Good morning folks, how are we all?

This is day three, no four, of not sleeping well. I’m having a real battle at the moment where I just cannot nod off. I’ve tried the tricks that I know and none of them really seem to be hitting the note. I think a major problem I’ve got now is where I’ve had to nap the last couple of days due to lack of sleep, and when I have slept overnight it’s not been good sleep. Napping then adds to the insomnia later on. On the plus side, I’ve notice my anxiety isn’t eating me up during this sleepless nights. It used to be like my greatest hits of self-loathing and fear, but this week I haven’t had that at all. CBT is absolutely helping!

Yesterday, I didn’t write. My brain was just too frazzled and even though CBT is helping I think my anxiety has been chipping away at me somewhat because I’m tired. I retreat into gaming far too much when that happens, which I also think adds to the anxiety because I’m not working on goals I know I can hit. Another indictor that anxiety is high is I haven’t shaved for a few days. Something little, but also an indicator that I’m running on autopilot.

What can I do to change this course I’m on? Getting into bed by 9pm tonight. I have an early tomorrow and if I can have everything done by 8pm and be in bed with a movie I think that’ll help with nodding off. Making myself more tea. This might seem like an odd one, but I like a few different teas. Mainly lemon and ginger, turmeric and ginger, and mint tea. I don’t think it’s just having the tea that helps here, I think going downstairs, boiling the kettle, letting the tea mix with the water slowly instead of giving it an aggressive stir, makes me have to slow down for a few minutes. It means I can get away from a screen for a few minutes, which does help. Having a camomile tea before bed can help as well, but it’s also a tasty tea to end the day with.

Staying hydrated. Summer is here in the UK, and I’m on sertraline. This is one of the mental health drugs which does dehydrate. I also have a small kidney stone, which as long as I’m hydrated doesn’t really bother me. But knocking back three-four litres of squash (I know it should be water, but I just can’t chug that much water) in a day helps.

The annoying thing is I know all this helps. I know if I can do these things, or at least a good mix of them, then it helps not just sleeping but my mental health overall. I achieve much more, I feel more settled in myself, and I get a lot more done. But when that anxiety is heckling from the crowd it can be hard to push through. Although CBT is teaching me the tools of living with these problems, and I’m making advances, there’s still a lot to do.

I need to start the writing day, I’d like to get a good dent into the mech story before the sun works its way around to the back of my house where my room is and turns it into an over.

First things first though, I need to tidy my desk!

I hope you all have an awesome day!