After a late night of gaming I decided to have a lay in this morning, and I think it was needed.
Yesterday I wrote 567 words, I think. It was about that number anyway.
It was a decent session. I hand wrote for the first time in a good couple of years and found it to be quite therapeutic. Last year I was struggling with writing, particularly towards the end of the year so it was a relief to be able to get some words down. It’s a story that’s in a universe I’ve already got set up but I’m not sure just how much I’m going to cross over with the main storyline that I’ll be working on.
Today will be a little more of a low key day with writing. I’ve got some other bits to work on before I’m going to start writing.
I edited 3691 words on the Zombie book. There is a lot of work to go into it to get it right and it’s a little intimidating. I know what I need to do and I’m pretty sure how to do it. It’s just the thought of working through it line by line to get it there.
I’m only on the first if the three parts and I know the last one needs the most work, but strangely enough I think that will be easier than this first part of the book.
As I slept badly I took a small nap and then chilled out with some GTAV.
This evening I’m gonna watch a movie and then get an early night.
I’ve been playing a lot of GTAV online recently as part of working on my self-care. Gaming for me is an escape for me. It’s one the few things that turns my brain off from everything going on around me.
With GTAV I used to play it a lot but my anxieties would get to me. Mostly I’d just drive around robbing convenience stores, stealing and selling cars, and occasionally working for another player as bodyguard or associate. I had a Motorcycle Gang clubhouse but rarely did anything with it. When I would do the missions I’d get very frustrated when another player would thwart my efforts. And after a while it felt like it was becoming toxic to me. I was literally driving around doing nothing in the game. So I deleted it.
A few weeks ago Stefan from Stefan’s Daily Gaming mentioned playing it so I loaded it up again. Unfortunately we’ve not been able to make playing together happen, yet. But I’ve got a few plans for when it does happen.
The first few sessions I didn’t really do a lot, but then I had my day out at Broadstairs and that realisation that fear is ruining my life and I started doing more. I’ve bought a ID counterfeiting business via my motorcycle gang and have done a couple of the Survival challenges. I used to never do anything like that. The one time I did I got a little shit talking from the other players, and that put me off. Now I don’t think I’d be as delicate to it, but I also think I’m not going to be doing many of these missions with strangers. I think I just need to find my people on there. With Stefan I think it’ll be good. We’ve done a fair bit of gaming together and I think we’ll work well together.
I would like to have peeps I play with on there. You see others doing it and I think it would enhance the experience. It’ll make earning cash easier as well as some of the contacts for example need at least two people and even the ones that don’t an extra gun would be handy. You can recruit players in game to work for you, with a Motorcycle Gang they start as Prospects. I’ve had next to no luck with this, but I will persist as I want to expand that experience of the game.
At the moment I am building funds so I can expand my empire. I have something that’s beginning to look like a plan building. I’ve done a little reading online for tips etc. and I’m beginning to get an idea of where I want to put my money. I’ve just got to earn it first, and I’m not buying funds from Rockstar. I’m not necessarily against that, but its not for me. A) I don’t really have the budget to spend on games outside of my Xbox Game Pass each month and B) I want to earn my money. I don’t want shortcuts. I want to hustle and earn my wealth.
Now, other players do bother me. Some, I think they’r recalled Griefers, although I prefer trolls, are just out to ruin others enjoyment. I can understand trying to screw up someone as they’re trying to transport goods. You earn cash and RP (Respect Points) in doing that. It’s the ones who’ll do that, and then spend the next ten minutes just trying to kill you. These people normally have vehicles which are hard to destroy, like military grade fighters, when all I wanna do is get back onto another money earner. I even had one troll message me on Xbox (not even the in game messaging system) bragging about a gaming chair and calling me a noob. Firstly, I’m not sure what the chair has to do with it, secondly, I’m nearly level 100 on the game, so although I’m not a gifted gamer calling me a noob wasn’t accurate, and thirdly I’m not rising to that bait. I’m past that. I haven’t got time to get in a dick waving contest over a video game. If you’re someone that gets pleasure from ruining someone else’s enjoyment then you really need help. I’ll also not back down. I’m not quitting a session due to someone trolling me. Stuff that, I’ve given into too many bullies in my life, and I’m not going to do it anymore. Especially not on a video game.
I’ve made a few missteps cash wise but I’m on a decent road to recovery with it and am getting close to instigating my next major purchase.
I know I’m not the most gifted gamer, but some things in the game I do well. I’ve found I’m pretty damn good on a motorbike (which is shocking cause in real life I’ve never been on one), but I do feel exposed and would rather be driving my armoured sports car. Especially in a session where there’s a lot of hostility going around. I will admit that when I’m in those sessions I tend to be a little more passive and not as pro-active when running my MC (motorcycle gang), but I think I’ll change that. Loosing a payday or dying in game isn’t the end of the world. I’ve not found anything on this game that can be lost and not recovered one way or another.
I feel like I’ve made a commitment to build something in this game. To be successful in it. It’s not going to be easy and I’ve got to keep a strong nerve and not quit when it gets hard.
Since writing this post yesterday morning I have added a nightclub to my growing empire and I think this is gonna help me step up a level.
This last week hasn’t been too bad. I got the short story I’ve written finished and off to Owen. I’ve made a little progress on the fanfic piece but have come to a piece which I didn’t think I’d have to rewrite but it’s not fitting into the rest of the story. I’m not sure if I’m going to keep it generally as it is or rewrite it with different content.
I am going to be digging into these two short story submissions now I’ve finished the short story I was on. I’ve been having sporadic ideas for both, but one in particular is really boiling up some ideas.
