moment. Writing to me isn’t just a career. It’s part of my soul. Written into my DNA at the most primal level, and I’m never going to stop.
Hey folks, I’ve written 1231 words today on the vampire book and added some notes to Black Blood character files before I felt wiped out and decided on a nap.
After the nap I was going to do a little more but due to a car issue I took my parents to get their vaccine jabs. I made a few notes while I was waiting for them.
I did finish the episode of the vampire book I’ve been working on. The next one has me scratching my head a little, I’m not really sure how I’m going to tell the story I want to tell. I’m going to think it over a little and see what I can think out. I like this story, but it definitely needs rewriting and bringing onto track with how I want the story to be.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been struggling a little with my mental health. Nothing drastic, but enough to make me notice it. I’m taking steps, using what I’ve learnt from the help I’ve received to get back on track. Getting up early is part of that. The last two days I’ve been up around 8am and writing by 9am. Tomorrow I’m going to get up at about 7am and get cracking again before work. It worked well for me on Tuesday, and has worked well in the past. I get a good start to the day and I have a good day.
I feel like I’m on the right path again. Being productive helps, especially first thing of a morning. It means I’ve achieved something already that day.
Mental health is something that is still stigmatised. It’s still a dirty subject that people don’t want to hear about. I’m lucky, I’ve got loved ones who will listen when I need them. I’ve gotten great help, but I will fall at times. It’s how quickly I get back I that matters.
I do have social media pages linked on the side of my blog, please consider following and liking me on any that you are on.
Yesterday I started the day off well. I got up early and got work done. I took a member of my household to the dentist and while they were in there I did some scouting in Gravesend town centre, in particular the Civic Centre (see video for more). Once I got home though, I took a mental health hit.
Something small triggered it, something that I see often but yesterday was the first time it knocked me like it did. I didn’t hit rock bottom, but I did fall somewhat. This made it hard to sleep, I think I had maybe two hours altogether. Maybe three at the most, and most of that was today. I was up at 8am like I planned, like I was yesterday but I knew I had to get my head back down. I finally got up at about 10ish and have felt that lack of sleep all day. I’ve tried to nap this afternoon but with no joy. So I’m going to work for a little while, not long, maybe an hour, and then a bath and reading after dinner. Try to relax into sleep.
On the plus side I did get some writing done last night. A little bit on the vampire era, and the part of it I was working on struck me that it might be a part where people may assume that I’m taking from real life experiences a little too literal. I do bleed into my work. I take what I’ve experienced and put it into characters, but how I think I do it is I put the dark moments I’ve had into the stories, but not the situations. I may get close with the odd one but I’ve not got the urge to turn my life into literature, not 100%.
People ourselves into in our work is something that we all do, even if it’s something that’s subconscious. A lot of the time I don’t think we can help it. Writing, for me, is a great form of therapy. I can channel my emotions into my characters and I hope it makes them more real. More relatable.
Another plus side to last nights insomnia was I did look at the Vampire Era again. It’s on my to-do list but I’ve been so preoccupied with Penal Earth and Black Blood I hadn’t got around to looking at it. I’m going to start working on it, because it’s a rewrite and it’ll allow me to write while also working on editing and building worlds. I need to make sure I can find a way to be writing as well as working on the other elements of producing content.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a long time you’ll remember that was a time when I’d write a Good Morning, Sunday post each week. I used to write it while sitting in the living room, normally when my parents were at their caravan, before I started writing for the day. I used to work Monday through Saturday so Sundays were a day when I had to get words wrangled, but it almost always started off with me writing those blog posts. I’d have Dizzy sitting on the arm of the chair next to me, and our late doggo Pacey sitting on the floor by my chair. Now, I often work Sundays, but I have other days off during the week. So this pre-writing posts, which I write because they help wake up the productive part of my brain and soul, should be coming more often.
Right, down to today though. I had a lot I was planning to do on Friday that never got off the ground. I gave in and had a PJ day, although I did write a few words Friday evening. So today I’m going to try and knock some of the items off Friday’s to-do list, once I’ve found my diary!
I’d like to start off with writing, but have done the first draft of the story I finished yesterday so I might work on a story I’ve set in the Penal Earth universe. Yeah, that’ll do!
I’ve got to put together a list of details for an artist to do some sketches for Black Blood (okay, it’s my mum! She’s a fantastic artist and when discussing it with her she’s already come up with some good ideas that I worked into the last edit). I’ve already printed off a couple of satellite images of the area that this story primarily takes place in, so I’ll pass them onto her with the rest of the details. This is part of me adding details that I’ve written down over the month to the Scrivener file for this story. That’s going to take some time but it needs to be done. One of my goals for next month is to have the ending mapped out. I know what I want it to be, but I need to map it out so I can hopefully give it the punch I want it to have.
Where I’ve got this coming week off, I want to make it as productive as I can. So I’ve got a list of goals for it that I will hit! I haven’t gone mad and put too much on it. It’s a week off from work and I want some chill out time as well. I’d really love to get into Gears of War 5 and get that finished as well! I’ve a personal matter to see to as well, and I’ve got a socially distanced walk with a friend as well.
Covid isn’t something I’ve really talked about here, but I really should at some point. Both from a creative point of view as well as every day life. But that’s for another post.
Now, I’m going to get some work done! Have an awesome day, folks! Be kind and look through the darkness because there is always light!