Fighting Back From Disillusionment

Today I’ve felt more like myself than I have done for the last couple of weeks. Ideas have been popping around in my head all day and its the first time in quite some time that those ideas have been coming to me while I’ve been at work. Aside from when I’ve actually been writing I’ve not really been feeling creative.

I think part of this lack of new ideas has been to do with the disillusionment that I’ve been feeling due to how the Earth, After Liberation re-write just fell apart. I’m also thinking that I got myself a little burnt out. I’ve done a lot of writing since November and I’m wondering if I should have had a few days for a break between wrapping up the sequel to Earth, After Liberation and then working on the re-write for Earth, After Liberation.
I found a lot more plot holes with it then I was expecting to and how I was planning to set the stories up will not work out how I thought they would. I think I need to work out how some of the details of the plot will work out before I look to it again.
One of the problems I’ve had with Earth, After Liberation was that it was feeling very robotic as I was writing it. This was just part of the disillusionment that I mentioned earlier in the post. I was really sick and frustrated with what I was writing and felt like I’d lost the ability to write a story that had a structure as well as depth of story, character and the universe it’s set in. It also felt like it had no soul to it.
This was a really low place I found myself in and I didn’t really know where I wanted to go with writing. At the end of last year it seemed like I had a lot of words to write this year but I found I couldn’t find anything that I wanted to write. Owen and I aren’t ready to start the re-write of Project Apollo. Nor are Chrystalyn and I ready to start on The Residents.
Knowing I had these two books to work on in the next year was worrying me as well because I feared that I wouldn’t have the ability to do either story justice.
Finally I decided I needed to go back to basics and picked up a pen and paper and started re-writing Avoiding The Game. This is the first story I wrote for NaNoWriMo back in 2010 and it’s one that I tried to re-write a couple of years ago but I never managed to get a good feel for it. That time I was writing straight into a computer and this time I’m doing it by hand, and it’s feeling so much more natural than it has been when I’ve been typing my recent drafts.

Writing longhand has felt so freeing on a level that I have not felt in a long time. I don’t feel constricted like I was, the words are flowing a lot more naturally and my characters are talking to me again.
It is a slower process but if it means that my first draft is so much better than recent efforts then it is very much worth it, and hopefully when I came to type it up I’ll be able to make the changes as I type it up.

And,

Writing is actually fun again.

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