Today I’ve got to admit, I’m not planning on doing much writing. I’m planning on having a slack off day and playing some GTAV. I’m trying to vary what I’m doing in my spare time a little. I think making time to do a little gaming instead of just diving into a TV show or movie.
I’ve had a couple of quiet days, I just needed to wind down a little. I didn’t write much but played a lot of GTAV online over the weekend (got my arse seriously kicked quite a few times too), but yesterday I wrote and got a really decent 800 words down. I rewrote a paragraph I felt I’d written a tad lazily and I’m much happier with where the paragraph has gone now.
That’s another lesson for me, never write when I’m not fully with it. I do a half-arsed job and then just have to rewrite what I’d written anyway.
I finally got in touch with Owen and discovered he’s had a phone issue, so we’ve talked out the plot hole and have found a solution and are moving forward again.
I haven’t written today. I did a little Christmas shopping this evening and by the time I got home I was wiped. Tomorrow I’ve got a Write-In with members of my local NaNo group, but I think it’ll be more of a writing social than an evening of writing. It’ll be good to sit and chat to them again. It’s such a good region mine and I’m lucky to be in such a supportive community.
That’s it for tonight, I’m just going to finish watching Need For Speed and then it’s some sleep for me.
I’m just writing a quick little post before I go to work, give an update on how Project Apollo has gone this week s far.
I’m feeling pretty good about my prodcutivity. I’m not just getting a lot of words writtten, I think I’m getting some good words written and building the story and the universe.
There’s been a couple of speedbumps so far with this rewrite but aside from one aspect most of them should be easily fixed. That one problem is something that Owen and I are still trying to figure out but I’m hoping we’ll have it sorted out sooner rather then later.
Last night I managed to get about 800 or so words done, which I’m beryl happy with because I really didn’t feel like writing last night (I wasn’t in an especially good mood). I had not desire to do anything aside from playing GTAV but I forced myself to get my arse in the chair and write. This time last week I wouldn’t have been able to do that due to the rut that I’ve been in since January.
That’s all I’ve got time for now, I am going to try and work some time into my week to get some more thought through posts written. These must be getting boring by now 😛
The last two, three weeks I’ve really struggled to get going with anything, not just writing. Aside from the day job it feels like I’ve not got anything done for the last few weeks, well, aside from playing GTAV that is. I’m not sure why I’ve been like this, at the moment I’m thinking it’s just a case of life stuff maybe having more of an effect on me then it normally does.
I really going to try and get my arse into gear this week. I should be done with this read-through of Earth, After Liberation but I’m only up to Chapter 11.
That’s basically what I’m going to try and do this week, get my head back into it and get these notes made on Earth, After Liberation. I’ve got a lot of writing on it to do, which once I get there I know I’ll love but I’ve got to get the red-penning done before I can get there.
I’ve not even read much or watched many movies in the last couple of weeks either.
I need to get blogging regularly again as well. I feel like I’ve neglected it over the last few weeks. I’ve got something a little different to what I normally do in the pipelines which’ll be posted in the near future.
Today is the start of a new week and I’m determined to get back on track!
These last two weeks I have done nothing, well aside from playing GTAV. No writing, no editing, no research, nothing. Why have I done nothing? I’m not really sure if I’m honest. I think it may have been a collection of different things that knocked me off my stride. Editing on Earth, After Liberation was not moving that well. I’m at a stage where I had left a large gap in time and I decided to fill in the details about what happened in that time period, I’ve made a right pigs ear of it and although I was going to keep what I have written in this part I am now going to scrap it and start again as I have a better idea of what I want to put into this part.
When I went to start editing on the Monday the 20th (Jan) I turned on my laptop to find a message that our anti-virus software was not there. It was part of our internet providers package we had but we upgraded the package and the person we dealt with on the phone did not inform us of this. So instead of writing I spent two hours setting up a new anti-virus service and loading it onto two laptops. It was not a smooth process and much verbal abuse was directed at the laptop.
The next night I found I had no desire at all to write. Now I often feel like this but can force myself to sit in the chair and start writing but this time I couldn’t even do that, so I played Xbox and did so for almost every night until tonight.
I realised quickly that I had no desire to do anything so I decided to have the rest of the month off. In this time I’ve not been well, nothing that I’m going to go into any detail about as its not important. I still went to work everyday but I was not ‘Me’ For the first time in a very long time I did not feel myself. Normally when I’m unwell I’m a little subdued but I’m still me but the last two weeks I wasn’t myself at all, even to the point where I caused Tracie (my amazing girlfriend) worry because she could see that I wasn’t myself. It was only Wednesday that I slowly started to feel better. Thursday I was much better but it’s only been today that I have felt like ‘Me’ again.
What’s next? Back to Earth, After Liberation. Get that edited then to work on Project Apollo with Owen Arnold (we had a brainstorming tonight), edit’s on short stories that are awaiting my attention and probably The Residents with Chrystalyn Hope. I have had Avoiding The Game bugging me a little this last week but that’s not going to be looked at for a while. Again, I’m not giving any dates or time frames here as I’ll probably miss them by miles.
I am now at about 9700 words, I should have broken the 10,000 word mark last night but I got a new tv and once I had hooked it up I just had to try GTAV in HD (how awesome is this game in HD by the way!) and BOOM! The evening was lost. So today I have even more catching up to do. Aside from Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D I have nothing to distract me tonight and hopefully I’ll get a little closer to being on target.
As for the story I think it’s going okay. My outline is pretty much out of the window now but I’m loosely following it still, after I got it back on track.
That’s all for now, I’m PeterJReaper on NaNo if you want to add me as a buddy, I do add back 🙂 and if you’re doing NaNoWriMo I hope you’re not only on target but feeling energised as well.