Faking It

At the moment I feel like a fraud, maybe a wannabe is a better word because I have not got anything published so readers can judge for themselves whether I can write or not. (Please don’t judge my writing ability on the content of this blog 😛 )

I’ve been writing for a good ten years now and I have never even attempted to have anything published. Okay eight of those years were spent mainly on one novel with a friend which will never see the light of day in its current state. I have in the last three years written eight or nine short stories which need tidying up and submitting to the sci-fi magazines, although a fair chunk of those are tied in together so I may put those into a collection.

It has only bee the last couple of years that I have been taking this more seriously. In that time I think I’ve come along so far but I’ve still not got anything ready for the world to see. In those two years I have also been working mainly on two joint projects, with Owen, from the same universe which are evolving as we write them so neither are ready to be published.
The rest of this year is going to be focused on writing a novel that I’ve got kind of written but I’m not happy with it and I’m going to start fresh with it. Me and Owen are going to get Apollo wrapped up and there will be some work on The Residents with Chrystalyn.

I am deffinately going to self publish, ebooks mainly but eventually I’ll do Print On Demand too. What sits in the back of my mind a lot are the bits that I do not need to worry myself with at the moment. Cover art and formatting, paying tax on what I (will hopefully) earn. Where and how to submit to magazines and lots of other little things that I don’t need to address yet. I need to shut those thoughts out and focus on the actual writing and the story.

Along with those doubts and the lack of confidence in about my writing ability I mentioned earlier, there are times when I feel like my head is going to explode, but then I look at some of the people who I have met through writing. Cinta Garcia de la Rosa and Chrystalyn Hope are the two people who have encouraged me more then any others. Both of these amazing ladies have read my work and have been not held back from telling me how good a writer I am. Both are amazing writers as well whose work I adore reading. Then there are people like Christopher Stocking and Jordanna East who, like Cinta and Chrystalyn, are amazing writers. Each one has written fiction that I’ve not been able to put down.

People have told me I am a good writer, this I still doubt but that’s a confidence issue that even if I out sold Stephen King I’d still have but if I can get just that little bit more confidence in myself I will be able to suppress many of these doubts.

I KNOW I can write, but when I have something ready to put up on Amazon I hope I’ve got someone standing behind me with a hand on my should (or a gun to my head) saying “Publish it mate” I hope once I’ve got one out in the world for all to see then a second, then a third and beyond will be easier to put out.

Christopher Stockinghttp://writetoperfect.wordpress.com/

Chrystalyn Hopehttp://thefutureofhope.wordpress.com/

Cinta Garcia de la Rosahttp://cintascorner.com/

Jordanna Easthttp://jordannaeast.com/


15 thoughts on “Faking It

  1. Sweetie, we’ve all been there. We’ve all felt like frauds. We’ve all had doubts. We’ve all wondered if we were destined for failure, our books fated for oblivion. But giving up isn’t an option. I hope you know that.

    I always like to think of A League of Their Own. One of the girls complains that being on the team and on the road is too hard. Tom Hanks says, “Of course it’s hard. It’s the hard that makes it great. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it.” He’s referring to baseball, but the quote applies to anything you’re passionate about. So keep your head up. ♥


    • I’ve still got some confidence issues, but shortly after I had the first story publish in Sparks I had a crisis of confidence and seriously doubted my ability, but Chrystalyn gave me both barrels and told me I can’t have any doubts about whether I can write now. (having a reviewer compare a piece of mine to Stephen King hasn’t hurt either!) Since then I’ve been included in three more anthologies and have another one out next month.
      What I’m fighting now is feeling like I’m slacking. I’ve got a lot of ideas and just need to step up and get something that’s just got my name on it published. That should be this year, at the latest early next year.
      I should be further along than I am, that is a confidence thing. I fear hitting that publish button, but on the other hand I haven’t been ready to take that step. As in other confidence and my ability as a writer. I think I’m there, or at least very close with the zombie novella. I’ll have an editor looking at it soon and then (once cover art is done) I’ll hit that publish button.
      The biggest difference between 2013 and now, I’m friends with more writers. One of the reasons I champion NaNoWriMo is it introduced me to local writers and since then I feel I’ve come a long way. I’ve also got other writers who are about the same place in this journey I am. I’m also friends with writers who are further ahead who inspire me.
      Thank you for the comment, it really got me thinking! 🙂


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