A Little Fear and a lot of Frustration

Frustration: I found it really hard to get the motivation to get going tonight. Again, it was a case that once I’d done all of the little bits and pieces that I needed to do once I’d gotten home it was gone 8pm before I had even turned my iMac on. It’s this frustration at not being able to get a good start that really bothers me, but a late start can also be a blessing. Knowing I haven’t got much time to write means I have to focus more and make the most of that limited time. Tonight for example, I’ve managed to write 1400 words in about 50 minutes. Would I have done that if I’d had another hour? Probably not. Last night I had a little more time to write and I only wrote 97 more words and that took me 20 minutes longer. So maybe I need to accept that some nights I won’t be able to start writing till later and that may be a better thing. (and staying off Facebook helps too).

Fear: This little bit of fear I had tonight snuck up on me as I was pouring myself a glass of cola just before coming up to start writing and it was the fear of thinking I won’t hit my target of 30,000 words by January the 1st. Being struck by this fear was very irrational for two reasons. The first is that it doesn’t matter too much if i don’t hit 30k by the 1st. I’ve no deadline set by someone else to hit. It’s a deadline that I set myself. Secondly is that it is the 17th of December and as of tonight I have written 19,415 words this month. That means I’m 2415 words ahead of target (target was 1000 words a day) and even if I only write that 1000 words a day till the end of the month I’ll still hit target.

I don’t know where this fear come from tonight. Perhaps its seeped over from other, non writing, elements of my life. I don’t know. Maybe this is just part of the process, little pins of self-doubt jabbing at me when I’m not actually writing. When I am writing, that’s when things seem to make a little more sense.

Flash Post: Playlists

I hear a lot about writers burning playlists for when their writing and writing to music is something that can be very helpful but so far I’ve only really written to the albums i have and not cut any playlists for specific moods; mainly because I haven’t found the time to transfer my favourite albums and songs over to my iMac from my CDs. Once I’ve got this vampier collection done and off to Beta readers then I’ll spend an evening or two loading some up 🙂

A Busy Week

On Sunday I figured I’d be well stuck into the first story from my vampire collection but the week is turning out to be a busy one. I had a flake out on Monday (I think i had a little heat stroke) and last night I was at the cinema with a buddy watching Godzilla. Today I got home to find that my new iMac had been delivered so I’ve spent the night setting this up and getting my files transferred over. Tomorrow I’m off out to dinner with a couple of friends so there will be no work done then either. So it’s down to Friday to make some progress and get some red penning done on the first story because come Saturday I’ll be down Owen’s to make sure that we are both on the right track with Project Apollo. If we are then I’ll be streaming into the next chapter of that.

We do have a bank holiday weekend here in the UK so I’ve got Monday to spend working on writing as well so I’m sorely tempted to focus on a vampire story then. I have nothing else planned so I can’t see why not. I do have to sit down and brainstorm this series out a little before I get too stuck into any further work. I have a lot of ideas bouncing around and a lot of notes scattered through various note books as well. I need to sit down and collect all of those and see what they all come up with and see if I do still know where I am going with these stories. Okay, to be honest i know roughly where I want to go but I need to decide just when I get there. At the moment I have about five completed stories but I want at least ten for the first collection, and I have to lock down what I want the overall arc of that first collection to be. So I think a brainstorming session might be a good idea.

Adjusting My Desk

I’ve been thinking about buying an iMac for a couple of years, and on Friday I finally ordered one. Needless to say I’m quite keen to get it, but I have a few days to go until it’s delivered. This delay is quite handy though as I needed to make a few adjustments to my desk.


As you can see from the picture the desk has a shelf and storage on the right hand side of the desk. This made for a relatively small gap for where the monitor goes. To be fair I brought this desk almost ten years ago and it was idea for what I needed, but there is no way that the iMac is going to fit into the gap. So I took the shelf and side storage off and now I have the space for the iMac.


An unexpected benefit from doing this has meant that it has opened up that end of my room. It’s lighter and I have a fantastic view of the back garden now.


I did like the desk with the shelf when I brought it, but over time it just became a home for clutter; and if you know me I love a bit of clutter. In time I will buy a new desk, and maybe a new chair (that’s twelve years old) but those will have to wait for the moment. I do need a bigger desk, but I need to find one that suits my needs and will fit into the small space where the current desk is.

The iMac will replace an Acer laptop that I’ve been using for 8 months. This little laptop has done me really well but now it will go off to my brother for him to use. Its a solid bit of kit and I will be a little sad to see it go. That does mean I’ll be on my iPad for when I’m at Write-Ins or just generally out and about. After a recommendation from someone in a writers group I’m a member of I’ve seen a Logitech one I’m going to order when I get paid. It looks solid and suitable for my needs.

I’ve wanted to switch over to a Mac for quite some time and I’m glad I’ll be taking delivery of one soon 🙂

Not A Bad Day :)

It’s not been a bad day today, I didn’t get as much written as I would have liked but I got some done so I’m glad 🙂

An Apple computer is definitely looking like a strong choice.  I popped into the Apple store down at Bluewater and spoke to a gentleman called Darren who was very helpful and has pretty much convinced me that a Mac is the way to go.

Last night I had some great feedback on the beginning of a story from a good friend so once I’ve finished the current WIP I am going to get that story finished off properly.

I also watched Man On A Ledge recently and although it was pretty good it wasnt spectacular.  I predicted the ending and some of the little parts of it which is always a bit of a disappointment for me.  So tonight I’m watchingAliens lol.

I’m gonna read a couple of IO9 articles then I’m off to bed.  Night all 🙂