Wow folks, this month is flying by! We’re nearly April and for the first time in many months I can say not only have I done a lot of hours writing (last I checked about 27 hours for the month, which is good for me), but I’ve made progress on projects. I have a completed draft for Penal Earth 2. That’s sitting in a virtual draw for a couple of months so I’m somewhat fresh when I go back to it. In addition to that I’ve made significant progress with War Child. I’m in the final quarter of the book and trying to get the ending close to how I want it. I’ve already had to scrap a fair amount of words because what I was writing was just me waffling. So I’ve rolled back to roughly when I was on track and I think (or maybe hope and or pray) that I’ve got it back on track.

War Child is still a long way off completion but I really like where it is at the moment.

I have started working on something that may just be for fun. Although I love the writing I’m doing, the majority of it has been on long term projects that have bigger pictures. Penal Earth and War Child, especially War Child, have larger arcs I’ve got in the back of my head. With this new tale I’m feeling quite free with it. I don’t feel like I have any expectations of myself for it. At this moment in time I doubt I’ll ever show it to anyone, and if it fizzes out I’m not worried. It’s quite freeing to be honest.

If anyone here is following my mental health journey, it’s still pretty good. I am feeling a lot more raw, like my emotions are back to being just under my surface. I don’t feel I have to suppress them anymore. Like it’s okay to feel, it’s okay to feel like I’m gonna cry watching a movie or tv show. Hell, laying in bed last night I teared up a little because I was dead tired. I wasn’t feeling too well over the weekend and lost a fair amount of sleep, so last night I went out like a light!

Even now as men there’s still that stigma attached to showing the wrong emotions. Like, a man can be angry, they can shout at someone and front up to them, or they can punch a wall because their team didn’t win. But we can’t feel depressed. We can’t feel lonely, we can’t feel lost. How about we just feel. Let men (well, anyone really) feel what they’re feeling? There’s a lot of anger in this world, and so much of it stems from expectations placed on us, whether that’s family and friends, or socially. Or ourselves. I’m working hard in listening to myself, listen to what I need out of life. Am I where I want to be? No, but I can see the path I want to be on. Getting there isn’t easy but it’s not going to be worth the struggles of life if it was easy.

Right, I’ve gotta think about getting into work. Have an awesome day folks!