Howdy folks, how are we all doing tonight?

I have had an up and down day. I got a few words written this morning but was feeling quite rough for and couldn’t focus too well. So I stopped and did a few little bits and pieces and crashed out a little bit. After a little while I was feeling better and ended up going for a short bike ride. Yes, a bike ride. I haven’t properly ridden a bike for, twenty plus years. I went for my first ride in all that time yesterday. I rode 2.87 miles in about 18 minutes. Yes I did stop a couple of times, but I didn’t push the bloody thing up the bitch of a (little) hill that I didn’t think about when I started peddling. Today I went out again but not as far. I’m kind of giving myself a shakedown. I need to find where I am standing when it comes to my fitness.

After I got back, and didn’t collapse (so yesterday wasn’t a fluke of me not collapsing!) I went out and got something for dinner and then came home, gamed for a bit and then washed my car. Yes, I washed my car. Kinda surprised I did that as well today to be honest.

What does this mean? I mean, going for a bike ride, albeit short, two days running. I got out and washed my car. I’ve done a few other little bits and pieces as well, and feel pretty good about it. What’s changed in me where I’ve been not just wanting to do this but am actually able to do it. To not be scared of stepping out of my safe little bubble. Therapy. I’ll be on my fourth Cognitive Behavioural Therapy this week. What I’m being taught by the therapist, it’s all stuff I already knew, but having someone talk me through it, asking me questions gets the message home. It does help that I’m vibing with them. I’m anxious that I’m going to drift back to old bad habits once the sessions are finished but I’m also feeling like I’m more capable of carrying it on now.

I’ve also been consistent with blogging for the last couple of weeks. Mostly a writing journal, but I like sharing the ups and downs of writing. I like talking about my mental health because more people need to know that not talking about it, doesn’t help. I know the mental health resources are massively underfunded, and isn’t given the depth that it needs to have. We need to change mentalities. We need to accept that people have mental health problems, and if they ask for help, it needs to be listened to.