Good evening, folks! How are we all doing?

This last week has been a slower one. Poor sleep has kind of scuppered writing a touch. I’ve still managed to write every day, and have made some decent progress with Penal Earth 2, and a spin off story from that world.

Something that is one of my worst traits is I’m lazy, but I’m not. I’m beginning to realise that much of what I take as laziness is anxiety. I think about all the things that I’ve got to do, want to do, and it’s too much. It’s overwhelming and I start shutting down. I fire up the Xbox, or I watch a movie. Maybe have a nap, anything to not write, or crack on with the garden, or one of a dozen over things I want/need to do.

So, what do I do now that I’ve realised this? I don’t know. I think I’ve got to keep reminding myself of this realisation. Keep telling myself that it’s not laziness, it’s fear, anxiety, insecurity. I need to remind myself that when I do get my arse into gear and do some of these bits and pieces, I feel better. Every time. It’s good for my mental health being proactive. So, why not? Why should I let my mind hold me back. I’m tired of living each day feeling like I’ve got one hand tied behind my back while I’ve also got a lead weight around my foot. No more. I’m tired of it. Tired of hating myself, of feeling like a failure.

And the first step is, getting a decent amount of sleep! Night all!